(Author's Notes: Welcome to Part Three of the serialized story, Laurie and Dag. If this is you're first time here and you would prefer to start at the beginning of the story (something I heartily recommend), simply use the links in the right hand column to navigate to previous chapters. And because Laurie & Dag is a sequel to the first story on this site, The Kid & Me, you may actually want to begin with that novella by also using the links in the right hand column. For those of you who are familiar with my work, you know that this story actually ran on the corporate site of The Sims 2, and after having been there for over a year with no problems, parts of it were hidden from view for reasons unknown. It did lead me to remove the story, and now I'm reposting it here. And while basically it is the same story, it is undergoing some heavy rewriting, mostly in the clarification of some events, but also in order to give the story a much harder edge to it than it had previously.You will also notice that Dag's part of the story will now begin to resemble the movie that it is derived from as I mentioned in preview, where I also mentioned the reasons for it. Everything else is from my own imagination. This story is not recommended for anyone under the age of thirteen. Also, at any time you can click on any picture and see an enlargement if you so desire. Once again thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy Laurie and Dag.)
~~~18~~~
Written by BettieBy the time June rolled around, the days had already turned unbearably hot in Devonshire. Have you ever been eight months or more pregnant with the temperature outside hovering above a hundred degrees and your air conditioner blows up? Well, I have and in the early days of summer that’s exactly what happened that year. It was a week from hell, as it took a week to have a whole new air conditioning unit put in. There were moments that I thought I would sweat the baby out.
But there were a few good things happening. Dag finally graduated from college. She had managed to graduate with a 3.8 average, which wasn’t too shabby. Despite the fact that I was in the last weeks of pregnancy, the whole family did make it to her graduation. Andy had become recent ancient history. Dag gave no indication that she wanted to discuss what had happened so I decided not to bring the subject up. Looking back now I’m not sure that was the best course of action, as events in the months ahead unfolded. Dag was carrying the scars of the relationship and it would take more than time to heal them.
Dag’s first task upon returning home was to find a job, then after that she wanted to find a place of her own. I had hoped she would want to stay with us at least for a while, but it was easy to understand her desire to remain independent in the way that she had grown accustomed to in college…..well almost independent as she did rely on us for her financial necessities. Of course, we didn’t mind that, as long as Dag kept her grades point average up.
As for Laurie, she had not seemed too upset when Kurt had left for Hawaii with his parents. That didn’t surprise me as much as one might think. I never really sensed that there were any long term fireworks igniting from their relationship and the conversation we had in her room some months back had confirmed that. Still, I liked Kurt, and there was always the possibility things would change.
On the other hand, we began seeing less and less of Gail and more and more of Angela Jordan around the house. Laurie might tell you that I was wary of Gail, but I was actually more worried about her than wary of her. It was obvious to me that her continued involvement with Chuck Easterman spelled trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pregnant. But she wasn’t my child so far be it from me to butt in. Joe told me that if I kept it up, I’d be trying to raise every kid in the neighborhood. My reply to him: “that if it would lower the high teen pregnancy rate of Devonshire and the high rate of STD’s, than I’d be more than glad to do it.”
I was not so naïve as to think that all of my kids would still be wearing their virginity badges when and if they walked down the aisle, so I had imparted as much wisdom as I could when they were very young, hammered it home as often as I could and hoped for the best. But when Dag came to me in her junior year of high school, asking if she could go on the pill just to be safe, I didn’t hesitate taking her to not only get a prescription, but bought some industrial strength condoms for her to take along for the ride. I later found out from her that as it turned out, she hadn’t needed either item, but she was glad that I had trusted her judgment. Of course, as you now know, college was a different story altogether. And if Laurie or any of the kids asked when they were old enough, I’d do the same thing for each of them. Better to be safe than at them pregnant or worse, perhaps dead. I wasn’t that worried about Laurie’s relationship with Kurt. If you asked her how things were going with you, it would usually get a shrug of the shoulders and d an “Okay I guess.”
Then there was the matter of Laurie’s new best friend, Angela Jordan. Ask Laurie anything at all about that subject and it was a completely subject. Her face would light up and you’d get a five thousand word oral power point presentation. Laurie always had this knack for being able to get along with anyone and making new friends, but this was something that went way beyond that. It was something I probably should have been paying more attention to at the time, but when you’re in you last month of pregnancy you tend to have other priorities.
It had also been several months since Joe’s book had been published. It had been published and just kind of sat there in the bookstores, collecting dust and not much else. However, everything was about to change. I look back at what happened now, and I wonder if sometimes the Baker Family was star-crossed or if we were experts in poor timing. You can blame everything that happened on Dag. Yep, it was no doubt that Dag was at fault if you used the right reasoning, If Dag hadn’t met Andy and fallen for him, then she would have never brought him to the house, we would never have known what a jerk he was, I would have never been motivated to take Joe’s book to Jay, who never would have taken it to a publisher, which meant it would never have been read by Oprah Winfrey which meant Joe wouldn’t have been in Chicago which meant the events in early June might not have happened the way they did. See how it works?
But there were a few good things happening. Dag finally graduated from college. She had managed to graduate with a 3.8 average, which wasn’t too shabby. Despite the fact that I was in the last weeks of pregnancy, the whole family did make it to her graduation. Andy had become recent ancient history. Dag gave no indication that she wanted to discuss what had happened so I decided not to bring the subject up. Looking back now I’m not sure that was the best course of action, as events in the months ahead unfolded. Dag was carrying the scars of the relationship and it would take more than time to heal them.
Dag’s first task upon returning home was to find a job, then after that she wanted to find a place of her own. I had hoped she would want to stay with us at least for a while, but it was easy to understand her desire to remain independent in the way that she had grown accustomed to in college…..well almost independent as she did rely on us for her financial necessities. Of course, we didn’t mind that, as long as Dag kept her grades point average up.
As for Laurie, she had not seemed too upset when Kurt had left for Hawaii with his parents. That didn’t surprise me as much as one might think. I never really sensed that there were any long term fireworks igniting from their relationship and the conversation we had in her room some months back had confirmed that. Still, I liked Kurt, and there was always the possibility things would change.
On the other hand, we began seeing less and less of Gail and more and more of Angela Jordan around the house. Laurie might tell you that I was wary of Gail, but I was actually more worried about her than wary of her. It was obvious to me that her continued involvement with Chuck Easterman spelled trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pregnant. But she wasn’t my child so far be it from me to butt in. Joe told me that if I kept it up, I’d be trying to raise every kid in the neighborhood. My reply to him: “that if it would lower the high teen pregnancy rate of Devonshire and the high rate of STD’s, than I’d be more than glad to do it.”
I was not so naïve as to think that all of my kids would still be wearing their virginity badges when and if they walked down the aisle, so I had imparted as much wisdom as I could when they were very young, hammered it home as often as I could and hoped for the best. But when Dag came to me in her junior year of high school, asking if she could go on the pill just to be safe, I didn’t hesitate taking her to not only get a prescription, but bought some industrial strength condoms for her to take along for the ride. I later found out from her that as it turned out, she hadn’t needed either item, but she was glad that I had trusted her judgment. Of course, as you now know, college was a different story altogether. And if Laurie or any of the kids asked when they were old enough, I’d do the same thing for each of them. Better to be safe than at them pregnant or worse, perhaps dead. I wasn’t that worried about Laurie’s relationship with Kurt. If you asked her how things were going with you, it would usually get a shrug of the shoulders and d an “Okay I guess.”
Then there was the matter of Laurie’s new best friend, Angela Jordan. Ask Laurie anything at all about that subject and it was a completely subject. Her face would light up and you’d get a five thousand word oral power point presentation. Laurie always had this knack for being able to get along with anyone and making new friends, but this was something that went way beyond that. It was something I probably should have been paying more attention to at the time, but when you’re in you last month of pregnancy you tend to have other priorities.
It had also been several months since Joe’s book had been published. It had been published and just kind of sat there in the bookstores, collecting dust and not much else. However, everything was about to change. I look back at what happened now, and I wonder if sometimes the Baker Family was star-crossed or if we were experts in poor timing. You can blame everything that happened on Dag. Yep, it was no doubt that Dag was at fault if you used the right reasoning, If Dag hadn’t met Andy and fallen for him, then she would have never brought him to the house, we would never have known what a jerk he was, I would have never been motivated to take Joe’s book to Jay, who never would have taken it to a publisher, which meant it would never have been read by Oprah Winfrey which meant Joe wouldn’t have been in Chicago which meant the events in early June might not have happened the way they did. See how it works?
I was relaxing in the living room in the lounge chair chair reading a book when the phone rang. It turned out to be Jay Daggett, and when Jay called you it could be about practically anything. At that time we were still waiting on the final disposition of Laurie’s inheritance from her dead Grandparents (or Grand Monsters as we now referred to them as).“Good news, or bad new,” I asked him.
“It could be great news,” he told me. “It depends on how Joe sees it. Is he around?”
