Essays: Laurie's Wonderful Life - A Look Back

Before you begin reading this article and if you are in the process of reading any of the three stories on this blog please note there are spoilers for all the stories in this article.

Some of the reasons as to why I wrote Laurie’s Wonderful Life can be found in this preview. But those weren’t the only reasons.

In both The Kid & Me and in Laurie & Dag I had copped out in a small way. Originally in The Kid & Me, Bettie was to be killed when she was hit by that car near the end of the story until I gave her a last minute reprieve. Likewise, I originally thought I might end Laurie & Dag differently.

My idea for Laurie and Dag was to end the story with Laurie and Angela being reunited as part of the last Chapter, and then the ending epilogue would take place years later. It would have had Laurie and Angela living together as they are at the beginning of Laurie’s Wonderful Life, and they would go to that bar once again and the crazy guy would enter as he did before. Only it would have been Angela to have been shot and killed.

The reason I almost used that ending is not only because an event like that actually did happen, but because I wanted to give the reader some idea that Lesbians and Gays not only face a great deal of discrimination, but that there is always the thought that some crazy is out there wanting to take them out for whatever reason. You could ask Matthew Shepherd and Scotty Joe Weaver about that, that is if they were alive for you to do so.

But in the end I felt that after everything Laurie had went through in Laurie and Dag, that I needed to leave the reader with at least some sense of hope for the future. Maybe it is just my own wishful thinking also that things can be better. Of course, when I wake up to the news every day and see the shambles that Bush and his co-horts have made of this country, when I read stories such as this one I read last week, you really begin to wonder if there is any hope for anything and whether or not the damage they have done can ever be corrected. I mean when this country worries more about keeping a couple of the same sex from exchanging vows at the alter, or worse than that how many days Paris Hilton will spend in jail then the fact that there are over 3,000 dead in Iraq and that the President and his cohorts has made a shambles of the constitution, then they might as well start calling us The United States of Looney Tunes.

Still, I had the scene in my mind of Laurie and Angela going into that bar in my mind and it just kind of stayed there as if I needed to write it. So eventually that scene became the most important scene in Laurie’s Wonderful Life, as it was the driving force behind the whole story.

Another reason I wrote Laurie’s Wonderful Life is that I felt I owed closure to those who had been loyal followers of the story on the official Sims 2 web site. Even when I originally wrote it I didn’t expect Wonderful Life to do well on that site. Most of my regular readers had moved on after having became quite disgusted with the way the official site was being ran back then and is still being run now. I seldom use it and when I do it is to find an answer for somebody else. And as I suspected, it didn’t do well at all and was pretty much buried after being attacked by those who still held silly grudges for one reason or another including the fact that I had dared to write a story about gays and a girl having an abortion.

The thing of it is, I will probably always regret in some way that I didn’t pick up Laurie’s and Angela’s story right after the original story ended. There were several reasons for it, the main one being that because I had lost so much readership at The Sims 2 site, there would not be anybody to bother with reading it. I’m sure some of you will say that it shouldn’t matter and perhaps you are right. But writing a Sims story that is worthwhile with the pictures and everything else involved requires an enormous amount of time and effort, and you would want to think that the effort was rewarded at least in some readership. I really don’t care if someone likes or dislikes the story, but I would at least like them read. And at that time since The Sims 2 was the only outlet for those stories, it was not something I cared to pursue for that site as I knew any thing I wrote would be forever buried by those silly people with their silly grudges and narrow mindedness.

Another reason I didn’t pick up Laurie and Dag’s story right after high school is because I didn’t think I could ever do it justice. For one thing, I was clueless as to what it would be like for Laurie to struggle through College and Medical School even if I do watch Grey’s Anatomy every week. But most of all, I honestly didn’t think I could write about the Gay & Lesbian lifestyle and get it right. And if I was going to write about it, getting it right was extremely important. I had made it through Laurie & Dag by doing hours and hours of research on the internet. To go through the years with Laurie and Angela would have required researching not only what studying to be a surgeon would be like, but even more hours of research into the gay life style. And it is not that I was unwilling to do that, but to make that much of a commitment I would have to know that there were enough people out there reading it to make it worth my while.

And of course as I have mentioned time and time again, if I were to write such a story for The Sims 2 web site, I would have to constantly change what I wanted to write to fit their criteria as I did with both Laurie and Dag and Laurie’s Wonderful Life.

The graphic scene in the bar when Joe is killed was not even close to being what I wrote for this story blog. Here is the original text as Angela remembered that night. You can compare it to the rewrite I uploaded in Act One.

She had been on the dance floor with Margie. Unlike Laurie, she had not noticed the stranger entering the bar. Margie and she were just about to leave the floor when the slow dance started and Joe and Laurie had come to join them. Margie and she had decided to dance the slow dance together also. Angela had been looking at Joe, thinking that he wasn’t a bad dancer at all, when she heard the first shot, not really knowing what it was. Everything else was almost a blur of events that happened in a matter of seconds, but played over and over in slow motion in her head. She had looked over at the bar, but Jerome was no longer standing there. People stood up and began screaming. She saw a bald headed man walking towards them. It was then that she saw Joe throw Laurie to the floor, just as another shot rang out and ricocheted off the concrete walls. Both her and Margie had stood there stunned, not sure what was going on or what to do. “Get on the floor,” Joe had yelled at them again. Angela grabbed Margie's belt and started to pull her downwards. She was too late. Another shot, and blood spurted out of the back of Margie's shirt. She had been critically wounded. From the floor, Angela could see Joe headed towards the baldheaded man, and some of the other guys in the bar moved towards him also. Everybody else had ducked under tables. Laurie hadn't moved, the violent force of the throw to the floor had momentarily stunned her. If Joe had been twenty years younger, or perhaps even ten, he may have reached the gunman. But just as Joe was about to reach the bald headed man, the gun fired again, one more time, more blood, and Joe fell to the floor. It had been a direct hit, the bullet piercing his heart, and he was dead. Moments later he was lying lifeless in a pool of blood, Laurie and Angela both kneeling over his lifeless body, as Laurie used every skill she had to try and bring him back. It was to no avail. Several of the guys in the bar managed to tackle the bald headed man with the gun just a second later. But it was too late for Joe, and for Jerome who would die of his wounds an hour later, and for Margie who would never walk again.

As you can see it is quite a bit different if you go back and compare it to the rewrite. Is there any doubt in your mind which is more effective? And in the original pictures there was no blood. For this blog, I photoshopped it into the pictures. It was the same problem I ran across in Laurie & Dag. I had to somehow hint at Laurie having physical desires as well as her emotional ones, yet to even suggest that she might even have had such thoughts on The Sims 2 would have had the story yanked before you can say pomegranate.

Now there will be those who probably absolutely hate the epilogue in Laurie’s Wonderful Life. It is certainly filled with quite a bit of what I call the fantasy element. But let’s not forget that at it’s heart, it is not only a story about redemption it is first and foremost still a Christmas story. It’s not that you can’t write a Christmas story without some kind of fantasy elements, but I think the best ones do include it in one form or another. Certainly the original It’s A Wonderful Life movie did, and definitely the same goes for Charles Dicken’s Christmas Carol so how can you argue with success? The only thing I can say is that if it wasn’t your cup of tea pretend that the epilogue doesn’t exist and that Laurie wakes up and everything that happened to her was just her dreams just as I guess Oz was supposed to be when Dorothy woke up (movie version). Still, when I wrote those last few lines added to the picture of Joe standing next to Laurie and Bettie, even I got choked up a bit. I had brought all of these characters to life, and at that point it was over.

So where does that leave me and where does that leave this blog. I have a couple of stories in mind that I could write. But it would take a lot of time and effort. I’m perfectly willing to give it that if I feel there will be at least a few people out there not only wanting to read it but with the patience to wait in between story chapters which because of other things I have going on. It could take several weeks to complete each one. Remember, unlike these stories that were already written, I would be writing anything new from scratch including setting up the Sims game for the story and shooting new pictures. The one advantage I would have in posting to this blog is that I wouldn't have to take so many repetitious pictures. For instance, because of the way the Sims story telling interface is designed, you have to have a picture for every single very short page. So when there is something like a conversation between two characters, you may have to have five or six different pictures of that conversation whereas for this blog you would probably only need one.

I guess that’s where that little survey comes in that I have posted in the right hand column. A lot depends on it, not so much as to what the answers are but as a way to gage how many are actually reading these stories or have read them. I can post stuff on Clyde’s Place and it doesn’t matter as much that there may not be anybody reading if at all. I can write for it at my leisure when I want and when I feel like it. But writing these stories is a bit different and to put the kind of effort into it that it would take to get going again, I have to know that there are enough people reading to encourage me to do so. So the only thing I can say is we’ll see, but it doesn’t look hopeful. In all the stories I have received comments from two people in the comments section (three if you count someone promoting a porn site) and one of them was related. I have received exactly three emails in regards to the stories and that’s it whereas when Laurie & Dag were at the height of their popularity on Sims 2, I was receiving several emails a day and hundreds of comments on my Sims page. Those are not good numbers especially when you consider that I can write a five paragraph story about American Idol for Clyde's Place and get my Inbox flooded. So if you have read or are in the process of reading, please take the survey or write to me at Clydesplace@gmail.com.

And finally, I want to thank each and every one of you who have read these stories or are in the process of doing so. I do hope that you enjoyed them and I hope that in some small way they may have touched you because in the end, that’s all that really matters to me. Whatever happens in the future, at least I have once again given these three stories a home, one I hope they can have for a long long time. Thanks again.

Clyde

Laurie's Wonderful Life Act Three: You've Really Had A Wonderful Life

(Author's Notes: Sorry for the time it took to get this third act up, but there was a lot rewriting I wanted to do on it along with other things. Since I've been using a lot of space up for the pictures I had to reformat the ones for the last part by reducing their size a bit. I imagine eventually if I keep writing Sim stories I will have to pay for more storage space.
Thank you for your patience.

If you are new to the story you will probably want to go back to the beginning. You'll find all the links necessary to do so in the right hand column of the blog. While it is not entirely necessary to go back and read The Kid & Me or Laurie and Dag, everything that happens in Laurie's Wonderful Life Act III connects to events in those two stories. So you will probably be quite puzzled as to whom some of the characters are. So you might keep that in mind if you do start reading from here.

This of course is based on Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life which starred Jimmy Stewart. Other than the basic premise however, you will note that the two story lines have little else in common. This tale is much harsher and often darker at times. I did manage to pay homage to that film with a few sly references in the previous part, and I paid homage to other films of the same nature throughout. So if you're a fan of that film, you'll be able to spot some of those easily. In this third act, there is also a little bit of Dickens thrown in which was done for my convenience more than anything else and to help make the story a lot less involved than the long scenario I would have had to paint if I had gone in the other direction.

Now comes the important part. You will come to a part of the story where it is necessary to play a video. I have decided that this is the best way to acheive the desired effect. Previously I had just printed the words to the song, but when I wrote it originally we didn't have you tube and all of it's clones. I think the video makes that partiuclar part of the story much more touching and maybe a little less cheesy, but only just a little bit. So when you reach that part of the story, please play the video. If you can't watch it for some reason (dial up modem) please let me know and I will send you the name of the song and the words. At any rate, please note that this story is not recommended for anyone under the age of thirteen. In a few days, I will have a few thoughts regarding the writing of the story just as I did with the previous two stories. Thanks for stopping by and thanks again for reading. Please feel free to write me at my new address at clydesplace@gmail.com.)

Act III
You've Really Had A Wonderful Life

Not only did the flash of lightening blind Laurie, but it knocked her backwards into a sitting position. She had quickly stuck her hand out to brace herself for the fall against the hard cement, but to her amazement it wasn’t the hard concrete of the patio where she had landed. It was the damp moist grass of the lawn. She shook her head quickly, trying to get her bearings. Instead of looking down from the patio, she was now looking up at where the second floor landing should have been but it was no longer there. Worse than that, the yard she had landed in belonged to a house that Laurie was completely unfamiliar with. Susan simply stood in front of her with her arms crossed as if to say, “See, that’s what you get.”

"Jesus Christ! You scared the hell out of me!" Laurie exclaimed as she pulled herself into a standing position.

“That will be quite enough of that young lady,” Susan told her sternly. “Unless you want to spend the whole evening walking around with a bar of soap permanently attached to the roof of your mouth. And don’t think for one second it won’t happen.”

Laurie started to open her mouth to say it was her goddamn dream and she would do whatever the hell she wanted in her goddamn dream but the look on Susan’s face stopped her. Laurie decided that whatever this particular dream was about it would quickly turn into a horrendous nightmare if she didn’t mind her p’s and q’s.

“Were all those fireworks really necessary?” Laurie asked. “It’s not like you’re David Copperfield for crying out loud.”

"And just where do you think David Copperfield gets his best ideas from?" Susan retorted. "Really Laurie, you're such a skeptic about everything. But then you always have been,” Susan sighed.

Laurie ignored her. "Okay, now that you've got me here, where exactly is here?"

"Look around, Laurie. This is what used to be your house. We haven't gone anywhere at all."

"What? This run down old place?,” Laurie scoffed. “I think that lightning bolt messed up your compass or jarred your brain. And what do you mean by used to be?"

"Laurie, you don’t have a home anymore. You’ve never been born. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Laurie laughed.

“Okay, now I get it. I came home from work, everybody was watching It’s a Wonderful Life, I told Suzie angels didn’t exist so now I’m having this dream because of the guilt feelings I’m having in my subconscious. In that case, I’ll just sit this one out until it’s time to wake up. The next thing I know you’ll be telling me that every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings. By the way, mother, sorry I couldn’t dream up some wings for you. Guess you’ll have to earn them like Clarence” Laurie said sarcastically.

Susan closed her eyes and looked skyward. “This is going to be tougher than I thought, Michael.”

She turned back to Laurie and jabbed her finger into her chest. “Look young, lady. It’s like this. Mortals see us and paint us as they want to see us. If they paint a picture of us with wings, then we have wings. If they make a movie about us, then we have wings. And if Frank Capra wants to tell the world in a movie that every time a bell rings one of us gets wings and it makes people happy to believe that than so be it. But you keep it up with the negativity and you’ll be spending some down time in the land down under. And I’m not talking about cocktails with Crocodile Dundee in Australia!”

Laurie rubbed her chest where Susan had been jabbing her finger. “Okay! Sorry! But how could this have been my house? There’s no patio, there’s no fountain and it’s deserted.”

“You're going to find things are quite a bit strange and different, Laurie. Look around. Didn't a pond used to be over there in the corner of the yard where that big brown hole is? Isn’t that where Joe put the fountain in when the pond dried up?"

Laurie walked over to the brown, barren somewhat circular spot. She had been very young when the pond had dried up completely. And if this was her house, then the location would be about right. But to her it all meant nothing.

"So?," she hollered back to her mother. "This is supposed to mean something? Lots of people have ponds that go dry on them, especially out here where we live. If this is my house where's the second floor landing? Where's the patio?"

Susan sighed. "That’s because there is no landing. The upper floor was in the process of being remodeled when you were born . The work was never completed. There wasn’t any reason for it to be"

It didn't make any sense to Laurie, but her dreams seldom did. The yard and house did look familiar in a lot of ways. But it had obviously been years since anyone had done any real yard work although it was obvious that someone had been there to do it occasionally in a hap hazard manner. The grass was more yellow than the manicured green wave that their lawn had always been. And besides, this house had a stone fence. As far back as Laurie could remember they had always had the All-American, Leave it to Beaver, Ozzie and Harriet white picket fence and the house had been covered with a light blue aluminum siding.

"I'm going inside," she told Susan.

Laurie reached the door and began yanking on the handle. It was locked.

"It's locked," she told Susan.

"It's not locked, Laurie, you just have to know how to do these things." She stepped in front of Laurie, turned the handle and the door opened easily.

"Show off," Laurie told her.

"Well, maybe just a little bit, Laurie." Susan grinned.

Laurie looked around. There was no doubt that the house was similar in many aspects.
When she looked through the doorway there was a pool but it held no water and looked like it hadn’t been used in ages. There were still stairs leading to the upstairs, but they appeared rickety and Laurie had no inclination to test them. And besides all of that the recreation room was much smaller than that in her own home.

She turned back towards Susan. “This doesn’t make any sense at all,” Laurie said. “Even if this weren’t a dream and it were true, there would still be Dag, and my brothers and sisters.

Before Susan could offer a reply to that a look of concern suddenly came over her face.

"Somebody's coming," she said. "We have to get.....uh oh, too late."

"Don't be ridiculous, this place is obviously abandoned," she started to tell Susan. But she had no sooner pointed her finger at her than Susan was no longer standing there.

"Hey! Get back here! You can't leave me here alone, mother!," she yelled. "This is my dream and I order you to reappear." But it was no use. Susan had gone.

"This is just great," she muttered.

True to Susan's word though, Laurie heard someone trying to open the front door. She wasn't sure whether to run out the back door or to go greet them.

"Well, it's a dream," she thought. "I Certainly I can't get hurt in a dream can I?. Might as well confront this one head on."

"This is getting ridiculous," she muttered to herself as she walked toward the front of the empty house.

She had no sooner reached the front door when it suddenly opened and there stood Bettie, who when upon seeing Laurie, promptly let out a blood curdling scream.

“Who….who…are you?” Bettie asked nervously. “What do you want? There’s nothing here! I don’t have any money on me.”

“Mom, it’s me, Laurie” she said walking torwards her. “Don’t you know me?” Laurie knew it was dark but surely her own mother could recognize her. She still had good eyesight for someone her age.

“Don’t come any closer!,” Bettie said. “I’ve got some mace and I’ll use it if I have to.”

“Don’t you recognize me, mom. It’s me! It’s your daughter, Laurie.”

Bettie squinted her eyes in the dark as if trying to see better. “I have no children! You’re crazy! Now get out of here before I call the police!”

“I am your daughter! You adopted me when my real mother died! You and your husband, Joe! And Dag! You adopted Dag also! Where is Dag?”

“Look young lady, I don’t know who you are. I’ve never set eyes on you. As for Joe Baker, he put Dag up for adoption years ago. So whatever you’re trying to pull, you should at least have gotten your facts straight.”

Laurie was not about to be put off. “You did marry Joe Baker, and this is our house!” Laurie persisted. “He died just six months ago. He was shot? Don’t you remember?”

“If you’re talking about Joe Baker, he’s been dead for over twenty years after drinking himself to death. He left me this house and I’ve never sold it. I didn’t have the heart to.”

“No!” Laurie screamed. “Joe Baker is alive! He has to be! And where’s Dag? You said she’s alive! Where is she?” She yelled grabbing Bettie by the collar. Total fear came over Bettie’s face. She was dealing with an absolute crazy woman.

“I tell you I don’t know. I only knew the child for a few months before Joe put her up for adoption Now leave me alone!” And with that statement, Bettie’s arm came up, Laurie heard the sound of a spray just as the mist entered her eyes causing them to burn profusely. “My Eyes!” Was all she could say as her hands went up instinctively to try and protect them. She was blinded and felt Bettie shove past her and heard the beeping sound of a cell phone.

“Police! Help!,” She heard her say. “There’s a crazy woman trying to kill me!”

Laurie took her hands away from her eyes. She could see but just barely. Everything seemed blurry and her eyes were watering like crazy. She could make out the door just enough to run out of the house and ran blindly down the street several hundred feet before stopping to recoup her vision. The watering of her eyes had helped to clear them, especially since Bettie’s aim had not been as true as it might have been. But her vision had no sooner returned then she heard the sounds of police sirens and could see flashing lights approaching in the distance.

Dream or no dream, Laurie figured it was time to go elsewhere and she knew exactly where she needed to go.

If she had never been born, her father would still be alive. Bettie had been lying to protect him. Yeah, that was it. She had thought Laurie was a nut case so of course she wouldn’t have told her where Joe was. Better yet, the reason Susan didn't reappear to her was because she couldn't. Laurie knew if she'd never been born her mother would now be alive somewhere. She would no longer be an angel, a ghost, or even the reincarnation of Jacob Marley.

By the time she reached the cemetery, Laurie was out of breath from running and had finally slowed down to a walk. Thankfully, the gates were unlocked which meant she wouldn't have to climb the brick wall which enclosed the cemetery. She immediately walked over to the grave where her father's tombstone should have been.

But as she approached the tombstones, she knew immediately that there was something terribly wrong.


Her sister Emily's tombstone was there and looked the same as it had earlier that day. Her father's tombstone had not vanished. It too was there, only it looked much older and more worn. It showed exactly what Bettie had told her. Joe Baker had died twenty years earlier. Most startling of all was the fact that there was now a third tombstone. She looked over and read the inscription.

SUSAN PENDLETON DALE
MY BEST AND DEAREST FRIEND

“This is nuts!” Laurie yelled. “My mother never had a grave marker! She was cremated and had her ashes scattered. She’s alive! She’s alive I tell you.” Laurie fell down to her knees and looked at the tombstone again, hoping against hope that she had been mistaken. But she hadn’t. And what did it matter? It was all a dream wasn’t it? Things like this only happened in stories, on TV and at the movies. Yet, Laurie began to sob and she didn’t know why when she felt a soft hand on her shoulder. Laurie knew who the hand belonged to without looking and stood to face Susan.

“You’re going to find things have changed quite a bit, Laurie. I tried to tell you that but you just wouldn’t listen.”

“But you should be alive. You only died so I could be born. They would have treated your cancer and saved you!”

Susan shook her head. “Laurie, you’re right. I never was pregnant and I did undergo the treatment. But the fact that I wasn’t pregnant changed everything.”

“I don’t understand,” Laurie said trying to wipe away her tears.

“Laurie, when I became ill I didn’t want to contact Joe because he would have talked me into giving you up to save myself. I still became ill, but since I was no longer pregnant I called Joe and he came to help me through my illness.”

“And you were cured.”

“No Laurie. I wasn’t. There was never a guarantee of success even if I did undergo treatment. Instead, I simply lingered on and on for several years and in the end……”
Susan didn’t finish. She only looked sad and Laurie knew then what had happened.

“But what about Bettie? What about Dag? What about my sisters?”

“Laurie, I didn’t know about Dag, and I surely didn’t know what had transpired between Joe and Bettie. I’m sorry, Laurie. If I had known, I never would have gotten in touch with Joe. In order to devote himself to helping me recover, he put up Dag for adoption and Bettie went away to college. I thought letting him bury me here would bring him some measure of comfort. Instead it had just the opposite effect and he began to drink until his liver began to go and his heart could handle it no longer.”