“He’s right here, Jay,” I handed Joe the phone. My curiosity was now piqued. The fact that I was only able to listen to Joe’s side of the conversation didn’t lessen it one bit either:
“What is it Jay?.........You’re kidding…….Oprah?.......Why my book?......When?........I never thought about having to go on the road to promote it much…….Jay, you do know Bettie is about ready to have a baby……That soon?.......How soon do they need an answer……I don’t know Jay, I’ll talk to Bettie but this isn’t something I really want to do…… I’ll call you back later.” Joe hung up the phone.
“What did he want?” I immediately asked. “I thought you said Oprah! Or is there some other Oprah?”“No, it’s that Oprah, they want me to go to Chicago to be on her show and talk about the book!”
“You’re kidding! Really! You, on the Oprah Winfrey show?” I don’t know why but the thought of Joe on the Oprah Winfrey show made me laugh.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“You’ve never watched that show and now they want you to go on it? I guess that’s what I find kind of funny.”
“It seems somebody recommended my book to her, she read it and now she wants me on her show,” he continued but Joe didn’t appear very enthusiastic about it.
“This is great!” I told him. “Do you know what this will do for sales of the book?”
We headed over to the couch for a sit down discussion.Joe shrugged his shoulders. “Well, it might sell a few more copies. But I’m not going so it doesn’t matter.”
“And just why the hell not?” I asked him. “You’re kidding. You can’t pass this up Joe Baker!”
“Because you could have the baby any time and they want me next week. I’m not leaving you.”
“Don’t be silly,” I told him. “I’ll be fine. The baby isn’t due for a few weeks yet. And if it does come I’m sure I can find my way to the hospital. Joe, think about how many people this will help if your book starts selling. That’s what’s important. You have to go. There won’t be another opportunity like this again.”
“Don’t kid me, Bettie. You just want to brag to your friends. Besides, I don’t know anything about giving interviews,” he protested.
“What’s there to know?” I asked. “You simply answer the questions she asks. She obviously liked the book Joe. She wouldn’t want you on the show if she didn’t like the book. You are going to go and that’s final. I’ll be fine, the kids will be fine, and the baby will be fine. The girls can stay around the house while you’re gone.”
“What’s there to know?” I asked. “You simply answer the questions she asks. She obviously liked the book Joe. She wouldn’t want you on the show if she didn’t like the book. You are going to go and that’s final. I’ll be fine, the kids will be fine, and the baby will be fine. The girls can stay around the house while you’re gone.”
He looked at me and knew that when I said “that’s final” I meant it. It was seldom that I used the phrase, but on the rare occasions that I did, Joe knew he would sooner or later give in. He picked up the phone and called Jay.“Yes, Jay. Tell them I’ll do it. Well Bettie and I discussed it and we both decided it would be a good thing to do.”
“Liar!” I whispered to him. He smiled at me. When he had hung up the phone I grabbed him. “Who would have thought it? You on the Oprah Winfrey show.” Again I couldn’t help but laugh.
And so it was that exactly one week later, the kids along with Laurie’s friend Angela and I, gathered around the TV to watch Joe make his first national television appearance. I must say, I was as nervous as if I was walking out on the set with him.Oprah, started by telling her audience about the book. “It’s a true story,” she said, “About how one confirmed bachelor and ladies man, unexpectedly became the father of two children in the same year, and found a love that would change his life forever. So will you please welcome Joe Baker!”
There was applause as Joe walked out.
“Dad looks scared to death!” Dag said.
I had to admit he did. But it only lasted a few minutes as Oprah quickly made him feel relaxed. She started off by asking him why he wrote the book, and then asked him about Dag, Laurie and myself. She also asked him about his early life, his father, and how much he regretted his lifestyle. I could tell it was difficult for Joe to talk about it but he was honest, and didn’t make any excuses for himself. When he talked about Susan’s death, there wasn’t a dry eye in the audience, or in our living room for that matter. It was also at this moment that I felt my first contraction. I thought at first it might be false labor or at least hoping that it was. I waited for 
another contraction. Soon afterwards it appeared. I began to time them. “Not now,” I thought, “you stay in there!”But it wasn’t going to happen. Twenty minutes into the show, and several more contractions later, it was obvious that the baby had other ideas. Then there was a hard contraction, and I moaned.
“Are you okay, mom,” Laurie asked.
“I think I’d better get to the hospital,” I told her.
“Mom! You can’t have that baby now,” Dag said. “Dad’s on TV!”
“Well, apparently this baby wants to watch Oprah too because it has other ideas about staying put. Okay kids, we’ll Tivo the rest of the show. Dag, you go get my overnight bag, Laurie, call me a taxi. I’ll go get changed!”
As I left the living room, Laurie rushed to the phone and began dialing while Dag went to the bedroom amoire and began gathering up my overnight bag and all the things I would need. When I stood up I moaned again, just as another contraction hit. It began to worry me that they seemed to be coming harder and faster than in any of my previous pregnancies.“What do want me to do?” Little Frank asked.
“You play with the twins and keep them occupied so they don’t get scared,” I told him.
I went into the bathroom to take a quick shower but didn’t quite make it. My water broke soaking me and the floor. I had been hoping that wouldn’t happen until I got to the hospital but that too was asking too much. One thing was certain, and it was that I didn't have a whole lot of time so I was in and out of the shower in a matter of seconds.
I went into the bathroom to take a quick shower but didn’t quite make it. My water broke soaking me and the floor. I had been hoping that wouldn’t happen until I got to the hospital but that too was asking too much. One thing was certain, and it was that I didn't have a whole lot of time so I was in and out of the shower in a matter of seconds.
Laurie was waiting for me in the living room with a panicked look on her face. “Calm down,” I told everyone. “I have plenty of time.” I was trying to be reassuring, although I was beginning to have doubts myself.“Mom,” Laurie said, “The cab company said it’s going to be an hour maybe longer before they can get a cab all the way out here. There’s a Young Republicans Convention in town and they are very busy. There’s not a cab anywhere near here.”
“Those damn Republicans are always screwing something up,” I said with disdain. “I don’t know if I have THAT long!”
“Mrs. Baker, my dad’s home today. He can take you. I’m sure he would be glad to.”
I had never met Angela’s father but given the circumstances I figured now was as good a time as any. “Okay, Angela, call and ask him real quick and thank you.”
She quickly made the phone call then informed me that he would be right over. I was beginning to worry. The contractions were certainly strong for the early stages of labor but I put on my happy face for the kids. It wasn’t a few minutes though before Angela’s father showed up.
He introduced himself.
“I wanted to meet Angela’s parents,” I told him. “I’m just sorry I had to meet you under these circumstances. And please, just call me Bettie”
I had never met Angela’s father but given the circumstances I figured now was as good a time as any. “Okay, Angela, call and ask him real quick and thank you.”
She quickly made the phone call then informed me that he would be right over. I was beginning to worry. The contractions were certainly strong for the early stages of labor but I put on my happy face for the kids. It wasn’t a few minutes though before Angela’s father showed up.
He introduced himself.
“I wanted to meet Angela’s parents,” I told him. “I’m just sorry I had to meet you under these circumstances. And please, just call me Bettie”
“It’s quite okay, Bettie. Those of us in the military are prepared for any emergency. And just call me Phil as well”“Okay, Phil. I think we’d better get this show on the road. Laurie, you and Angela can go with me. Dag, take care of the kids and try to reach your father. Call Jay, he might know how to reach him. If you can’t reach him call your grandfather and tell him what’s going on. We’ll call you as soon as we get to the hospital.”
Angela got in the front of the van with her dad. Laurie followed me into the back just as another contraction grabbed me.
“I think we’d better hurry, Phil.” I told him.
“Sure thing, Bettie.” He started the van and sped off.
He didn’t speed off very far. About two miles down the road the van stopped and stayed stopped. There was a line of cars ahead of us and we were going nowhere. Fifteen minutes later we hadn’t moved, and the contractions were coming hard, fast and furious.“Why aren’t we moving,” I asked him.’
“There must have been an accident up the road, Bettie,” Phil told me. “Nobody’s moving!”
“Can we go around?” I asked.
“There is no way around. This is the only road leading out of here without taking a twenty mile detour. We should start moving soon.”“We’d better,” I told him just as another contraction hit. “I’m not sure this kid is going to cooperate.”
“Mrs. Baker, You can’t have a baby in this van!” He yelled at me.
“Phil, if we don’t start moving soon, I will be having the baby in your van whether you or I like it or not. It’s not like there’s anything I can do about it.” Another contraction, the baby obviously wasn’t going to wait.
“Laurie, get on your cell phone and call the hospital. Tell them what’s happening. Maybe they can get an ambulance through!”
“I don’t know the number!” she said.
“Call 911, Laurie, they’ll put you through.” I told her just as I had another contraction.
“Oh dear God!” I heard Phil yell. “Tell it to stop!”
“Like it’s going to listen to me,” I told him. “Phil, haven’t you ever seen a baby born before? Where were you when Angela was born?”
“I was…..on…..a….mission, for the army. I wasn’t there.” He told me.
“DAD!” Angela exclaimed. “Don’t lie. Mom told me what happened!! He fainted, Mrs. Baker!”