“NO!” Laurie screamed at her. Dad loved Bettie. And he loved Dag. He wouldn’t have given them up.”

Susan didn’t answer. “No Laurie. Not like he did later. That love was never given time to grow the way it should have. And what does it matter to you anyway, Laurie? Why should you care what happened to Bettie?”

“How can you say something so cruel, Mother? You know I love her with all of my heart.” Laurie said angrily.

“You have a fine way of showing it, Laurie.” Susan replied sternly. “All of these months that Joe has been gone and she has cried herself to sleep at nights. She wakes up during the night and reaches for him and he isn’t there. After everything she has given you, after all the years she has loved and cared for you, you weren’t there for her the one time when she really needed you. You were too busy wallowing in your own self pity.”

Laurie could only bow her head in shame. She knew Susan was right. “Don’t you understand, mother?” Laurie said through her tears. “I do know the pain she is going through. I hear her crying into her pillow at night, and I can’t comfort her. Each time I hear her I think that it is me who has done this to her. I’m the one who caused her this pain. And when I hear her cry and I see in her eyes how much she misses Dad, a part of me dies every day because it was my selfishness that has hurt the one person who has done more for me than any anybody ever could. I love her so much, and I can’t live with the fact that I’ve done this to her. I don’t know what to do! “ Laurie chest heaved in big heavy sobs and for the first time Susan put her arm around her comforting her.

“Why does she keep the house now?” Laurie asked.


”The reason Bettie was at the house is because she goes there often to dream of what life for her could and should have been. Even though Joe sent her away to college, he was always her one great love. It was a love that he never knew existed. So she never married and lives alone. Look over here, Laurie.”

Susan guided her to where Arcadia's grave had been. Now there were three tombstones there also.

“Both your Grandpa Frank and Nick are gone, Laurie. When Arcadia passed away, your grandfather died of a broken heart because Joe wasn’t there to help him through it. Nick was killed in Iraq.”

“You’re lying!” Laurie yelled at her. “Uncle Nick came home from Iraq and married Allison. They had a son, Matthew!”

“Nick did return from the war, but Bettie had gone off to college the year before and was studying in Paris when he returned home. She wasn’t there to help him through that troubling time . Instead Nick volunteered to go back to Iraq because he felt he had abandoned some the guys who needed him. He was killed by a suicide bomber a month later.”


Tears began streaming down Laurie’s face again. It was all much more than she could handle.

"Please, get me out of here," Laurie pleaded. "I don't want to be here. It's all just a dream anyway."

"Laurie, I'm not going to argue that point with you any longer. Whether this is a dream or whether it is real doesn't matter. What is important is that in some way, it's quite amazing how one life can touch so many others. It's important that you understand that. But I'll do as you wish. There's a restaurant across town where we can go have a cup of cappucino. Let's go there and get out of this night air."


Laurie took out her cell phone and began to dial.

"What are you doing?" Susan asked her.

"I'm calling us a taxi. It's too cold out to walk."

"There's no need for that. There's already a taxi on the way."

Susan turned to walk out of the cemetery with Laurie following close behind. Laurie didn't bother to look back at the graves. There was no way that any of this could be real. Even if she couldn't awaken yet, she would soon and everything would be back as it was.

They had no sooner exited the gates when just as Susan had said, a taxi pulled up. By now, Laurie was beginning to take such events for granted. They quickly walked over to the taxi and climbed in.

"Where to ladies?" the driver asked.

"Harry's Place, do you know where it's at?" Susan asked.

"Sure do," the driver replied. He put the car in gear and raced off down the street, while humming Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.

"Do you have to hum that?" Laurie asked him. The last thing she wanted to hear right now was a Christmas Carol. She had thought not being born would make things better but now she felt worse than ever.

"You got something against Santa Claus, lady," the driver retorted.

"Don't mind her, Charly. She's just having a bad night."

"Oh, I see. I guess I should have figured that, Susan, what with you being here and all."

Laurie sighed. She thought to ask how they knew each other but decided no explanation they had would possibly satisfy her. Instead Charley continued across town, no longer humming about Santa Claus. This time it was Rudolph, The Red-nosed Reindeer and Laurie kept quiet. She didn't want to be asked if she had something against reindeers.

Charly dropped them off and sped away without even asking for a fare. "No charge," he had said.

Harry's Place was not only a restaurant, but there was a night club on the upper floor. Like every other business in town, the outside of the building reeked of Christmas.

"What is this, the North Pole?" Laurie asked sarcastically.

"That will be quite enough of the sarcasm, Laurie. Do you see any snow? Of course not. Do you see a jolly fat man in a red suit? No, you don't. So of course this isn't the North Pole."

"Well, whatever it is, it looks like you're out of luck on the cappucino. The restaurant is closed and I doubt that they'll have any upstairs at the bar."

"Well, we can try can't we?" Susan said. "Don't be so pessimistic." She started toward the nightclub entrance and as she had done all evening, Laurie followed.


Upstairs they walked quickly past the dance floor. Laurie ignored the couples who were supposed to be dancing to the tune of Silver Bells. Laurie had never seen anyone dance to a Christmas Song before unless it was Jingle Bell Rock. Then again, the couples dancing looked like they had something on their mind other than the latest dance steps.

There was one blond headed guy sitting at the end of the bar. Laurie and Susan picked out a couple of bar stools at the other end.

"What can I get for you?" the barmaid asked Susan.

"Well, I was hoping for a nice hot cup of cappuccino," Susan replied.

"Well, you'd have to go to the restaurant for that," the barmaid replied. "Want to try for something else."

"Well, I was hoping for the cappuccinos. I guess I'll settle for a cup of warm milk."

"Look, miss, this is a nightclub, not the Dairy Queen, and this isn't Little House on the Prairie and I'm not Pa Ingalls. We serve drinks to people that want to forget their troubles and have a good time. I do have coffee for those that want to sober up at the end of the night."

"Well, if that's all you have then I'll settle for coffee." Susan sighed.

"What about you?" the barmaid asked Laurie.

"Rum and coke," Laurie replied quickly.

"Hey there, Merry Christmas," the fellow at the end of the bar said to Laurie.

"I suppose so," Laurie replied curtly. "Although I have no clue as to what there is to be merry about."

"Oh, having a bad holiday," the guy said. "Well, I won't hold that against you. We all have them from time to time. My name is Vince. Let me buy your drinks for you."

Laurie didn't answer him as the waitress brought their drinks, but Susan suddenly decided to become talkative.

"That's very nice of you, Vince," she said. "Merry Christmas to you, too. Don't mind Laurie. She's got the dreaded Scrooge disease."

Vince paid the bartender for the drinks then walked over towards them. Laurie turned around not to see what Vince wanted but to try and find a way to get rid of him.


"Would you care to dance?" he asked. "It might help you take your mind off of things."

"Look Vince, I'm sure you're a nice guy. But all I want to do is have my drink and wake up."

Vince looked puzzle. "I've never heard of rum and coke waking anyone up. If anything, a few of those and you'll be in la-la land especially the way Sylvia mixes them."

"Don't mind my daughter," Susan said. "She's not herself these days."

"Your daughter?,” Vince said looking shocked. “How old are you? You look like your not a day older than thirty yourself."

"Well, I was thirty seven when I died." Susan answered. "But in heaven they let us look whatever age we choose. So you're right. I chose thirty. It's a nice round number."


Vince’s mouth opened as if he were a codfish. Laurie could see trouble on the horizon and decided to get Vince away from Susan before he called someone to have her locked up.

"Come on Vince, I'll dance with you." she said grabbing his hand and leading him towards the dance floor.

"Uh...your friend is a little whacky there, isn't she?" Vince replied.

"Oh she's harmless," Laurie replied. "Wouldn't hurt a fly. One dance though and then we're out of here."

"Sure, whatever you say," Vince laughed.

They had reached the dance floor and it was then that Laurie instantly recognized one of the dancers. The problem was, he sure was doing a lot more than just dancing. There on the floor was Kurt Miller, lip-locked with a bleached blonde bimbo in a pink dress.


"KURT! JUST WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Laurie yelled at him.

"Do you know him," Vince asked.

"Yes I do," Laurie replied quickly. "KURT MILLER, I ASKED YOU WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

This time Kurt stood up and looked at her in puzzlement.

"I'm kissing my girlfriend, what do you think I'm doing and what business is it of yours," he asked.


Laurie walked over to him and poked her finger pointedly in his chest.

"Because you're married to my best friend Gail and she's about to have your baby. And until this moment I thought you were my friend. How could you do this?"

"MARRIED!," The blonde exclaimed. "You didn't tell me you were married!"

"I'm not married,” Kurt protested loudly. I've never been married and I’ve never seen this bitch before in my life. Look lady obviously you have me mixed up with someone else. The only Gail I know is the one I went to high school with. I haven't seen her in years."

"Gail Lyons! I know you went to high school with her. I was there! You started dating her when you came home from college and studying architecture. You and I dated in high school. Don’t even try to say you don’t remember that."

“Architect? My mother’s an architect and she wanted me to become one. But that was her idea not mine. And if we went together in High School I'd certainly remember you......whatever your name is."

"Quit horsing around, Kurt. You know damned good and well my name is Laurie Cut the bull crap.”


"Well, Laurie," he sneered. "Now that I get a better look at you, you must have been quite the catch when you were in high school. Come to think of it, I do remember us getting it on. It just slipped my mind. Why if you'd get some contact lenses, fixed your hair a little bit and wear something a bit sexier, you’d still be quite the catch. What do you say we relive some of the good old days?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Kurt. You know contact lenses irritate my eyes. I haven't worn them since high school."

"Well I won't hold that against you, baby. Now as I was saying, why don’t we relive some of those high school memories." He said holding out his hands and reaching towards Laurie.

"Forget it Kurt. I didn’t sleep with you then and I’m sure as hell not going to sleep with you now.” Laurie said angrily.

"Come on, baby," Kurt pleaded ignoring the girl he had been dancing with. “It’s not like you have a patent on that thing.”

"Don't be ridiculous, Kurt. You know damn good and well that I'm a lesbian and I don't appreciate what you're doing one bit."

"Lesbian!" Laurie heard Vince say. "Boy did I dial a wrong number!"



"What a waste,” Kurt said reaching toward Laurie's face to caress her once again. The blonde he had been smooching earlier continued to stand seething, but it was obvious to Laurie that Kurt could have cared less.

It's never too late to change your ways, Laurie! One night with me and you'll be converted forever."

Laurie brushed his hand away. "Stop it Kurt. Obviously you're drunk or something. I'm leaving, and if you think I won't tell Gail what you've been up to you can forget it."



"Oh yeah, well let me show you what you'll be missing."

"Oh yeah, well miss this!" Laurie said slapping him full across the face. Although it momentarily stunned him, for Kurt it only meant that Laurie was more of a challenge.

"Feisty little witch, aren't you?" Kurt sneered. "Good. I like my girls feisty and the sex rough.”

Laurie started to shove past him but before she could take a step, Kurt quickly grabbed her and pulled Laurie to him. He was still as strong as he had always been, and pinned her arms so she couldn't move.