“Great, just great! Don’t you pass out on me!” I warned him. “Somebody has to drive if we ever get this thing moving.”“Mom, they can’t get an ambulance out here. There’s been a six car pile up and traffic is blocked completely”
“Oh my God!” I heard Phil say again.
“What about the emergency helicopter,” I asked her.
“They’re at the accident transporting victims!” she replied.
“Are you okay, Mrs. Baker?” Angela asked.
“Not exactly,” I told her. “Laurie, do you still have the hospital on the phone?”
“I’m on hold again,” she told me.
“I wish I could put this baby on hold but it doesn’t look like I’m going to get to. You’re going to have to help me Laurie!”
“OH DEAR GOD!” I heard Phil yell. He layed on the
horn, beeping it loudly.“Dad, that’s not helping,” Angela told him.
“OH DEAR GOD!” he exclaimed for the millionth time.
“Phil, I believe in praying to the almighty but I don’t think he’s going to suddenly plop into this van to deliver this baby! Now get a grip, you’re an Army Colonel for crying out loud!” I told him. I could only think that if Phil was an example of today’s army, the country was in big trouble.
“Mom!” Laurie told me. “I don’t know anything about delivering babies.”
“OH DEAR GOD!” he exclaimed for the millionth time.
“Phil, I believe in praying to the almighty but I don’t think he’s going to suddenly plop into this van to deliver this baby! Now get a grip, you’re an Army Colonel for crying out loud!” I told him. I could only think that if Phil was an example of today’s army, the country was in big trouble.
“Mom!” Laurie told me. “I don’t know anything about delivering babies.”
“But Laurie, you’re going to be a surgeon,” Angela told her.“Yeah, but that’s cutting on people’s heads and opening them up. That doesn’t have anything to do with delivering babies,” she replied.
I could tell by Laurie’s face that she was scared and beginning to panic. I tried talking to her as calmly as possible. “Laurie, I’m going to do most of the work. It’s really not that hard. Calm down, take a deep breath.” She did as I asked. “Now hand your phone to Angela. You’ll be just fine, Laurie. Phil, you keep your eyes on the road”
~~~19~~~
~~~Narration by Laurie~~~
~~~Narration by Laurie~~~
As I handed the cell phone to Angela, there was something in mom’s face and demeanor that reassured me. True, I wanted to study medicine, but the last thing I ever thought I would be doing was helping to deliver a baby in the back of a van.“They’re back on the phone, Mrs. Baker.” Angela said. “It’s Doctor White! He’s going to instruct us! This is the most exciting thing I’ve ever been a part of! This is really cool! He wants to know if you can see the head yet!”
“Not yet,” I told Angela. “What does he want us to do?”
“He says for your mom to remember to pant. It’ll ease the contractions.”
Mom nodded. “Okay,” she said. “I’d forgotten in all the excitement.” Mom must have gotten another contraction at that moment and she began panting rapidly. At the same time, so did Mr. Jordan.
“Not you, dad!” Angela yelled at him. "Laurie, the cell phone is breaking up! I'll try standing outside with it." I paid no attention as Angela hopped out of the van.
I reached out to grab Mom’s hand and she clinched it tightly. I knew my palms were sweating. I was calm, but scared to death.It was then that I saw the baby’s head.
“Angela, I see the head! What do I do now! Am I supposed to pull it out?” I hollered at her.
“NO!” Angela yelled quickly. “Your mom is supposed to push and you just give the baby support as you guide it out!”
I took a deep breath. This time mom didn’t moan. She screamed, loudly!
As the baby moved outward some more, I cradled my hands underneath its head. “It’s not all the way out!” I yelled at Angela.
“Tell her to push again!” Angela said. “Make sure you give the baby support! As it comes out, stroke downward on the nose to remove the fluid!” Mom screamed again, and this time the baby slid out into my hands! I stroked the nose as I was instructed. The baby began to cry!
“Wow!” Angela said.
“What do I do now?” I asked.
“The Baby’s out,” Angela yelled into the phone. Then she was quiet for about ten seconds.“Place the baby on your mom’s stomach; make sure the head is lower than the rest of the body. Don’t try to cut the cord!” Dr. White says the helicopter is on its way. Dad, is there a blanket in the van?”
“In the far back,” he told us. I placed the baby on mom’s belly, and she held it there.
“It’s a boy! Another boy!” she said. I reached back and grabbed the blanket. I covered both mom and the baby up without waiting for Angela to tell me to.
“That’s it, Laurie! You did great!” Angela told me.
Far off in the distance, I could hear the helicopter making it’s way towards us. Mom looked exhausted, as Mr. Jordan was wiping his brow with a handkerchief.
“You did great, Laurie.” Mom told me. “Absolutely great.”
“Well, I guess I did okay,” I answered her. “But it’s like you said, Mom, you did all the work!”
Even after everything mom managed somehow to chuckle! The sound of the helicopter was beginning to close in on us.
“Well, Keith,” she said to the baby, “I always wanted to go for a helicopter ride. How about you?”
“You did great, Laurie.” Mom told me. “Absolutely great.”
“Well, I guess I did okay,” I answered her. “But it’s like you said, Mom, you did all the work!”
Even after everything mom managed somehow to chuckle! The sound of the helicopter was beginning to close in on us.
“Well, Keith,” she said to the baby, “I always wanted to go for a helicopter ride. How about you?”
~~~20~~~
~~~Written by Dagmar~~~
I was never more grateful than I was the day that it was Laurie instead of I who ended up stuck in that traffic jam. I have been known to panic at times under duress whereas Laurie always seemed more down to earth and level headed. But thankfully, both mom and the baby were okay.
I was finally able to reach dad on the phone just as he was finishing up the TV show, which was right after Laurie called to tell me that both mom and baby had been whisked away to the hospital by helicopter. Dad flew home immediately, courtesy of Oprah’s own private jet. Yep, we were high class now for sure!
I immediately began trying to find work. Arcadia had been right when she said they would be looking for teachers in the suburbs of Devonshire. They were, but that didn’t make getting one of the positions any easier. For every good teaching job there were a good many number of candidates looking to teach. And I was also in for a rude awakening as my idealism regarding teaching was quickly shot down.
I was finally able to reach dad on the phone just as he was finishing up the TV show, which was right after Laurie called to tell me that both mom and baby had been whisked away to the hospital by helicopter. Dad flew home immediately, courtesy of Oprah’s own private jet. Yep, we were high class now for sure!
I immediately began trying to find work. Arcadia had been right when she said they would be looking for teachers in the suburbs of Devonshire. They were, but that didn’t make getting one of the positions any easier. For every good teaching job there were a good many number of candidates looking to teach. And I was also in for a rude awakening as my idealism regarding teaching was quickly shot down.
For example, take the first interview I went on. It had seemed to be going well enough as I explained my theories about teaching and how important it was to help mold today’s youths. Then we got to the end of the interview.“But what about the test,” I was asked.
“What test?” I replied.
“You have to make sure the kids pass the test. It’s this no child left behind. The most important thing these days is making sure all the kids pass the test.”
“I certainly don’t intend to leave any of my students behind but what about getting them to expand their knowledge, to think for themselves, to develop an interest in what they are learning beyond answer a, b, c, or all of the above?” I replied.
“All that is fine,” he answered, “As long as enough students pass the test so that we don’t lose government funding.”
The interview ended there. The next interview went almost exactly the same way. I explained why I wanted to teach, how I would teach, and then I was again asked about THE TESTS. The interview of course, went nowhere and it became apparent that if I didn’t change my opening act, I was going to close before ever making it to Broadway.
So by the time I applied for the job at McKinley Elementary, I had learned my lesson. I was interviewed by the Superintendent of Schools, James Murphy.“Your college credentials are excellent,” Mr. Murphy told me. “What I’d really like to know is what you believe is the most important challenge facing us as educators.”
This time, having rewritten my opening monologue, I was more ready than Jay Leno or David Letterman. “I think the most important thing, is to make sure that enough students pass the standardized test. If I can accomplish that, then it helps the school keep its accreditation and financial support.”
Mr. Murphy smiled at me. “Excellent! Excellent!” he told me. As I left he shook my hand and told me it looked promising. Twenty four hours later I received a phone call telling me I was hired. I would be teaching second graders at McKinley elementary.
The next thing on my list was to find an apartment of my very own. As large as our home was it was still quite crowded and with the birth of Keith, was becoming even more so. Then there was Laurie’s friend Angela. I was beginning to think mom and dad had somehow adopted her. Or then again, perhaps Laurie was Peter Pan and Angela was her lost shadow that had been sewn back on.
On the nights she would sleep over, I would make myself comfortable on the couch in Dad’s study. Mom had wanted to put the twin beds back up in Laurie’s room, probably hoping I would stay through the summer, but I told her that although I loved the Mother Hen and the Papa Rooster dearly, it was time for this little chick to fly away from the chicken coop and find a hen house of my own.
The first few apartments I looked at were certainly affordable. But they were old, and not very well maintained The fact that there was a dead cockroach in the refrigerator at one of the apartments wasn’t particularly endearing either.