Kurt quickly covered her mouth with his, while at the same time trying to insert his tongue into her mouth. She clinched her teeth together and tried turning her face away from his. But the more she tried the tighter he held her her. Laurie tried looking towards the bar, hoping her mother would rescue her, but she could not see Susan. She was going to knee him in the groin, but Kurt had pinned her legs in such a way that she could get no leverage. Then almost magically she felt Kurt's grip loosen and it had nothing to do with Susan's heavenly powers.



Out of nowhere appeared a little old lady, who may have been small in stature but swung a mean purse.

"Let her go you brute!" she hollered at Kurt while at the same time smacking him across the face with her bag. As she continued to smack Kurt around, his grip on Laurie loosened just enough to allow her to slide out and race toward the stairway. She glanced back just long enough to see the old woman swing her purse once again only this time it landed in a very sensitive spot just below Kurt's waist causing him to double over in pain.

"Now try that again, and I'll do more than hit you with a purse," the old lady was saying.

"Geez Lady," Kurt groaned. "What do you have in that thing-rocks?"

She swung the purse and hit Kurt again.

"No, but I've got a nice butcher knife in here and if I ever catch you forcing yourself on a young woman again, I'll make you more famous than that Bobbitt fellow ever was. You’ll be back singing in the Vienna Boy’s Choir."


When Laurie reached the outside of Harry's Place, Susan was no where to be found.

"Okay, mother, I know you’re here somewhere!" she yelled.

"There's no need to yell, Laurie."

Laurie turned around to see Susan standing on the sidewalk.

"How did you like my little old lady disguise?" Susan asked grinning.

"That was you?" Laurie asked. "I guess I should have known. Thanks for your help."

"No problem this time, Laurie. I can't keep getting you out of trouble though so watch your step from here on out. Try to remember that things are not going to be the way that you remember them. But are you convinced yet that this is not a dream?"

Laurie didn't answer her. "What's going on? Why would Kurt do such a thing? Even if I wasn’t here and he never knew me, Kurt would never force himself on a woman like that."

"Laurie, as we go through life we touch the lives of so many others. Sometimes it's in very small ways, and at other times we have a deep and lasting impact. The influence you had on Kurt was immeasurable. Without you there to be his friend, Kurt hung around with Chuck most of the time for a couple of years. He went along to get along, and in time became more like Chuck in a lot of ways by the time he graduated from high school. The difference is that Kurt became a successful businessman, and had no use for Chuck either after a couple of years of being successful. The only thing Kurt sees in people now is how useful they are to him in order for him to attain his goals of power, wealth, and hedonism."

"But surely Kurt had other influences. His parents were good people. He couldn't have turned out this way just because I wasn't there."

"Laurie, there are many people who influence our lives. Sometimes it takes a combination of many different people to make us who we are. It's like a jig saw puzzle. The picture can't become complete if all the pieces aren't there. The time you spent with Kurt during those years in high school completed one picture. Since you weren’t there and Chuck was, it made a different picture altogether."

"What about my sister, Dag. Surely things still worked out for her. She would have been adopted by a good family. Joe would have seen to that. I want to see Dag! Take me to see her." Laurie pleaded.


"I can't Laurie. She lives very far away in another state."

"Then use your voo-doo, magic or whatever it is. Twitch your nose like Samantha! Do something! I have to know Dag is okay!"

"I’m an angel, Laurie. I don’t twitch any part of my anatomy and I really am not supposed to do things like that. It would be showing off," Susan said. "My boss wouldn't approve."

"Please, mother. Can't you ask him to make an exception, just this one."

Susan looked skyward for a moment, but said nothing.

"Michael says okay, but he's not happy about this. But he also says it'll keep you from getting into anymore trouble if we make ourselves less visible for now." She held out her hands.

"Take my hands, daughter," Laurie did as she was told. There was a quick flash of light as there had been on the patio hours earlier, but this time there was no lightning strike.


Instantly they were transported to the front of a home that Laurie had never seen before. It certainly wasn't the house that Glenn and Dag had bought when Dag had become pregnant with Eddie.

"Is this where she lives? Shouldn’t we knock on the door or something?" Laurie asked.

"And if Dag answers the door, then what?" Susan answered. “Do we pretend to be Jehovah Witnesses? Remember Laurie, you've never been born so she doesn't know you from Adam or Eve. We can go in, but they will be completely unaware of our presence. Just pretend you’re in a Dickens story and I'm the ghost of this that and the other or whatever and you’ll get the hang of it. Now come with me."

Susan walked into the house, passing through the door as if she were nothing more than a wisp of smoke. Laurie followed behind her going through the door as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her to be doing.

“Now that’s cool,” she told Susan once they were in the house.

Susan just looked at her and shook her head. “Please Laurie, let’s see what we came here to see.”

Once in the living room, Laurie saw a long haired man sitting on the sofa watching a football game on television. At first he was unfamiliar to her but as they walked around to see his face, there was no doubt in Laurie’s mind who it was. She had only met him once, but that one time they had met had been memorable for the whole family, and not in a very good way.

"Oh my God! It's Professor Asshole," Laurie said disgustedly. "I haven't seen him since that night Dag brought him home from college. Why are we here? Your compass must have screwed up again."

"No, Laurie. My compass didn't screw up and watch your language. We do have certain roles of decorum we are supposed to be following. And just for the record, I don't have a compass and I don’t need one to get around. I am not Christopher Columbus. We're right where you wanted to be. This is where Dag lives and Andy is her husband.”

"I think I'm going to be ill," Laurie said clutching her stomach. "Where's Dag, and what's burning?"

"I can answer both of those questions right now. Let's go into the kitchen."

In the kitchen, Dag was busy preparing spaghetti. At least she thought it was supposed to be spaghetti as it was hard for Laurie to tell exactly what it was supposed to be.

"What's she doing? She's burning it? Is she doing it on purpose? And where's the beef?" Laurie whispered.

"I told you Laurie that you don't have to whisper. They can't hear us or see us. No, unfortunately she's doing her best. It’s just that Dag is not a very good cook at all. As for the meat, Andy is a vegetarian if you'll recall," Susan chuckled.

"I think you've been hanging out in the clouds too long, mother. Dag is an excellent cook. We both are!"

"And who taught you how to cook, Laurie?"

"It was mom......" and without saying another word Laurie already had her answer. Since Dag had not been raised by Bettie, she had never learned to cook, at least in any way that it would be edible.

They watched as Dag quickly set the table and then called Andrew into the kitchen. Laurie and Susan heard the tv click off followed by Professor Andy entering the room.

“It’s about time, Dag,” Andrew said. “Where’d you go to fix that stuff, bum Egypt?”

“I’m sorry, Andrew honey,” Dag said. “There was a lot to do.”

“Well, better late than never. Would you be so kind as to get me a beer out of the fridge."

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Dag replied sheepishly. "But I didn't get any of your imported beer. They were out of it at the market and I know how much you dislike domestic beer."


“So why didn’t you just go to another store,” Andrew replied. “Geez, do I have to do all of your thinking for you? How hard could it be?”

“Well, the stores were about to close, and I had all those papers of yours to grade so I was late getting out. You said you needed them done by tomorrow.”

“You’ve got an excuse for everything, don’t you? I swear I have no clue as to why I married you.”

"I'll go out for it after dinner," Dag told him.

They sat down and began to eat. Andrew took one bite of his food and threw the fork down.

"Do you really expect me to be able to eat this slop," He said accusingly. "As long as it took you to fix it you would have thought you were fixing a three course meal in here."

"I tried, I really did," Dag replied. "I'm getting better at it. It'll just take some time."

"Well how much time do you need?" he asked. "Maybe you should try watching Martha Jailbird or Rachael Fat Ass. Sometimes I wonder how you even have sense enough to turn the stove off and on. At least you're doing better with your ironing. You've only burned one of my shirts this month."

Dag seemed to glow as if what Andrew had just said was a compliment.


"She's a regular Stepford Wife!" Laurie said without looking at Susan. "I thought that whole thing with Andrew was only temporary. Okay, this is really not my sister. She’s a clone or something. I knew that Dag was hung up on this jerk way back when for whatever reason, but she would never be this subservient to anybody."

"Don't be so judgmental, Laurie. You know what happened. Do you remember the events that transpired that night Dag brought Andy home for a visit? Of course, none of that happened. Dag was always a bit flighty growing up and had a tendency to get a bit starry eyed over guys at time. But since she was raised by another family, everything about her changed. When she would become infatuated with someone, Bettie was always there to bring her back down to earth. Then there’s the night that she brought Andy home. Surely you haven’t forgotten already?”

Laurie hung her head. She remembered the night as if it had been yesterday. Dag had acted pretty much in the same way she was behaving with Andy now.

“Since Bettie wasn’t there to put Dag in her place, and because you weren’t there to stand up to Andy that night, this is what happened. She still met him and fell in love. In the family that adopted her, the mother was quite submissive to her husband's every whim. They were nice enough people, but Dag’s new mother just didn’t have the strength that Bettie had. She was a good person, but a completely different type of role model.”

Andrew took another bite of his food. "I can't eat this slop!," he said getting up from the table. "

Dag followed him to the center of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Andrew. I'll take lessons or something. You won't have to eat it again."


"Why should I have to pay for you to take cooking lessons after all these years. Jeez...you can read a cookbook can't you. Anyway, I'm going out."

"Again!," Dag said softly. "Can't you spend one evening here with me."

"I have important meetings with the Dean at the college. You know that. And besides that I have to get the beer that you were unable to trouble yourself over. And why don't you try dressing yourself up a little. Make yourself a bit more presentable. Then maybe I'd want to stay home once in a while."

"She's dressed just fine and she looks beautiful," Laurie yelled at him. "What do you know about being beautiful when you look like a deranged sheep dog yourself you son of a bitch?"

“Laurie! I’m warning you for the last time!” Susan told her sternly. “Watch your language. Don’t waste your breath on him. He can’t see you or hear you.”

"Will you be late again?" Dag asked. "I was hoping we could talk about what I asked you the other night."

"No later than usual," Andrew answered as he hurried towards the door. "And what was it you asked the other night?

"You know, you said you would think about it. About us having a baby," Dag replied hopefully.


"You've got to be kidding! If we had a kid it would starve to death eating your cooking. Learn to cook and then we'll talk babies. Besides, I don't want some snot-nosed little brat running around here stinking up the place with his dirty diapers. And to top it off, you can't handle the work load you have now, let alone take care of a baby"

Andrew went out of the door slamming it behind him. He had no sooner done so than Dag burst into tears.

Laurie walked over to Dag and gently put her arm around her, not carrying that Dag couldn’t feel her presence.

"I'm sorry, Dag. I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen!" She said soothingly.

"I told you Laurie, she is unaware of our presence," Susan reminded her. "Besides it's not so bad. It could easily be much worse."

"Much worse?," Laurie said angrily. "How could anything possibly be much worse then this. Can't you see she's miserable?"

Susan walked quietly over to Laurie, placing her hand gently on Laurie's shoulder.

"Come with me, Laurie." In an instant, the flash of light appeared, and they were once again transported.


In the blink of an eye, they were standing in a child's bedroom. The wallpaper was old and dingy, and the wood beneath it was mildewed and stained where water had soaked through. There was a woman and a young child, and at first Laurie failed to recognize the woman. But when she spoke, she knew who it was immediately.