Finally I came to Greenbriar Apartments. As the apartment manager, Mrs. Walker, showed me around, I tried not to appear too enthusiastic but the minute I walked in I knew it was exactly what I wanted. It was a newer apartment building, and the available apartment she showed me was relatively spacious and had two bedrooms. There was also a swimming pool out back which made it even more attractive.“How much is the rent?” I asked her.
“Eight hundred a month,” she told me. “And that doesn’t include utilities. There’s also an eight hundred dollar security deposit. And you’ll need references”
I quickly added up in my head what my salary from the school would be then made a few quick subtractions. It was manageable, and I had more than enough in savings to cover the first months rent and the deposit. There would even be enough left over to buy a few furnishings of my own. Nothing extravagant, but I would get by.“I’ll take it, Mrs. Walker,” I told her.
“Fine,” she said. “Let’s go down to my office so that you can fill out the application.”
In her office, as I filled out the papers, Mrs. Walker was friendly. As I wrote, she told me some of the general rules, and what my responsibilities were as far as upkeep. I and any visitors I had could use the pool, but no children were to be left unsupervised. And if any visitors of mine were using the pool, I had to accompany them. The rest of the rules were about what anyone would expect at any apartment complex.
“I’ll check your references, and then I’ll let you know,” she told me. “I don’t see perceive any problems Miss. Baker. I believe you’re the first teacher we’ve ever had live here.”
“Please, call me Dag,” I told her. “Everybody else does.”
“I’m sure you’ll find Greenbriar much to your liking. All the tenants seem to get
along well together, and every once in a while they’ll gather by the pool for a little get together. That way you get to know your neighbors.”
I left the complex, and hadn’t been home for two hours when the phone call came from Mrs. Walker telling me I had the apartment.
“I got it!” I told mom as I sat down with her at the kitchen table.
“Please, call me Dag,” I told her. “Everybody else does.”
“I’m sure you’ll find Greenbriar much to your liking. All the tenants seem to get
along well together, and every once in a while they’ll gather by the pool for a little get together. That way you get to know your neighbors.”
I left the complex, and hadn’t been home for two hours when the phone call came from Mrs. Walker telling me I had the apartment.
“I got it!” I told mom as I sat down with her at the kitchen table.
She kind of frowned but then quickly forced it into a smile.
“When do you want to move in, Dag?” She asked.
“As soon as possible,” I told her. “Why don’t you and Dad come with me tomorrow when I sign the lease? You can see it then.”
“I don’t know, Dag. If Laurie doesn’t have anything planned already for tomorrow we will.”
I thought quickly. “Maybe you can give me some tips or ideas on decorating it,” I asked her. That seemed to lift mom’s spirits.
“I’d like doing that, Dag. I’d like it very much,” she answered.
So the next afternoon, I returned to Mrs. Walker's office to sign the lease. She gave me the keys and Mom, Dad and I headed up to the apartment. Of course, the first thing Mom did was give the apartment the white glove test.
“When do you want to move in, Dag?” She asked.
“As soon as possible,” I told her. “Why don’t you and Dad come with me tomorrow when I sign the lease? You can see it then.”
“I don’t know, Dag. If Laurie doesn’t have anything planned already for tomorrow we will.”
I thought quickly. “Maybe you can give me some tips or ideas on decorating it,” I asked her. That seemed to lift mom’s spirits.
“I’d like doing that, Dag. I’d like it very much,” she answered.
So the next afternoon, I returned to Mrs. Walker's office to sign the lease. She gave me the keys and Mom, Dad and I headed up to the apartment. Of course, the first thing Mom did was give the apartment the white glove test.
“It’s very clean, Dag.” She said, “But how do you plan on furnishing it? You don’t want to use all of your savings do you?”
“I don’t need much right now, Mom. Once I begin teaching at McKinley, I’ll buy things here and there. I thought we could bring some of my old things over from the house, like the twin bed set.”
“I’m sure we can find some things, for you Laurie. But you father has something for you that might help a little bit.”
Dad took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a check for five thousand dollars.
“Dad! I can’t take this! You always insisted that once we made it through college we would be on our own and handle our own financial responsibilities.”
“I don’t need much right now, Mom. Once I begin teaching at McKinley, I’ll buy things here and there. I thought we could bring some of my old things over from the house, like the twin bed set.”
“I’m sure we can find some things, for you Laurie. But you father has something for you that might help a little bit.”
Dad took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a check for five thousand dollars.
“Dad! I can’t take this! You always insisted that once we made it through college we would be on our own and handle our own financial responsibilities.”
“I did say that,’ he replied. “And I still mean it. This is just a little something to help you get started. Think of it as a graduation present. I know you, Dag, and I know you’ll be responsible.”“But…..” I tried to protest.
“If you don’t take it you’ll hurt my feelings, Dag. Now just go and spend it, and put some furniture in this place. There is one catch though.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“That you never bring anyone like Andy home again.” he answered laughing.
“You can count on it, Dad.”
Mom did help me furnish the apartment, including picking out some nice paintings to hang on the walls. The days we spent picking out furnishings was the most fun we had had together in ages. I was almost sorry to be finished as we stood in the apartment surveying our work.“It looks great, mom,” I told her.
“It does look nice, dear. But this is your apartment, and it’s time for me to leave. You’re on your own completely, now.”
“You don’t have to run off so quick,” I told her.
“Joe’s been taking care of the kids by himself for the better part of a week now; I think he deserves a break.”
I walked over and hugged her. “Tell Dad, thanks again. And thank you mom! Whenever you need to get away for a while to take a break from Dad and the kids, just come on over. You don’t even have to call or anything.”
“I will, Dag. Don’t worry, I won’t be a total stranger,” then she laughed, “But I won’t be Ray Romano’s mother either.”
We both had a good laugh at that.
After she left, I stood alone in my apartment. I realized I hadn’t tried out the pool yet so I decided that this was as good a time as any. I quickly changed into a suit, and went down to the pool carrying a drink and a book with me. There was nobody else there, so I dived in and swam for quite a while before climbing out and drying myself off. I then proceeded to sit in a lounge chair, sip on my drink and began to read.
“I will, Dag. Don’t worry, I won’t be a total stranger,” then she laughed, “But I won’t be Ray Romano’s mother either.”
We both had a good laugh at that.
After she left, I stood alone in my apartment. I realized I hadn’t tried out the pool yet so I decided that this was as good a time as any. I quickly changed into a suit, and went down to the pool carrying a drink and a book with me. There was nobody else there, so I dived in and swam for quite a while before climbing out and drying myself off. I then proceeded to sit in a lounge chair, sip on my drink and began to read.
I had been reading for quite a while and had started to reach for my drink to take a sip when I saw a young boy of about six or seven standing next to me staring at me. He was a cute little kid with flaming red hair.“You’re very pretty, lady,” he told me.
“Thank you,” I replied. “That’s a very nice compliment. Do you live here?”
“Yep, I live here. Right across from your place. I saw you go in your apartment one day, so that’s how I know.”
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Ron. It’s short for Ronald. But don’t call me Ronald ‘cause I don’t like it. Some people call me Ronnie and thats okay too I guess.”
“Okay, Ronnie. My name is Dagmar Baker but everybody calls me Dag. You can call me that if you want.”He smiled. “Okay, Dag. That’s a cool name. I’ve never met anyone called Dag before.”
“Do you have a last name, Ronnie?”
“Hamilton. There’s a lot of Hamilton’s in the phone book because I looked once.”
“Where are your parents, Ronnie,” I asked. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be out at the pool by yourself.”
“It’s okay, Dag. I can swim real good. My mom taught me when I was very little.”
“Is your mom at home now,” I asked.
“No,” he answered. Then he looked down at the ground. “My mom died. I just live with my dad. She was very sick and she might be up in heaven but I don’t know for sure.”
“I’m sorry, Ronnie,” I told him. “I’m sure your mother is up in heaven.”
“It’s okay, Dag. Everybody always says their sorry when someone dies. We haven’t lived here very long,” Ronnie told me. “After mom died, Dad was kind of sad because our old apartment always made him think of mom so we moved here. We have a housekeeper, only today is her day off. She usually brings me down to the pool.”
“Where’s your father?”
“He’s making an important phone call to the Television station that he runs. Sometimes he takes me there so I can see all the cameras and stuff. Was that your mom I saw with you going into your place.” He asked. “She’s pretty too.”
“Yes it was,” I told him.
“Where’s your father?”
“He’s making an important phone call to the Television station that he runs. Sometimes he takes me there so I can see all the cameras and stuff. Was that your mom I saw with you going into your place.” He asked. “She’s pretty too.”
“Yes it was,” I told him.
“She doesn’t look like you though,” he said.
“Well, Ronnie, my first mother died when I was very young. Then Bettie adopted me so I was able to have two moms.”
“That’s kind of cool,” he said. Then he stopped as if he was thinking about something. “Does that mean my Dad could get married again? He’s been kind of sad since mom died so maybe if I helped find him a new wife he’d be happy again.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “It doesn’t quite work that way, Ronnie. I think your dad has to find himself a wife when he thinks he’s ready.”
“Well, Ronnie, my first mother died when I was very young. Then Bettie adopted me so I was able to have two moms.”