"Well, you've been really good this year. I think Santa can see his way to bringing you something. Only a few days left so you'll have to be on your best behavior, Sam."

Laurie instantly recognized the voice as that of her lifelong friend, Gail Lyons.

"It's Gail!," she said to Susan. "But she's never looked like that before in her life! She's always taken such pride in her appearance! What happened to her? And the boy's face, he reminds me of someone else I knew also. I just can’t place it."

"Just watch Laurie, watch and learn. Remember, she is no longer married to Kurt." Susan reminded her.

"Do you think one of these days we can have a Christmas tree," Sam asked as he climbed into his bed. "I've always wanted a Christmas Tree. Maybe that's why Santa doesn't come sometimes is because we don't have a Christmas tree or a chimney."

"Mayby one of these days, Sammy," Gail replied. "Next year, we'll see about getting a tree."

"That would be cool, mommmy. I love you mommy," Sam said as he pulled the blankets up over himself.

Sam's eyelids started to droop and Gail bent over to kiss him. "I love you too Sammy," she said. "Hopefully one of these days, things will be better."

Laurie watched as Gail left the darkened room and started to follow her until Susan grabbed her shoulder. "Wait a minute, Laurie. There's something you must see."



Sammy wasn't quite asleep and he began to talk groggily.

“God, please don’t let Daddy come home and start hitting mommy.” The child said from his bed. Then quickly drifted off to sleep.

Susan turned to Laurie. "Gail was able to buy Sammy a present this year because she hid some of her tip money from her husband. It's only a ten dollar plastic airplane, but to Sammy, it will be as precious as if Gail had spent a hundred dollars on it."

"Who could she have married to treat her and Sammy in such a way," Laurie asked as she quickly wiped away the tear that had fallen down her cheek.

Susan didn't say anything but motioned for Laurie to follow her into the living room where Gail was hurriedly straightening up.


At that moment the front door opened, and in walked Chuck Easterman. He was unshaven and drunk, and he smelled as if he hadn’t had a bath in days.

“Hey woman, get me a beer,” he hollered at her upon entering.

“We're out of beer, and if we had it you could get it yourself. I see you’re drunk again. As usual. Couldn’t you stay off the sauce just one night so we could get Sammy a tree for Christmas. Would it have killed you?"

"Nag, nag, nag! That's all you do."

"How could she do it? How could she have married him?," Laurie cried angrily as Chuck continued to berate Gail. "Did she have the baby and force Chuck to marry her?"


"No, Laurie. Sammy is much too young for that. But she didn't have the abortion either. If you remember, she said she would do something anything to keep her mother from having to help support a grandchild. She was quite desperate. She convinced Chuck to come over one more time, and threatened to ruin his college career if he didn’t take care of her or help her. They got into a big argument, one thing led to another, and he pushed her down the stairs causing her to lose the baby. Chuck claimed it was an accident, but to keep from going to jail he married Gail to keep her quiet. Several months later, just as he had done before, he blew out his knee. There never was any football career. When Marcella was alive, he stayed in line somewhat, and Gail always put the best light on things around her mother so as not to worry her. But Marcella was nobody's fool as she threatened more than once to put him in a jail cell if he hurt Gail. With Marcella gone, things have gotten steadily worse, especially since Sammy was born"

"Without you to lean on and support her Laurie, she had no one she could turn to. In a since, you and your family were always Gail's lifeline."

"You think you're too good for me?" Chuck was saying as he reached for Gail. "Come here and give me a kiss. Give me some of that good loving."

"Get your filthy hands off of me, you stinking drunk," Gail said as she tried to push Chuck away.

As soon as she had said the words Gail regretted them. They only served to make Chuck more persistent and a lot more angry.


"You'll do as I say if you know what's good for you, bitch," he said. "And with that he slapped her as hard as he could knocking her backwards to the floor. She layed there stunned, a trickle of blood seeping out of the corner of her mouth that she quickly wiped away with her tongue. He walked over and grabbed her by the arm, pulling the stunned Gail towards the couch.

"You ain't hurt, bitch" he slurred yanking her onto the couch and climbing on top of her.

"Please, Chuck! Don't do this to me! Not like this!," Gail said trying to push him off of her. “Sammy might wake up.”

"Shut up, and do as you're told," They watched as Chuck Began trying to kiss and grope Gail.

"I won't let you do this, Chuck. Not here. I'll Kill you if I have to," Gail yelled.


She continued to struggle, At one point she was able to push Chuck away from her but only breifly. Gail's fingernails scraped across his cheek drawing blood. It only angered Chuck more.

"I'll teach you," he said and with full force swung his fist, bring it solidly against Gail’s face thwarting her escape. He then began ripping away her clothing, and having removed Gail’s shirt, began to squeeze her breast until Gail screamed. Chuck only laughed.

"Dammit mother, help her!" Laurie screamed.

"I cannot interfere, Laurie," Susan said softly.

Laurie could stand it no more. She closed her eyes and grabbed her head as if somehow she could shut off her mind as to what was happening.

"Please mother, then get me out of here. Don't make me watch this! Please!"


Without saying a word, Susan quietly put her arms around Laurie as they were engulfed once again into the light.

"Why did I have to see that?" Laurie cried trying to wipe away her tears with little success. She would no sooner wipe one away then more would fall. She had never felt such shame and guilt in her entire life. Shame because she had spent the past six months wallowing in self pity, when so many people had needed her to be strong, the same people that had always depended on her. She had let them down, herself down, and most of all she knew she had let her father down.

"There was no other way," Susan said . "Yet, I'm still not convinced that you know how precious and meaningful life is and how much you have meant to so many people. To you, this is still just a dream, or maybe even a nightmare. But everything you have seen is real. Perhaps what you will see here will convince you.”

For the first time Laurie looked at her surroundings. The room they were in this time was instantly recognizable. It was the Hospital waiting room she had been in earlier that day.

"What are we doing here?" Laurie asked when she had finally wiped away the last of her tears.

"There's something I want you to see, Laurie. My time here is running out. Do you know those people over there?"

"Yes, I met them earlier before I performed surgery on their son. They’re Mason Washington's parents. I saved his life."

"Tell me, Laurie," Susan asked. "Why didn't you talk to them after the surgery?"

Laurie felt ashamed once again. "Because I was resentful. Their son was alive and my father was dead. Because I could save his life and could do nothing to save the life of my own father. It seemed so unfair."

"You're going to find that there a lot of injustices in the world that we can do nothing about, Laurie. Until the human race progresses past it's own inhumanity, there always will be. Then sometimes things may seem cruel and unfair to you, when actually there's very good reasons for why they happen even though we don't always understand why. Did you know that the Washington's once had another child, a girl. Her name was Rebecca and she died of leukemia at the age of five. And after Mason was born, they found out that Mrs. Washington could have no more children."

"No, I didn't," was all Laurie could manage to say. "But why are they still here, in the waiting room? They should be with their son or have gone home for the evening."

Susan didn't answer her.


It was at that moment that Dr. Rolf came walking dejectedly into the waiting room.

"I'm sure he's okay," Mr. Washington was saying, trying to calm his wife, although it didn't appear to Laurie that he was being very convincing.

In a matter of seconds, Jeremy Rolf had reached them, but he seemed unable to speak.

“My boy?” she said. “Will he be okay?”


Jeremy looked as if he was fighting back tears. “I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Washington. I did everything I possibly could. I guess....I guess......it just wasn't enough" and Jeremy could say no more.

And with that, Mason Washinton’s mother screamed and began to openly sob. “No, dear god, please, not my baby, not my baby boy. Please don’t take my baby boy!” Mr. Washington wrapped his arm about his wife, his own sobs coming in huge gasps.



"NO!," Laurie screamed accusingly at her mother. I saved that boy's life. You can't let this happen."

"Laurie, it's out of my hands. Think about it Laurie. How many lives have been lost because you wished you had never been born? The boy you were talking to Joe about that night at the Back Alley Cafe who had been shot during a drive by didn't make it either. And how many more lives could have been saved in the future? You have a skill and a gift that very few people have and you want to throw it away as if it were meaningless."

Laurie didn’t want to hear anymore. All she could do was sob.

Laurie looked up at her. “Where is Angela, mother? Take me to her? I don’t care what happens to me now as long as I know her and Suzie are okay. I’ll give up my life as long as I know they are happy. That’s all that matters.”






“Are you sure you want to know? Remember, you are no longer a part of Angela’s life.”

“Yes, mother. I have to know that Angela is okay. Please, take me to her.”

“Very well, Laurie. So be it.” She took Laurie’s hands once again, and with the flash of light they were instantly transported once again.






"Do you recognize this house, Laurie?"

"Yes, yes of course," she answered hurriedly. "It's mine and Angela's. It's our house in Los Angeles." The fact that Angela might be living in the same house had made her hopeful.

"The two of you were very happy here once, weren't you?"

"Yes, we were," Laurie said determined to fight back her tears. "But it looks exactly the same as when we lived in it. How could that be?"

"Everything will become come clear to you very soon."


And no sooner had Susan spoken than a car pulled into the driveway. In it were two passengers, a man and a woman.

"Who are they?" Laurie asked. "Who's living here?"

Susan didn't answer but motioned for Laurie to watch.




From around the driveway emerged the man and the woman. They woman was dressed in a beautiful blue evening gown, and the man was impeccably dressed in a suit. The woman had long coal black hair, but yet was instantly recognizable to Laurie.

"It's Angela! Who's she with? Is she living alone? I don't understand any of this."

"Just listen Laurie," Susan cautioned as Angela and the person she was with were speaking.

"Did you enjoy the play, darling. I know you've
been wanting to see it for a long time," the man said.

"It was excellent, Tony. Not quite as good as I had expected but it was okay. I know you went through a lot of trouble to get the tickets. I really don't deserve you."

"Sure you do," he answered smiling. "And just wait until you see what I have planned for you for Christmas."

"Whatever it is, I know it will be special," she replied. "It always is."

Tony and Angela walked up to the front porch.

They paused for a moment before going in.

"Have I told you that you look beautiful, today?" Tony asked.

"Oh, at least a hundred times," Angela replied.

"If I could have a painting of you made right now, standing in the moonlight, I would cherish it forever," Tony told her. "I love you so much, Angela darling."

And without saying another word, he took Angela into his arms, and kissed her passionately. And she returned the kiss.


"I thought you said this wasn't a dream?," Laurie told Susan accusingly. "Well, this proves once and for all that it is. Only a dream could be this screwed up. You know as well as I do that Angela is gay and nothing, absolutely nothing can change that. And the house is completely the same. What are the chances of that?"

Susan's patience was wearing thin. "Laurie, I told you not to judge anything by first appearances. Look at this house. It is exactly the same as when Angela and you lived here because it was Angela that picked the house out, just as it was Angela that decorated it. And just as you did, Tony let her decorate it. It's only logical that it would be the same. Everything else will become clear to you before this night is over with."

Tony and Angela had gone into the house, Susan and Laurie followed seconds later.


"Angela, darling. Have you given anymore thought to what we talked about in the car?" Tony was saying.



"Yes, Tony. I have. And I've come to a decision. You're right. I've been totally unfair to you. You've always been so good to me in every way possible and I know I've not always been deserving of it. So, the answer is yes. We'll have a child."

Tony grabbed her and pulled her to him. His eyes began to moisten up.