“That’s kind of cool,” he said. Then he stopped as if he was thinking about something. “Does that mean my Dad could get married again? He’s been kind of sad since mom died so maybe if I helped find him a new wife he’d be happy again.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “It doesn’t quite work that way, Ronnie. I think your dad has to find himself a wife when he thinks he’s ready.”
“But I can help him, can’t I,” he asked.
“Sure, I’m sure you could Ronnie.”
It was at this time that a man came around the corner and approached us. He was not overly handsome but tall and relatively good looking with dark hair. He was dressed in a blue business suit, and was obviously someone who took pride in his appearance.
“Hi, Dad!” Ronnie said. “I was just talking to Dag.”
“I can see that,” he said. “Are you ready to go out for dinner, Ronnie?”
“Yeah! I’m so hungry I could eat a house,” he said.
It was at this time that a man came around the corner and approached us. He was not overly handsome but tall and relatively good looking with dark hair. He was dressed in a blue business suit, and was obviously someone who took pride in his appearance.
“Hi, Dad!” Ronnie said. “I was just talking to Dag.”
“I can see that,” he said. “Are you ready to go out for dinner, Ronnie?”
“Yeah! I’m so hungry I could eat a house,” he said.
“Well go on back to the apartment, pardner. I’m sure you’ve bothered Dag long enough.”“I wasn’t bothering her Dad. We were just talking. She’s pretty, dad, don’t you think?”
“Yes, Ronnie, she is. Now go get cleaned up and I’ll be there in just a second.” Ronnie ran off and then Ron’s dad turned towards me holding out his hand.
“I’m Glenn. I’m sorry if Ron was bothering you.” He told me.
“Not at all,” I told him, “He’s a very nice boy, Glenn.”
“Thanks,” he told me. “Some people don’t like kids bothering them, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t being a pest.”
“No, he wasn’t. I enjoyed talking to him. You might want to keep a closer eye on him though.”“What do you mean?” Glenn asked.
I tried to be tactful but sincere in answering him. I was remembering my own childhood brush with death that had occurred in a swimming pool.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to let him run around the pool area unsupervised. He could fall in and get hurt.”
“Ronnie is a very good swimmer,” Glenn told me. “I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”
“That may be,” I replied, “But kids do have accidents. You were just lucky I was here. And besides, I’m sure that Mrs. Walker told me children aren’t allowed in the pool area unsupervised.”
“I don’t need you to read the terms of my lease to me, Dag.” He said as if he were a little irritated. “He wasn’t down here but for a few minutes, and as I said, Ronnie can swim quite well.”
“I wasn’t trying to read the terms of your lease, Glenn.” I was getting quite irritated with him. “But you should show some parental responsibility.”
“Look lady, don’t worry about it,” he said. I knew when he said lady he was just as irritated as I was. “I will be sure not to let Ronnie come down to the pool area unsupervised in case it should offend your sense of world order.”
“There’s no need to be nasty, Mr. Hamilton” I decided that two could play at this game. We were definitely getting off on the wrong foot.
“There’s no need to be nasty, Mr. Hamilton” I decided that two could play at this game. We were definitely getting off on the wrong foot.
“Do what you wish, but the next time there might not be anybody down here to keep an eye on him, and there are plenty of parents who regret letting their kids around pools by using the excuse that it would only be a few minutes while they talked on the phone. And speaking from experience, many of them end up regretting it. Now if you will excuse me, I have to be going.”I grabbed my book and my glass and headed towards my apartment. The only thing I could think of was how did such a nice good natured kid such as Ronnie, get stuck with an arrogant, ignoramus of a father, even if he was good looking.
~~~21~~~
~~~Narration by Dag~~~
A few days later I was down by the pool once again, when Ronnie showed up, this time accompanied by an elderly woman.
“Hi Dag!” Ronnie said. “I’m going swimming. Mrs. Charles is here to watch me! Dad said if I saw you to make sure you knew that.”“Okay, Ronnie!” I told him. I could just think that Glenn had a good laugh telling him to do that. As Ronnie dove into the pool the woman came over to where I was sitting to chat.
Her name was Ada Charles, had been a friend of the Hamilton family for years, and had been particularly close to Joyce, Glenn’s deceased wife. When she had died, Ada had become their housekeeper and Ronnie’s nanny for all intents and purposes.
“I guess you and Glenn didn’t hit it off so well,” she told me. “He was still fuming about it the next day.”
“I guess I was a little harsh,” I told her.
“No you weren’t, Dag. I’ve told him and told him about keeping an eye on Ronnie but sometimes it goes in one ear and out the other. Of course, ever since Joyce died, he’s not really been the same person. He’s kind of lost himself in his work.”“How did she die?” I asked.
“Cancer. It was quick. She had skin cancer and it went undetected for too long and spread to the rest of her body. Glenn took it very hard. Ronnie, it’s hard to say.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“During all the time that she was sick, and even when she died that boy did not shed one tear. I think it’s like an inner defense mechanism. If you don’t acknowledge what has happened, you don’t have to come to terms with it. He’s always more worried about his dad then himself.”
“I know what you mean. When my own mother died, I cried for days and then I was angry at the world.”
“How old were you when she died,” Joyce asked. I quickly told her the basics of the story.
“Dagmar! Dagmar Baker! That’s who you are! I don’t know why I didn’t put two and two together!” she said. “Well I’ll be darn! I never thought I’d be meeting you.”“Do you know me?” I asked quite puzzled.
She picked up the book she had laid down on the table. “You’re the Dagmar Baker in this book!”
I looked at it and saw quickly that it was Dad’s book. I laughed. “Well, I guess you do know me. But as you read further into the book you’ll find that just about everyone calls me Dag now.”
“I saw your father on Oprah a couple of weeks ago.” she continued. “He’s quite a handsome man. And I just love the book and he’s giving all the money to charity. You should be very proud of him.”
“I am,” I told her. “He’s a good man.” She hesitated as if she wanted to ask me something.
“When I finish the book, do you think you could get him to autograph it for me?”
“Sure,” I told her laughing. “Just bring it to me when you’re finished.”
“Well, I hope one of these days Glenn finds someone just as your father did. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to replace Joyce though.” Ada had suddenly made me feel guilty about the argument I had with Glenn. I decided I would apologize given the chance.We sat and talked for about an hour before she told me she had to go get dinner. She hollered for Ronnie to get out of the pool.
“Can’t I stay a while longer?” he asked running up to her.
“Go ahead,” I told her. “I’ll keep an eye on him and bring him home when I get ready
to come in.”
“Are you sure you won’t mind Dag? I don’t want Ronnie to be any trouble.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll be happy to do it.” She left us alone but Ronnie made no move to get back into the pool so I climbed out of the lounge chair, and sat in the chair previously occupied by Ada so we could talk man to man or in this case woman to boy.
to come in.”
“Are you sure you won’t mind Dag? I don’t want Ronnie to be any trouble.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll be happy to do it.” She left us alone but Ronnie made no move to get back into the pool so I climbed out of the lounge chair, and sat in the chair previously occupied by Ada so we could talk man to man or in this case woman to boy.
“Don’t you have to work?” he asked. “Most grownups have to work.”“I’m a schoolteacher. I’ll start working in August when school starts back up. What grade are you in, Ronnie?”
“I’ll be in second grade. Dad says I’ll be going to McKinley elementary.”
“Then you’ll be in my class, Ronnie.”
He made a face. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? Wouldn’t you want me to be your teacher?”
“Teachers are teachers,” he answered. “You’re not supposed to be friends with them.”
I laughed. “Well, what do you say we make an exception in this case?”
“What’s an exception?”
He made a face. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? Wouldn’t you want me to be your teacher?”
“Teachers are teachers,” he answered. “You’re not supposed to be friends with them.”
I laughed. “Well, what do you say we make an exception in this case?”
“What’s an exception?”
“That just means it’s okay if I’m your teacher and you’re my friend.” I told him.
He thought about it for a moment. “I guess it would be okay Dag. But I’ll have to call you Miss Baker at school, won’t I.”
“Yes, I suppose you will,” I told him. “But you can still call me Dag the rest of the time.”
He thought again. “Well, just don’t tell the other kids you’re my friend. They’ll call me teacher’s pet and stuff like that.”
“Okay, Ronnie. It’ll be our secret!” I told him. “And Ronnie, if you ever want to come over and visit me that’s okay too. I always have some homemade cookies. And bring Mrs. Charles with you.”
He thought about it for a moment. “I guess it would be okay Dag. But I’ll have to call you Miss Baker at school, won’t I.”
“Yes, I suppose you will,” I told him. “But you can still call me Dag the rest of the time.”
He thought again. “Well, just don’t tell the other kids you’re my friend. They’ll call me teacher’s pet and stuff like that.”
“Okay, Ronnie. It’ll be our secret!” I told him. “And Ronnie, if you ever want to come over and visit me that’s okay too. I always have some homemade cookies. And bring Mrs. Charles with you.”
“Uh….what about Dad?” he asked.
“You can bring him too if he wants to come. Somehow I don’t think he will though.”
“Okay, thanks Dag.” He told me.
I walked Ronnie back to his apartment then headed home.
“You can bring him too if he wants to come. Somehow I don’t think he will though.”