"You don't know how happy you've just made me," he told her quietly. "I've been wanting us to have a family for so long but because of what happened in your past that you won't talk about, I didn't want to pressure you. I wouldn't want to have children if it meant losing you."


Tony kissed her.

"I don't know what's going on," Laurie said. "But he seems to love her very much and he seems to be very good to her."

"He does love her, Laurie. With all of his heart just as Kurt loved you once. And Angela knows that. But haven't you noticed something, Laurie. Something about Angela."

"I'm not sure I know what you mean,” Laurie replied. She was quite puzzled.

"Since we've been here, have you seen her smile at all?"

Laurie thought about it. Susan was right. Angela had not smiled or even hinted at a smile since arriving home with her husband.

"I'm really very tired after the long day at the office and then dinner and the play," Tony told her. "I'm going on to bed. Are you coming with me?"

"No, I'm a little wound up still. I think I'll stay up and watch television for a while. And tomorrow we'll get started working on that family. I promise."

Tony gave Angela another quick kiss good night, and then went into the bedroom. When Angela turned around she looked even more sad.

"She's not happy," Laurie said. What's wrong.

"Angela is very troubled, Laurie. Just watch."

Instead of turning on the TV, Angela took a book down and began to read. All Laurie could do was stand and watch.

"Angela does this often. Sometimes after Tony goes to bed, she'll read and at other times she'll watch TV. It's become somewhat of a ritual for her." Susan said.

After about half an hour, Angela put the book down and walked over to the bar.


They watch as Angela mixed herself a strong drink. Next, she pulled a bottle of pills out from under the counter, took several, then took a drink from the glass. She then took some more then took another drink. Laurie recognized the pills as being the same kind she had taken earlier to help her sleep, and had also been about to use to……….”

"Stop her!" Laurie asked Susan. “It’s dangerous to be taking that many especially with alcohol.”

"I told you Laurie. I am powerless to interfere. When you ceased to exist, everything changed and the events are what they are. The pills help her sleep. She's become extremely dependent on them. After a while she found out that having a few drinks with them would help her to sleep even more."

They watched as Angela took some more pills than another drink.

"That’s way too many! You have to stop her!" The alarm in Laurie's voice was unmistakeable.

"Laurie, you know as well as I do that with any drug, you only need a small amount. But the more you become dependent on them, the more of them you need for them to have any effect. Angela needs to forget, and it's the only way she can live with the pain."

"What pain? Forget what?" Laurie yelled. "What are you trying so hard not to tell me, mother?"

"She wants to forget about the pain she is causing Tony because she can't return his love. You were right, Laurie. Angela is consumed with guilt because she can't love this wonderful man who loves her so much and has given her so much. And the pills ease the pain of having to live her life in a disguise, of not being able to live her life the way she wants to."

"But why? Why can't she? She was always so strong."

This time it was Susan's tone who was accusatory.

"Because you weren't there for her Laurie. Yes, Angela was very strong and willful. But it was a strength that came from the love she had for you. It was the love that the two of you shared that made her able to stand up to her parents and be the person she was. It was that love which made her believe anything was possible and that someday she could love someone and find real happiness."

"Her parents did find out she was gay, when they happened on some gay web sites she had been visiting on the computer. Without that love that bound the two of you together for her to draw strength from, she couldn't stand up to them. They sent her to a degayification camp to cure her. But of course, all they did was make her feel dirty, ashamed and guilty about who she was so that she suppressed those feelings. She didn't marry Tony out of love, she married him because he was a good person and thought she could learn to love him just as you once thought you could learn to love Kurt. In essence, what has happened to Angela is what would have happened to you if you had married Kurt."

They watched as Angela walked over to the recliner, laid down in it, and in seconds she was asleep.

"It won't be very long, Laurie." Susan said softly.

"NO! This can't happen! Dammit Angela wake up," Laurie yelled at her. "Don't do this! Mother, do something. You can stop it if you want to. Help her! Take me in her place. She doesn’t deserve this. I love her. I can’t watch her die."

"It's out of my hands, Laurie. Some things are just meant to be."

"NO! This wasn't meant to be! We were meant to be together! I can't stand by and watch her die!"



Laurie grabbed Susan, her tears running freely down her cheecks.

"Please mother! Please! Take me home! I'm sorry! Please take me home! Don't let her die! I love her so much!"

"I'm sorry, Laurie. There is nothing I can do. My own memory of you is starting to fade because you've never been born. Soon I will be gone from here and you will remember me no more."

"NO! I was born! You are my mother! I can never forget you! Please forgive me!"

But it was no use. When Laurie looked up, Susan had disappeared.

She ran back over to Angela, who's breath had become dangerously shallow.

"Please, mother! Come back! Help me! I'm sorry! Please God, Please help me. I want to live again. I want to live again! I’m sorry."


Laurie buried her face in her hands, the sobs violently shaking her own body. Then suddenly she felt a familiar comforting arm around her.

"You really had a wonderful life, Laurie. It would be such a shame to throw it all away," a voice spoke to her softly.

"Oh dad! Help me! I'm so scared! Help Angela. Please!"


Joe wrapped his arms around her and drew her close to him.

“Laurie, I know this has been hard on you, but you must not blame yourself for what happened. I went with you that night because I wanted to. Being there, being able to save your life is the greatest thing I could have ever done in my life. Don’t mourn me any longer, be happy as I am and live your life to the fullest so that it will continue to mean as much as it always has. You have so much to give to so many people. And there are so many people who love you. Always remember that Laurie”

And when he finished speaking, Joe was no longer there. And once again Laurie was left alone.

"I'm sorry, dad. Please. Let me go home! Angela, I love you. Please don't die."


And as she sobbed, the room grew dark and cold. Laurie felt herself standing in an empty void. Then in seconds, there was another blinding flash of light, and she felt someone's hands on her shaking her violently.









"Laurie, wake up!" She heard Bettie's voice yelling at her. "Laurie, it's me. Your mother. Angela and Suzie are here. Please wake up!"

"Is Mommy Laurie going to be okay," Suzie cried.

"She's going to be okay, she's just having a nightmare," Angela said but in her heart she wasn't so sure. Bettie and her had even tried lifting Laurie into a sitting position to no avail. She was out cold.

Angela was on the verge of calling an ambulance, when suddenly Laurie began to stir and lifted herself groggily off of the bench.

"Laurie, are you okay? What happened, honey?" Bettie asked worriedly.

"Mom! Do you know me? Do you recognize me? Don't call the police?" Laurie yelled in a frightened tone.

"Laurie, of course I recognize you. And why would I call the police? We were about ready to call an ambulance."

Laurie climbed off of the bench, tears still streaming down her face.

"Oh mom! You do know me!"

"Of course, Laurie. You were just having a bad dream!"

"No mother, it wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream at all. It was all too real to be a dream. I wished I'd never been born, and than Susan came and made it so I wasn't born. You didn't recognize me, and everything was completely different. It was awful!"

"There, there Laurie. Sometimes bad dreams can seem real, but they are still dreams. But why would you wish something like that?"

"Because I thought it was my fault Dad was killed. That night we went to the bar, he didn't want to go and I talked him into it instead of letting him stay at the house. I thought if I hadn’t been so selfish and forced him to go he would still be alive. It’s my fault he isn’t here with you any more."

"And if he hadn’t gone, Laurie, chances are you or Angela would have been killed. I think if Joe was here he would say that saving your life was the greatest thing he ever could have done."


Laurie wrapped her arms around Bettie pulling her tightly to her.

"That's exactly what dad did say, mom. He was there also, but only for a moment. And that's what he told me. He held me in his arms and for the first time in a long time I felt safe and warm all over"

“I believe you, Laurie,” Bettie said softly. “And I know it’s been hard on you. Yes, I miss Joe. I will always miss Joe. But I would have missed you and Angela also. And if Joe hadn’t gone to the nightclub, think of how he would have punished himself thinking that if he had been there he might have been able to do something. So you see, there was a reason for Joe to be with you that night. It’s part of what life is and we learn to live with our grief and overcome it the best way that we can. So don’t blame yourself ever again for what happened.”

Laurie reached over and began to hug Angela. “Can you ever forgive me. I’ve been so awful to you and Suzie. I love both of you so much and I don’t ever want to lose you!”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Laurie. I didn’t understand the burden you were carrying around. I love you too. You and Suzie are my whole life. I don't know how I could live without you.”

“See, I told you there were really Angels!” Suzie said.

For the first time, Laurie smiled and grabbed Suzie up in her arms.

“Yes Suzie, there are angels! And they're here looking after all of us!”

“Geez, what’s all the commotion about,” Dag asked as she, Glenn and Veronica came out on the patio. “Doesn’t anybody around here sleep?”

Laurie couldn't help but laugh!

“Yes, Dag, for the first time in a long time, we’ll all be able to sleep!” was all Laurie told her. And with that she ran over and grabbed the startled Dag almost knocking her over and then hugged her her as tight as she possibly could.

“I’m so glad you didn’t marry Andy,” She told her.

“Andy? Andy? I haven’t thought of that creep in years. What made you think of him?”

“Never mind, sis. No reason at all,” Laurie replied and simply held Dag even tighter. “Merry Christmas, Dag” she whispered.

“Merry Christmas, Laurie. It’s good to have you back,” Dag replied softly as he own tears began to fall. Dag wasn't entirely sure she knew what was going on, but she knew that her sister was back and that was all that mattered. It would be a good Christmas after all.

Epilogue

Laurie was sleeping soundly and peacefully. She wasn’t dreaming of plumb bobs dancing in her head, in fact she wasn’t dreaming at all. But she certainly heard the voice by her bed, and the thumping of feet as the person they belonged to jumped up and down. She only hoped the voice by the bed would run off to watch television soon.


“Wake up, mommy,” Susie coaxed. “Wake up, mama! It’s Christmas Eve and Grandma says you have to get up because there's a lot of work to do before everybody gets here!"

Laurie and Angela tried not to stir.

It was Angela who felt Suzie's warm breath on her face.

"Are you awake yet?" Suzie asked.

"Yes, I'm awake," Angela replied groggily not opening her eyes.

"Are you sure? Grandma says that I can't leave the room until you are awake?"

"You can leave, Suzie. Tell Grandma, we're awake."

"If you're awake then let me see your eyeballs."

Angela flickered her eyes open. That seemed to satisfy Suzie.

As Laurie and Angela began to awaken, Suzie ran hurriedly out of the room back towards the stairs.

"Grandma! Grandma! They're awake! I saw their eyeballs!," they heard her yell.

"She may have seen my eyeballs, but I can't see out of them from this side very well yet," Angela yawned.

"I know what you mean. What time is it anyway?"

"Seven a.m. Oh heck, I'm laying back down," Angela made a move like she was going to get back under the covers.

"Oh no you don't," Laurie said pulling Angela up out of the bed and onto the floor. "If I have to get up, so do you."


"We look like a couple of very hung over Christmas presents," Laurie said looking disgustedly at her reflection in the mirror. "What was in that egg nog anyway?"

"Jerome's secret Christmas egg nog recipe. His brother gave it to me before we left L.A. Pretty good stuff, wasn't it?"

"Too good. And it packed quite a wallop. Which do you want, shower or bath?"

"I'll take the shower," Angela said. "You can have the tub but don't fall asleep in it or Suzie will be up here prying your eyeballs open."


Laurie turned around and hugged Angela tightly.

"Have I told you how much I love you lately?" Laurie asked softly.

"About a million times since the other night. But that's okay. You can tell me a million more times and a million times more after that. After all of these years, I never tire of hearing it."

"Hurry up you two, and don't forget to put on your Christmas clothes!" They heard a voice yelling loudly from downstairs.

They both laughed and headed for the bathroom.

"Fa la la la la, Merry Christmas and how do we look?" Laurie asked when the two of them finally arrived downstairs.

"You look very Christmassy," Bettie told them.

"Wow Mommy Laurie! Wow Mama Angela! You're beautiful!" Suzie said her voice ringing in adoration.

"Yes, but not as pretty as you," Angela told her. "As for you," Angela said looking at Bettie, "you look like you've been raiding Mrs. Claus's closet."

"You look great, mom."

"Well, I wasn't sure that this idea Suzie had of everybody dressing in Christmas clothes would go over, but now I'm glad she thought of it. Anyway, breakfast is on the table, let's eat and get it out of the way before everybody starts arriving."


After breakfast, Suzie coaxed Angela and Laurie into playing a video game with her while Bettie cheered them on, rooting for Suzie of course. They had been playing for about fifteen minutes when Dag arrived.


"Well, if it isn't Dag, the Christmas elf!" Laurie teased getting up from the couch.
Dag was wearing a very short and very revealing Christmas outfit. It looked almost as if she had put on a Santa suit without the pants.

"Go ahead and make your jokes, Laurie," Dag replied. "Glenn thinks it's very sexy."

"You look absolutely darling, Dag. Don't listen to Laurie." Bettie told her. Then she whispered to Dag in a low voice.

"Did Glenn's friend come through for us?"

"Yes, he'll be here around five or six after he finishes at the orphanage. Glenn told him about our predicament with Suzie and he said he would know what to do."

A friend from the TV station Glenn managed had volunteered to come to the Baker home and play Santa Claus. He dressed up as Santa for the kids at the orphanage every Christmas Eve and said it would be no problem to stop by the Baker household afterwards.

Glenn had arrived and set a bunch of presents under the tree.

"So Glenn, you liked Dag's outfit," Laurie teased.

"Well..." he muttered his face turning red. "It's different."

"I'm just kidding, sis" Laurie told her. "You look absolutely stunning."

"So do you, Laurie!" she said giving Laurie a quick hug.

"Have you two decided about adoption yet?"

"Well, I told you Glenn really thought my outfit was sexy when I was trying it on. So we kind of got in a hurry last night and it looks like we may be doing both. Only time will tell!"

Laurie couldn't help but laugh as Glenn walked away.

Just then the doorbell rang. If it was family, they would have walked on in so Laurie went to answer it.



"Mr & Mrs. Washington!," Laurie said quite surprised to see them at her front door. She could not remember ever having been visited at home by any of her patients or their family. "What can I do for you?"

"I know it's Christmas Eve and you probably don't want to be bothered. But please, call me Viv and my husband's name is Jim. It's just that we didn't get a chance to see you after Mason's surgery and we wanted to thank you personally for everything you did."

"You didn't have to come way out here, Viv. I mean I just did what any doctor would do."

"Yes, but Dr. Rolf told me there's not another Doctor in this town who can do what you did. I don't know if you know it or not, but we had a daughter who died of leukemia not too long ago. I don't know what I would have done if we had lost Mason,"

A chill went quickly down Laurie's spine. Then she decided that Dr. Rolf must have told her in passing about the Mason's daughter and that fact had worked itself into her dream.

"Yes, I had heard that. Please, won't you come in?" Laurie asked.

"We'd love to, but we're on are way to the hospital to spend Christmas with Mason," Jim told her.

"Dr. Rolf told us that you were practicing in L.A. and you may return there. Is that true?"

"I really haven't decided yet," Laurie answered.

"Well, I hope you decide to stay. I know Devonshire has it's rough edges, but we don't manage to keep a lot of good doctors, especially surgeons of your caliber"

"And if you were to decide to set up a private practice here, I'd be more than happy to help you get started," Jim continued. "I own several of the medical buildings and clinics near the hospital, and I'd be more than willing to let you use one of them, rent free. All you would have is your other expenses."

"That's a very generous offer, Jim. But I'd have to talk it over with my spouse."

As if on cue, Angela arrived at the door.

"And speaking of my spouse, this is Angela Jordan."

Jim shook her hand warmly as did Viv.

"I hope besides just being our doctor we can all get to be good friends," Viv told Angela as she shook her hand.


"As a matter of fact, I'll give you a card with my home phone number," Jim said handing Angela the card. “It has our home phone number and maybe we can get together for dinner or something."

"You know, I think I'd like that, Jim," Angela told him.

There was an awkward silence for a second.

"Well, thanks again Dr...."

"Please, call me Laurie." she told him.

"Thanks again, Laurie," He said shaking her hand.

Viv walked over and hugged Laurie.

"Thank you so much, Laurie! Thank you for my son's life."

"You don't need to thank me. I'm just glad I was able to save him," Laurie said. She wasn't even slightly embarrased. She felt only pride for what she had done.

"Very nice people," Angela said after they had left.


"Yes they, are," Laurie told her. "Angela....would you be terribly disappointed if we lived here in Devonshire instead of going back to Los Angeles. I mean after all the work you did on the house and everything."

"Laurie, of course not. My life is where ever you are and what makes you happy. This was your home, and now I feel like its our home.

"And besides," Angela laughed, "your mom is thinking about redecorating this house and she said if we stayed she would put me in charge of the redecorating detail. She says it's too big of a house for just her."


"I'm thinking of taking Jim up on his offer," Laurie said. "But if I do, it's only if you're agreeable to it and also it wouldn't be until next year, sometime."

"I'm certainly agreeable to it. I love it here in Devonshire. I feel this is where I grew up in a lot of ways. But why not until next year?"

"Because we're lagging behind on our family and neither one of us is getting any younger. It's my turn to experience the joys of pregnancy. I've made an appointment at the clinic for next week."


Angela laughed. "You're just full of surprises! As for the joy's of pregnancy, we'll see if you're still saying that about five or six months from now!"

And when they kissed they were oblivious to the fact that Kurt, Gail and their son Marcus had arrived and were watching.

"I hate mushy stuff," Marcus said.

"Geez, what is it with you two?" Gail said. "Are you going to be lip locked forever?"

"No," Laurie laughed, we're going to have a baby.

"Well, you'll have to find another way than standing out here on the sidewalk making out. I don't think that's how it's done." he laughed.

"You look terrific, Gail! I hope I look as good as you do at six months!," Laurie laughed.

"You'll never look as good as me so get used to it," Gail replied.

Laurie laughed as Kurt reached over to give her a hug. "How are you doing kiddoe," he asked.

"Things couldn't be better Kurt. I never did thank you for stopping at the cemetery the other day. I can always count on you to come through for me. On the other hand..."

"On the other hand what?" Kurt asked puzzled.

"Don't ever let me catch you at Harry's Place!"

"Harry's?" Kurt asked puzzled. "I've never been there. Why would you say that?"

"Never you mind. Just stay away from there."

Kurt shrugged his shoulders then turned to hug Angela.


"What's she talking about?" Kurt asked her.

"Oh, it's just a dream she had," Angela said.

"That explains everything," Kurt said knowing that it explained nothing.

"Merry Christmas, Laurie," Gail said hugging her extra tightly.

"Laurie, we really have to talk sometime today," she whispered. "After everything you and your family have done for me, there has to be some way for me to help you get back to being the Laurie I used to know."

"It's okay, Gail," she whispered. "I'm back. Everything is okay again"

Gail pulled away to look at her. She would know if Laurie was lying. When Laurie smiled warmly, Gail knew the old Laurie had returned. It had been a long time since she had seen Laurie smile at all.

Gail hugged her again. "Merry Christmas, Laurie," She said softly.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Gail. You look fabulous."

"You look great yourself," Gail replied breaking away. "Marcus wasn't too happy about wearing his Christmas jacket though."

"Marc, why don't you like your jacket? I think you look handsome. You're going to be a real heartbreaker when you grow up!"

"I don't want to break any hearts," he said. "I just want to play the playstation." And then he ran into the house.

As early evening approached almost the entire Baker clan had arrived on the scene, including Nick, his wife Allison and their son Matthew. Grandpa Frank was there, along with his namesake and grandchild Little Frank. Keith would not be arriving until the next morning.


When little Frank arrived, he came in shaking his head. "Well, no White Christmas again this year."

The comment brought chuckles and remebrances of Joe Baker doing the same thing every year.

"Not so little anymore are you?" Grandpa Frank told him.

The twins arrived home having left just before a snowstorm hit the midwest. Of course, Ronnie was there along with his new bride, just as Dagmar said he would be. The kids spent most of the day in front of the TV watching DVD's and playing video games.

Everyone remarked about the change in Laurie, but she told no one about her dream, knowing they would think it was just foolishness.

As the sunset and darkness fell, Suzie began walking around dejectedly with her head hung down. It was Angela who noticed it first.

"Are you okay, sweetie," she asked Suzie who was standing in front of one of the many Santa Claus pictures, head hung low.

"I guess Santa couldn't get God to let grandpa come home," she answered dejectedly.

"Don't give up hope baby," Angela told her. "It's just Christmas Eve night and there's all day tomorrow. I'm sure Santa will think of something."

"Do you really think so mama?" she said looking up for the first time and smiling.

"Yes, Angela. I have a feeling that Santa will think of something."

Laurie wasn't unaware of what was going on either. She walked hurriedly over to Glenn.

"Are you sure your friend is coming?" she asked him.

"Positive," Glenn said. "He called and told me he'd be leaving the Orphanage any minute and would be on his way."

"Don't worry, Laurie," Dag tried to reassure her. "It's all under control. This guy is really very good. He'll have you believing in Santa Claus before it's over with."

"Well, maybe I already do," Laurie chuckled.

"I told him not to knock to just come on in. We can't have Santa knocking on the door. It wouldn't be right," Glenn told her.

And a half an hour later.....there was the unmistakeable sound of "Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas" reverberating through the house as Santa stepped through the doorway.

"Santa!" Suzie exclaimed while running towards him.

Angela breathed a sigh of relief. He was a great looking Santa.

"Why you must be Suzie," He bellowed reaching down to return her hug. "You've been an awfully good girl this year!"

"Yes, I have Santa! I've been extra good!" She looked around behind Santa as if she were looking for someone.

"Did you bring him? Did you bring my Grandpa with you?" she asked hurriedly.

"Ho Ho Ho," Santa yelled raising hi arms. "That's why I'm here Suzie. But first I need to talk to you!"

"You didn't bring him did you, Santa?," Suzie said her head drooping once again. "That's okay, I know you really tried."

Santa Claus gently took Suzie by the hand and led her over to a chair, then gently sat her on his lap.

"Suzie, I know you wished for your Grandpa to be here. But what you don't understand is that your grandfather is an angel. And we can't see angels. If we could they wouldn't be angels would they? Your granfather is here, he's always here with you. Look around you, and I see so much love for your grandpa in this room. How could he not be here?"

"I suppose so," Suzie said as if she weren't sure.


"Tell me Suzie, is there anything special you remember about Christmas with your Grandpa."