“Okay, thanks Dag.” He told me.
I walked Ronnie back to his apartment then headed home.
Two days later, I baked a cake and took it over to the apartment after I was sure Glenn had come home. I knocked on the door and he answered.“Oh, it’s you.” he said. He sounded none too happy to see me. “Uhhh…come on in, Ronnie’s in his room.”
“I wanted to apologize for the way I talked to you the other day,” I told him after placing the cake down. “So I baked you and Ronnie this cake to kind of make up for it.”
“I wanted to apologize for the way I talked to you the other day,” I told him after placing the cake down. “So I baked you and Ronnie this cake to kind of make up for it.”
“That’s okay,” He told me. “I guess I should have
known better then to let Ronnie go down by the pool alone. I’m sorry we got off to such a rocky start.”
known better then to let Ronnie go down by the pool alone. I’m sorry we got off to such a rocky start.”We stood there awkwardly for a moment. “Ronnie tells me you manage a TV station. Which one?” I asked.
“KXTT,” he answered. “Ronnie tells me you’re a teacher and that you’ll be teaching at his school.”
“Yes. It’ll be my first teaching job.”
“KXTT,” he answered. “Ronnie tells me you’re a teacher and that you’ll be teaching at his school.”
“Yes. It’ll be my first teaching job.”
“Hi Dag!” It was Ronnie, who had come running out of his bedroom.“Hi Ronnie!” I told him.
“Ronnie, Dag baked you a cake,” Glenn told him.
“Ummmm….Dag, I love cake. Can I have a piece, dad?”
“Not right now, you can have a piece after dinner.” Glenn told him.
Ronnie made a face. “Okay, I’m going to go feed my fish.” He ran back into his bedroom.
“Can I offer you a drink, Dag?” Glenn asked.
“No, that’s okay. I can’t stay, but thanks for offering. But if there’s anything you need or that Ronnie needs, don’t hesitate to ask. He’s a great kid, and I’d love to………”
I never finished the sentence. At that moment there came a loud and piercing continuous scream from Ronnie’s room. So loud I nearly jumped out of my skin. Without giving it a thought, both Glenn and I raced into the bedroom.Ronnie was standing at his fish tank, and he continued to scream. His body was shaking, as if there were a worn out motor inside of him. There was a dead fish floating on top of the fish tank.
“RONNIE! RONNIE! WHAT’S WRONG,” Glenn yelled while grabbing him by the shoulders.“HE’S DEAD, HE’S DEAD,” Ronnie managed somehow to say in between the screams while pointing to the fish tank. Glenn stood up and reached into the fish tank, pulled out the dead fish and ran towards the bathroom.
I stooped down and grabbed the still screaming Ronnie. “Ronnie! Ronnie! It’s okay.” I told him pulling him towards me, just as Glenn came back into the room. Glenn literally pushed me out of the way. “RONNIE!” he yelled. “Stop it! Stop it.” He gave Ronnie a quick shake and it helped snap him out of it but his breat
h was coming in huge giant sobs.“Whh….whh…..whhh…..what…..did…..you do with him, dad?”
“It’s wasn’t a him, Ronnie. It was an it, and I took it and I flushed it down the toilet. Ronnie, you’ve got half a dozen other fish there and they’re all alike!”
Ronnie continued to sob, trying to catch his breath “It’s O….oo…Okay…dad!”
As Ronnie sobs began to lessen Glenn stood up.
I grabbed Ronnie and put my arms around him to continue to comfort him. “Is it because of your mother, Ronnie? Did it remind you of your mother!”“Yess….yess…...” he told me. And as so many years ago Bettie had comforted me, I did the same for Ronnie. Glenn simply stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him. “It’s okay, Ronnie,” I told him. “It’s okay to cry. Go ahead and cry if you want to.” And he did. Huge wracking sobs, until he was cried out. When he was finally calmed down, I managed to help him get ready for bed, waited until he was asleep then turned out the light to leave.
Glenn was pouring himself a drink in the living room. He looked as if he had just been through a war but he also looked angry.
“I finally got him calmed down, he should be okay,” I told him.
“It was just a fish!” he literally yelled it at me, startling me enough so that I took a step backward. “It was just a damn fish! And his mother is his mother!”
“I know that, Glenn! But he needed to cry, he needed to let it out.” I told him as I did my best to keep calm despite his misplaced anger. I couldn't understand how a parent could be so heartless.
“Then he should be crying over the right things, not some stupid dead fish that I have to nag him into taking care of.”
“It doesn’t always work that way, Glenn!” I yelled back at him. “Ronnie has been holding back his tears for his mother so long he had to let them out some how!”
“You can not cry the same over a damn fish as you can over a person.” He yelled back at me.
“Glenn! Can’t you calm down? I was only trying to help!”
“Well thank you for your help. And thank you for your very helpful cake! But I don’t need your help and neither does Ronnie. We’ll be just fine!”
He literally spat the words at me.If he had slapped me he couldn’t have hurt me any worse. “I’m sorry,” I said trying to hold the tears back. “I won’t bother you again.” I literally ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind me then quickly running into my own apartment. Once there, the tears began to flow freely.
~~~22~~~
~~~Narration by Glenn~~~
After Dag ran out of the apartment, I sank down onto the couch. I was close to tears myself, not to mention the fact that I felt about two feet tall for the way I hadyelled at her. The truth was I wasn’t angry at Dag at all. I was angry at myself. I was angry at myself because she had understood what Ronnie was going through and I hadn’t. It was the first time Ronnie had cried since Joyce had died and I never understood why.
When Joyce was alive, she took care of Ronnie’s basic needs most of the time while I worked. That’s not to say Ronnie and I didn’t do things together, but she had a knack for understanding kids that I didn’t, almost like a sixth sense. My work took up much of my time, and Joyce had always understood that. When she died, a part of me died with her, and unlike Ronnie, I had cried long and often. I was still learning to be
both a mother and a father to Ronnie, and so far I was failing miserably.
I looked up as Ronnie came walking slowly out of the bedroom with his head down.
“I thought you had gone to sleep,” I told him softly.
“I heard you yelling at Dag,” he told me. He stood standing there for a second. “Dad, I know you’re hurting inside. I know you miss mommy.”
And it was then that my own tears began to trickle down as Ronnie ran over and climbed onto my lap.“I do miss her, Ronnie. But I know you miss her just as much as I do. I’m sorry if I keep messing things up for us.”
“It’s okay dad,” he said while looking at me for the first time. “You’re not messing things up.”
“It’s okay to miss mommy,” I told him. “We’ll miss her for a very long time and sometimes it’s going to hurt quite a lot. But we have each other to get us through this.”
“When will it quit hurting so bad, dad?” he asked me.
“It will take a while, but as long as you know you can talk to me about what you’re feeling, and I can talk to you about what I’m feeling, we’ll both be okay. So let’s agree to always talk to each other, no matter what.”
“Okay, dad!” he said hugging me tighter. “I love you dad.”
“I love you too, Ronnie,” I told him.
~~~23~~~
~~~Narration by Laurie~~~
In his novel, A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens wrote that it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. And that more than anything else describes my life during the summer that bridged the gap between my junior year of high school and my senior year.
When I had helped deliver mom’s baby in the van and after overcoming my initial fears, having Angela there on the phone more or less cheering me on while giving me the doctor’s instructions helped to boost my confidence. I was in total awe of the experience. I had seen babies born in the movies before, but until you’ve actually witnessed a birth, it’s just not the same thing. And unlike many of the women I had seen in movies, Mom had stayed calm throughout. Was there anything not to admire about her? It was something I would remember for a long time.
My only regret was that I wasn’t allowed to ride in the medical helicopter with mom and Keith to the hospital. It was another anxious hour before traffic finally started moving. I did finally call Dag to tell her what was going on. She had reached Dad in Chicago, and he was on his way home. When I arrived at the hospital, I quickly found out that both mom and Keith were just fine. And oh yeah, Oprah sent ten new baby outfits just for Keith.
Then there were the other matters in my life that I had put on the back burner but would sooner or later have to be dealt with. . Two days after Kurt had gone to Hawaii he wrote me a quick email. I was thankful that it was run of the mill stuff with him telling me how he was spending his days. I wrote him back telling him to have a great time while he was out there. Later he wrote again, a longer email and I couldn’t help but feel that he sounded kind of bored and lonely or both, which was not a good mix of emotions for someone who fancied themselves to be in love. This time I wrote back a long letter telling him about Dad’s appearance on Oprah, and how I had helped to deliver Keith in the van.
As for Gail, although we still talked on the phone I saw little of her and at times felt as if we were drifting apart. She had taken a part time job helping out at the restaurant that Marcella managed, and the rest of her time was occupied with Chuck. Of course with Kurt in Hawaii there was no reason for us to double date. I made up my mind that before summer was over I would have to find some time to spend with Gail. We had been friends for most of our lives, and it was a friendship I did not want to give up.
With Dag having moved into her own apartment, Angela began staying over with me quite a bit more. I had felt guilty about Dag having to camp out in Dad’s study when Angela would stay, so more often than not we would end up at her home for the evening.