For the first time Suzie smiled. "There is a song he used to sing to me. He told me it was a special song that he thought of every Christmas. Last year he taught me to sing it too, and we sang it together."

Santa smiled warmly. "Would you sing it for me, Suzie? As your Christmas gift to Santa? I'm sure if you were to sing that song, your Grandpa will be right here listening. As long as you remember that song, he will always be here."

"Okay, Santa. I'll sing it for grandpa."

Suzie slid quietly off Santa's lap and walked over to the Karaoke machine which had already been set up by Laurie in anticipation. She gently handed Suzie the microphone, and kissed her on the cheek.

Suzie appeared nervous. She had never sung alone before.

"It's okay, Suzie," Laurie reassured her.

Hesitantly she began.

Suzie gently laid down the mike, and as she did you could have heard a pin drop in the room.

"You were right Santa, I did feel Grandpa was here with me when I was singing."

She looked quietly around the room.

"Why is everybody crying?," she asked. "Did I sing bad?"

"No Suzie," Santa told her hugging her warmly. "You sang like an angel. Everybody is crying because they are remembering, and sometimes happy memories do make us cry."

When Bettie had finished drying her tears, she walked over to hug the Santa Claus.

"Thank you Santa," she told him. "You've made this a memorable Christmas for all of us."

"It was my pleasure, Mrs. Baker. You have a family anybody would be proud of."

"Thank you, Santa," Laurie said also giving him a hug. "You've given Suzie the happiest Christmas she could possibly have. You've given it to all of us."

"Well," Santa said choking back his own tears, "That's what Santa is supposed to do isn't it."



But Laurie couldn't help but think that when Santa was hugging her, she felt warm, cozy, and protected. She thought it was almost like that night in her dream but she knew she was imagining it and quickly shook it off.

"Santa, I know you're busy this being Christmas Eve and all, but would you do us a favor. Every year we take a Christmas picture of all of us together. Unfortunately, the timer isn't working on the camera and this year if one of us takes it they'll be left out. Would you do it for us?"

"I'd be glad to," Santa told her. "Gather everybody around."

It took a while to get everybody lined up but eventually they managed. Grandpa Frank, Bettie, Nick and Allison stood in the back row. Glenn Dag, Angela and Laurie stood in the next row and in front of them were Kurt, Gail, Ronnie and his wife.. The twins, Little Frank, and Matthew stood in the front row. Seated in front were Veronica, Suzie, Marcus, and Eddie.



"Is everybody ready?" Santa asked.

"We're ready, Santa!" Everybody yelled.

"Okay then, say Merry Christmas!"

"MERRY CHRISTMAS" They yelled, and as they did the flash went off and Santa took the picture.

"Well, Santa's got a lot of work to do! I would love to stay with you for the rest of the evening but it is Christmas Eve and Santa has a lot of places to go tonight!"

"Merry Christmas, Santa," Everybody yelled as they waved at him.

"Merry Christmas everyone, and a very Happy New Year," He yelled back at them, then turned and went out the door with one last rambunctious Ho-Ho-Ho.

"Why didn't he go up the chimney?" Suzie asked.

"Well, because we have a fire going in the fireplace," Laurie told her. "Don't worry, I'll put it out later for when he delivers the presents."

"Oh, okay," Suzie replied.

Outside, two figures stood alone on the sidewalk.



"Well, how did I do?" Santa asked her.

"Absolutely perfect," Susan said wiping away a tear. "I couldn't have done it any better."

"I thought angels weren't supposed to get emotionally involved?" Santa asked noticing the tear she had wiped away.

"That's doctors, not angels!" Susan told him. "At least I got to see what you looked like with a beard. I always wondered about that."

"You really miss her, don't you?" she asked quietly.

Santa didn't answer her. There was no need to as he was sure Susan already knew the answer. Instead he walked her across the street and snapped his fingers causing the Santa outfit to disappear.

"Hmmm, I think I like you better with the beard," Susan told Joe.

He laughed. "You know, Glenn and Kurt tried really hard on the decorations and Bettie wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. But the reindeer are on the wrong side of the house and it's irritating."

"Oh no, you don't," Susan warned. "Don't even think about it." She started to grab Joe's wrist but it was too late.

Joe paid her no mind and snapped his fingers.




"There, that's better," he said as the reindeer appeared instantly on the other side of the house.

Susan shook her head. "Now look what you've done. Don't you think their going to think that it’s a bit strange for reindeers to be floating around the yard?"

Joe laughed. "Oh, they'll come up with some logical explanation. Mortals always do. But now the other side of the yard looks rather empty. I'd better take care of that."

"No Joe, don't do it," she said grabbing his arm. But it was too late. He had already snapped his fingers. Instantly a two foot tall elf appeared on the lawn.

Susan squinted. "Kind of small isn't it? Of course, you being new and all it's understandable."

She snapped her fingers. Suddenly the two foot tall elf sprung up, reaching almost to the second floor.



"There, that's better," she said admiring her work.

"I am impressed," Joe replied. "Still.....it needs just a dab more." He snapped his fingers.

"I always wanted to build a snowman," he told Susan as a snowman appeared magically on the lawn.

Susan sighed. "You know Michael isn't going to like this," she told him sternly. But Susan looked quickly around to make sure nobody was watching. "Still your snowman is kind of puny also." She waved her arm and instantly a snowman at least two feet taller than Joe’s appeared next to his.



"That's better," she said. "Now your little snowman won't be so lonely."

"Wow, I am impressed," Joe told her.

"Maybe a few more lights?" Susan asked. "I could........"

"That will be quite enough of that you two," Michael said from behind them.

Joe and Susan turned around sheepishly, ready to face the wrath of Michael.


"I can tell I'm going to have my hands full with the two of you working together?" Michael grinned.

"Do you mean it, Michael? We're working together?" Susan asked eagerly.


"Yes, you are. Joe will be apprenticing with you for a while meaning you'll be his boss. Do you think you can handle that, Joe?"

Joe grinned. "I'm sure we'll get along just fine, Michael."

"Then let me congratulate the both of you on a job well done," Michael said as he he patted them on the back. "And oh yeah, Merry Christmas guys!"

"Merry Christmas, Michael," They told him.

"We've got a lot of work to do so we had better get going. You're family is going to be just fine Joe"

They stood and looked at the Baker home one last second before heading down the sidewalk. As they headed up the walk, Joe took one last glance longingly at the home he had left behind. Then quietly, he snapped his fingers one more time and grinned. Michael merely smiled knowingly before the three of them faded into invisibility.

Inside the Baker home, the guys were sitting watching a football game as the women descended from down the stairs.

"Did you get them all to bed?" Glenn asked. "How did you find room for everybody?"

"We managed, no thanks to you guys," Dag said to him. "Thanks for your help."

"And you too, Kurt Miller!" Gail said confronting him. "There is no reason why you guys couldn't have helped!"

"Okay, okay you've made your point. But don't forget, us guys have to stay up all night putting toys together. Or would you have rather us get everybody to bed and you put toys together."

Gail laughed. "No thanks, you guys can have at it."

It was then that she noticed the camera still standing where Santa had taken the picture.

"Hey, did anybody get the picture out of the camera," she asked looking around.

Of course nobody had.



"I'll get it out," Bettie said walking over to the camera.

She pulled on the picture, but it wouldn't come out.

"It seems to be stuck," she said. "I hope we didn't leave it in there too long."

"Just don't tear it," Laurie told her.

Bettie pulled again, and this time the picture came sliding out and she began examining it. At first it appeared okay until she inspected it a little closer.

And what she saw startled her so much she almost dropped the picture.


"I don't believe it!," She said. "It can't be! This is impossible!"

"What is it mom? What's wrong?" Angela asked. There was something in Bettie's voice that was alarming.

"Look at it," she said holding the picture as they gathered around to see. "Look at the picture."

At first, they had to squint to see it. But it didn't take long for them to realize
what it was they were seeing.

"This can't be," Dag said. "There's no way!"

"Well, pictures don't lie, or at least that's what they always say in court," Bettie told her.



There in the picture, standing right behind Bettie, was Joe.

"I guess your friend really is Santa Claus," Laurie told Glenn.

"Don't be ridiculous," Glenn told her. "There has to be a logical explanation."

"Well, what is it?" Dag asked him.

"You mother had trouble getting the picture out. There was probably an old photograph in there and it double exposed or something," Glenn said quite proud of his explanation. "We're not living in the twilight zone."


Just then Glenn's cell phone rang. He quickly pulled it out and answered it before someone could challenge his undeniable logic. He was thankful to be let off the hook.

"Oh hi....we were just looking.....what?........what do you mean?" Glenns face began to turn white but he continued to talk.

"No, no.....I understand.......it couldn't be helped.....no it was taken care of.....everything turned out fine.....no you don't need to come over....but thanks for trying......no you don't need to keep apologizing.....yes, the little girl is fine......Merry Christmas to you too."

He hung up the phone and gulped.

"What was that all about?" Dag asked.

"That was the guy from the station. The one who was supposed to play Santa for us."

"Supposed to? What do you mean supposed to?" Bettie asked.

"It seems when he started to leave the orphanage his car wouldn't start. He tried and tried but couldn't get it to run and couldn't figure out why. Then mysteriously it started up just a few minutes ago"

"If that wasn't your friend, then who was Santa?"

"I don't know," Glenn said sheepishly.

Angela laughed. "Obviously you people don't know anything. That was the real Santa!"


Laurie turned toward Bettie. "Mom, that time you were in a coma, when you got hit by that car.......did you...was there....."

"Was there what, Laurie?"

Laurie shook her head. "Never mind....it's just that...."

Laurie didn't finish. Instead she turned and raced toward the front door, Bettie following right behind her.

"Oh my, will you look at this! I don't believe it! It's beautiful!" Laurie said shivering.



It was snowing, and snowing hard with much of it already covering the ground.

"I'm getting too old for surprises like this," Bettie said. "This is just unbelievable."


"And look over there!" Laurie said as she pointed to the snowmen and elf.

"Where did all of that stuff come from?"

"I guess our mystery Santa left them," Bettie told her. "Where are the reindeer?" She looked over to the other side of the yard where she saw the electric reindeer in their proper place.

"I suppose he could have moved the reindeer also," Bettie told her. "I didn't have the heart to tell the guys they had put the reindeer in the wrong place."

"But mother, how would he have known? I knew, Dag Suzie and you knew they were in the wrong place but I don't think Glenn or Kurt would have known what a big deal it was to dad to have them on this side of the house. Nor would anybody else have for that matter."

"Laurie, sometimes things happen that we can't explain. And to tell you the truth, I don't want an explanation. I just want to believe that something miraculous has happened. It makes it more like Christmas. Do you know what I mean?

"Yes, mother, I think I do."

"Well, Joe" Bettie said quietly, "It looks like you finally got your White Christmas. Merry Christmas, Joe."

Laurie looked at her, and smiled knowingly. "Merry Christmas, dad" she said. "It was great having you home again."

She turned toward her mother. Tears brimming in her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, mom!"

"Merry Christmas, Laurie," Bettie said as she reached for her.

And as they stood there in the snow, hugging each other, they once again felt warm and tingly all over despite the cold and falling snow. They couldn't see the man standing beside them, smiling knowingly.



"Merry Christmas, guys, and a Happy New Year," he said. "I will always love you, Bettie."

And with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

The End