As for Angela’s father, ever since Mom had given birth in his van, he seemed to have loosened the tight reins he had held on Angela for so long even more. I think it was a pay off to keep Angela from talking too much about how he had reacted in that particular emergency. Angela obliged by waiting until her dad wasn’t around to fill her mom in on the details. “That’s your father, all right,” she had laughed.
When school had finished for the year, Angela had finished with one of her highest point averages for any grading period, all of which she attributed to me. Angela’s low grades were not the result of her not trying or not being intelligent, but when you switch schools so often and things are taught differently everywhere you go, it takes a while to pick up on things. Once I got her on track she had done the rest herself.
Besides working out together, Angela and I would spend time at the movies, shopping at the mall, or playing video games at the arcade. I had never been much of one for video games, but Angela was quite adept at them. I began to enjoy them also, and looked forward to the time I could compete with the likes of Chuck, Kurt, or even my little brother Frank.
I asked Angela how she had managed to become so adept at so many things. “Laurie, when you don’t have any friends to hang with you can either sit at home and mope about it in front of the television, or you can find other ways to make good use of your time. I chose to do the latter.”
I had begun looking forward to my workouts with Angela. I had always been a bit weak in the physical education department, but as time went on I felt I was in better shape than I had ever been. As my strength grew, Angela adjusted my workout accordingly. For the first time in my life I also began taking more care in what I ate, eating a lot less double cheeseburgers and a lot more fruits and vegetables.
The best day of all was when we spent a day at Magic Mountain. All of our working out and exercise certainly paid off that day. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Magic Mountain, but to get from place to place there is a lot of standing in line and a whole lot of walking – almost all of it uphill. That added to the fact that Angela was a much better companion than Gail had been when we would go to the amusement park. Gail ha
d always been worried about such things as ruining her makeup or her hair being blown out of place or whether this hottie or that hottie was eyeballing her. Angela had no such worries, and it was absolutely the best day I had ever spent at the park.
Late that evening after returning from the amusement park we hung out in my room, just as we had all summer and relived the day’s events.
“Honestly, Laurie, I thought I was going to throw up before we got off The Scream the first time.”
I laughed. “Well, at least it wouldn’t have gone all over the floor since the darn thing doesn’t have a floor! And did you see that girl in front of us almost pass out!”
“Yep, what a weenie,” she told me. “I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun!”
“You’ve been to amusement parks before, haven’t you,” I asked.
“A long time ago when I was very young my parents would take me. As you get older, it’s not too cool to be seen riding all the rides with your parents. Mom and Dad don’t care too much for amusement parks anyway, and I never really had anyone to go with until now.”
“But look at all the other great places you’ve been. You’ve seen the Eiffel Tower, stood outside Westminster Abbey, and have been to the Vatican. That’s more than most people get to do in a life time.”
She thought about it for a moment. “Laurie, I don’t know if you’ll believe this or not, but I’d trade the Eiffel Tower and the Vatican just to have another day like today.”
I laid there watching her silently for a long time. It’s hard to describe what I was feeling. I felt as if I was on the highest of highs. She was the most important person besides my family that I had ever had in my life, and I cared about Angela in ways I never thought possible to care about anyone. This was different than my relationship with Gail had been. Gail and I had our good days and bad days, and her continual primping and Chuck worshipping was sometimes a turnoff. And Gail and I had never felt the necessity of hanging out together every single minute of every single day.
It was just the opposite with Angela. I wanted to be around her all the time. On the occasions that summer when she had to be at home to do something with her parents, I became the ultimate clock watcher. It was as if Angela and I had tuned into this secret radio frequency, one which played music only the two of us could hear.
“Other than Kurt’s Cousin Mitch, did you ever date? Surely at least one guy must have asked you.” Angela had often talked about her lack of friends, but she had never mentioned whether or not she had dated someone, even for a short time.
Angela didn’t answer me right away. “Well, I hav
e been asked on occasion. But I just wasn’t interested in any of the guys doing the asking.....both of them,” she laughed and I chuckled along with her. “And I also didn’t want them to have to go through the hassle of putting up with Dad for no reason. By the time you got Mitch to take me to the prom with you guys, Dad wasn’t as bad as he used to be or I wouldn’t have made one of your friends go through that nonsense either. And it felt good being able to be part of a group for a change, especially when your best friend is a part of that group. I did it to please you.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to Angela. I felt a tremendous amount of sadness that she had gone through her life with practically no one. But there was something else that I was feeling.
At that very precise moment I wanted to reach out and hold her, to draw her close to me as if somehow doing so would help me to ease the pains of loneliness she had suffered over the years. But it was more than that. I wanted to feel her body close to mine, to hold her in much the way Kurt had held me the night before he had left for Hawaii. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, hoping the desire would pass quickly.
“I’m kind of tired Angela, I think we ought to turn in,” I said as I quickly jumped up off of the floor.
“I am too,” she said, hopping into the bed. “Do you think we could go to Magic Mountain again before summer is over?”
“Sure,” I said smiling at her. “We’ll go again sometime soon.” I was hoping she hadn’t noticed how nervous I had become.
She turned over and in no time was asleep. For me it was much more difficult, but eventually I too fell into a deep slumber to be disturbed only by the dream.
I did not dream of fighting the bad guys with Xenia. I did not dream of winning a tennis match against the Williams Sisters, or even of assisting Madame Curie in some new scientific discovery. I dreamed of the day I had just spent with Angela. I relived every moment of the whole wonderfully perfect day and it was only when it came time for us to leave the park that things took a very different turn.
In my dream, as we left the park I did hold her in my arms just as I had wanted to when we were lying together on the floor. I felt her body close to mine. I felt every thump of her beating heart and it was as if my heart was beating in unison with it. I felt the warm softness of her skin touching mine. When I looked into Angela’s eyes, it
was as if they were piercing into my very soul. And as I looked, I felt the desire to kiss her. I held one arm on her waist, then gently with the other hand I pulled her face toward mind and started the kiss.
But the kiss was never completed. The spell was broken when suddenly mom, dad, and my whole family gathered around us, pointing at us accusingly, taunting us with slurs, while all the time they continued to laugh. And then Norma appeared, Norma who had slit her wrists on the football field. She was taunting me also. “See, see, they’ll do it to you too. And there will be no one there for you just like there was nobody there for me. Then you’ll be sorry.”
I quickly awoke. My body was covered in perspiration. Angela lay next to me snoring softly. In my sleep I had rolled over close to her and my arm draped awkwardly across her waist. I quickly scooted over to the other side of the bed, and sat up.
“It was just a dream. It didn’t mean anything. It was just one of those things,” I told myself. These were the things I kept repeating to myself. Angela was a good close friend, nothing more and that was that. I was just getting carried away with my feelings of friendship with her. It was a curiosity thing, something all girls probably thought about at one time or another but had good sense not to act on it. My friendship with Angela was no different than my friendship with Gail, or even Kurt for that matter.
But Kurt was not the one for me to be thinking about. For everything I was feeling towards Angela was everything I had tried so hard to feel when I was with Kurt. They were feelings that I had not even come close to experiencing before. I climbed back under the blankets, this time being careful to stay as far away as possible from the still sleeping Angela. In the morning, I was almost glad that Angela had to run home to help her mom do some house cleaning. It would give me time to collect myself and to sort things out. I thought I might talk to Mom who could then tell me such thoughts were just a phase, that it didn’t necessarily mean much of anything. But I knew I wouldn’t because I was afraid that’s not what she would say, especially when after a little prodding I would have to admit it wasn’t the first time I had thought of such things or had such desires
As if trying to sort out my feelings about Angela weren’t bad enough, there was a new email on the computer from Kurt:
Dear Laurie,
You were right. The time I have spent away from you here in Hawaii has helped me put things into perspective, but probably not in the way you think. What I have found is that I still miss you, perhaps more than you’ll ever realize. I had been so looking forward to us spending this summer together, a summer where perhaps our relationship could grow bit by bit. If I could, I would fly home tomorrow just to be with you, but that is out of the question as neither mom or dad would allow it.
When I go to bed at night, I think of you. When I dream at night, I dream of you, and I awaken each day with thoughts of you and wondering what you are doing and if you are missing me as much as I’m missing you.
I know you have told me time and time again that for us to be anything more than very close and good friends was futile.
I do my best to remember that, but my feelings toward you continue to override any attempts at logic. Can thinking about things rationally override what I’m feeling in my heart? I guess it would depend on how strong those feelings are, and what I feel for you in my heart is overpowering any attempts at looking at the situation with the kind of analytical logic that you suggest. I can only hope that someday, you will feel about me in the same way. Perhaps you already do, but that you continually wish to deny such feelings because somehow those feelings would detour you from the career path you have chosen.
I look forward to returning home in a month, and to being with you again. I look forward to it more than you will ever know. Perhaps together, we can sort through these things.
Always,
Kurt
After reading Kurt’s email, I swallowed hard. I did not know what to write back to him. To tell him in an email that we shouldn’t see each other again would be cold and cruel, but waiting another month for him to return home and to tell him might make things that much more difficult. I turned off the computer but I made no effort to move away from the desk.
Everything that Kurt had written to me in his email about the feelings he had, were the same emotions I was feeling toward Angela. Yet, I continued to deny those feelings, to try and convince myself that with Angela it was different because she was a friend unlike any that I had ever had or thought of having.
The truth was staring me in the face, but I refused to accept it or even think about it. It was the same truth I continually denied when I looked at the posters in my room. It was the same truth I denied when my dreams went beyond sword fighting with Xena and Gabrielle. I had managed to convince myself that the reason the posters of Mia Hamm, and the Williams hung in my room, was because that I admired their accomplishments so much. That was true, but there was more to it than that, much more, but I would never
admit it to myself, and had convinced myself that admiration was the one and only reason they hung above my desk. But then what accomplishments did an imaginary hero like Xena have?
There were none at least none that weren't the fictional exploits dreamed up in the head of television screewriter, and yet I had been totally captivated by the idea of Xena, and had often looked at her poster wishing she was real, that she was somebody I would want to spend day after day with. And yes, there had been other feelings toward her in my dreams, other desires that I had continually denied because they were just dreams and nothing more. Can anyone control what they dream? And weren't dreams no more than bits and pieces of your life strung together in ways that meant nothing once you were awakened?
I closed my eyes. I convinced myself that my thoughts from the night before were a fluke an idea borne out of a special moment and nothing more. It would pass. It meant nothing. It had to mean nothing. I turned back on the computer and wrote to Kurt.
Dear Kurt,
I am flattered so much that you miss me as much as you do. I look forward to your return so that we can talk, for the tone of your letter makes me believe there is much to discuss about our relationship. I understand what you are saying in your letter, and I can appreciate your feelings. I do not mean to sound as if I don’t care. I do care, Kurt. But these are things we should talk about when we are face to face, not through cyberspace.
I do understand, Kurt, although sometimes I know you must think that I don’t. You have been kind, sweet, caring, and a wonderful guy. You have treated me like no other boy ever has. I really don’t deserve you, but I am glad that I know you and that you have been in my life.
Please think carefully about what you are feeling. Don’t put me on a pedestal where I don’t belong. I don’t deserve it. Please take care Kurt, and I do look forward to your return.
Always your friend,
Laurie
It took me a while to hit the send button but finally I did.
I spent the rest of the afternoon helping Mom with Keith and by doing some housecleaning. At one point she asked me if something was bothering me and I told her no, that I was still tired from my day at Magic Mountain. I knew mom wasn't buying it though. She always knew when we were covering something up.
When we were finished, I went upstairs to soak in the hot tub. It turned out to be very relaxing and calming. Yet, just as earlier I was glad that Angela had to run off, I once again found myself hoping she would call and tell me she was on the way back over especially now that I felt as if I had sorted things out and taken control of the situation. I was not disappointed, as Mom stepped out into the yard to holler at me that Angela had called and said she was on the way. I jumped out of the hot tub and quickly went to get dressed.
In the two weeks that followed, the dream did not repeat itself. Whenever any thoughts like the ones I had that night crept into my mind, I would quickly brush them away. If Angela had noticed a change in me, she didn’t say anything.
Kurt had written me back, and although his feelings were still evident in his letters, he seemed somehow to be keeping them in check.
Then, on one fateful afternoon, something happened that changed everything.
Every morning, at nine o’clock, on the few nights she didn’t sleep over with me, Angela would show up ready for our morning workout. I decided by ten o’clock that she must have been delayed by her parents for some reason. By eleven, I began to get worried and called her house.
Her mom answered the phone. “Can I speak to Laurie, Mrs. Jordan.” I asked.
“Laurie, could you call back a little later. We’re having a family problem at the moment.”
“Sure, Mrs. Jordan,” I said and hung up the phone. I wasn’t positive but I could have sworn that I heard Angela crying in the background. I had no clue as to what kind of problem they were having at home, but I only hoped it wasn’t anything too serious.
I didn’t know how long I should wait to call back but I finally decided that Angela would call me when she could. I turned on my TV and tried to concentrate on it but it was difficult. As it was, Angela never did call, but instead showed up unexpectedly as she came bursting into my bedroom door, tears streaming down her face. I immediately jumped up off the couch.
“Angela! What is it? What’s wrong?” I said grabbing her.
“Oh, Laurie. It’s awful,” she said. She could barely speak through the tears.
“Angela, please! Tell me what’s wrong!” I pleaded.
“It’s Dad!” she sobbed.
“Is he sick, is something wrong with your father?” I asked.
“No, he’s being transferred out again. I…I….Mom and I have to go with him.”
“For how long, Angela?” I asked, although the truth was already staring me in the face. She continued to cry. “For how long Angela? ” I repeated myself this time literally yelling the words in desperation.
“We’re moving again. We won’t be coming back!” she finally said.
It’s difficult to write how I felt at the moment Angela said those words. All the joy of the summer, the moments I had spent with her, the mountain of happiness that I had climbed to the top of, came crashing down as if an earthquake had suddenly taken them out from under me.
“No, Angela, No,” I told her shaking my head in disbelief. “You aren’t leaving, you can’t leave! I won’t let you leave! Can’t you and your mom stay here?”
“No. If Dad was just going to be away for a month or even a few months we could. But he’s going to be gone for over a year. When he is gone that long, he insists that we go with him. I tried to talk to him, to make him understand, that for the first time ever I have a real friend and a real life.”
“What did he say Angela?” I asked her.
“He said he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do about it. Oh God, Laurie, I hate him, I hate him.!”
I know she didn’t entirely mean the words she had just said. But at that moment, I hated him too. I hated the army, I hated everything and everybody that was taking Angela away from me. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to me. I was fighting to hold back my own tears now.
“How….how…long… before you have to leave,” I asked her.
“Just three days, Laurie,” she told me. “And I have to spend most of those three days helping mom and dad pack.”
“You don’t have to go. You can stay here. My mom and dad will let you stay here.” I told her. I was desperate.
“But my dad won’t. He insists we stay together as a family. It doesn’t matter to him how miserable I am, or what I’m feeling. Does he care about how difficult this is for me? Every time I finally get used to being somewhere, we leave. I kept hoping, kept praying that this time would be different. I tried to even believe that this might not happen again! It’s always hard, Laurie, but never as hard as it is this time. I just want to die!”
“You don’t want to die,” I told her. “You’ll get through this.” I tried to be convincing, but I was not even sure that I would get through it.
“Laurie, I don’t want to lose you!” she said. “I’ve never had a friend like you, not a close friend that I could share things with and talk to or want to be with everyday.”
She reached over and hugged me and I hugged her back. We cried, on each other shoulders. I didn’t want to let her go.
“You won’t lose me! I’ll always be your friend Angela! I’ll write to you every day, and I’ll call you!”
I held her close to me. I didn’t want to let her go. I wouldn’t let her go. And all I could think of was how unfair and how cruel the world was.
“I have to go,” she told me. “Mom and Dad are expecting me back home so we can get started packing.”
“I’ll come over and help you,” I told her.
“No Laurie, don’t. I’m going to be an emotional wreck as it is. It’ll just make it that much harder. I’ll come and see you just before we leave.”
“Just like that?” I asked her.
“No, Laurie! Not just like that dammit! Don’t you see how hard this is for me? I want you there, more than anything, but I don’t know how I’ll survive leaving if you’re there. I couldn’t survive it. I have to do it this way. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but if you care about me at all you’ll let me do it this way.”
“I do care about you Angela.” But her words were like a punch in the face. For all intents and purposes, this was goodbye. She started to walk towards the door, but I stopped her and grabbed her and held her again.
“It’s not fair, Angela. It’s not,” I cried.
“I know it isn’t Laurie. But who said life was fair. I’ve never known it to be. Not in my entire life. I’ll never forget you Laurie. I love you.”
“I love you too, Angela. I’ll never forget you either” I said softly. I had never spoken those words in that way to another girl. Gail and I had said them on occasion, but it was more of a friendly “love ya” than anything else. It was as if saying it to someone of your own gender, in that way, with that meaning was shameful and never to be done.
I took my hand and tried to brush her tears away as if somehow that would help. For the first time she smiled at me as if it would bring me comfort. Then just as I had imagined doing so just two short weeks ago, I brushed her hair aside, and without a thought, and without hesitation, I kissed her on the lips. It was quick, fast, and more of a peck than a real kiss. She looke
d at me in a funny strange and odd sort of way but she made no move to leave. I kissed her again, and this time she returned the kiss. And then there was a third kiss, even longer than the other two, and it was as if we were discovering ourselves and each other for the first time. In those three little kisses, I felt more passion, more love, and more heartache than I had experienced in the thousands of kisses I had shared with Kurt. And just as quickly as we kissed, we quickly broke apart.
And we stood there, looking at each other, as if neither one of us were sure of what we had just done, or what we had just shared, or if we would ever admit that such a thing had really happened.
“I have to go,” she told me quickly and turned to leave. I simply nodded. The tears that filled my eyes were blurring my vision. She had already reached the stairwell when suddenly she ran back toward me, wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her.
“I love you Laurie, and I wo
n’t forget you. Not ever” she whispered. She kissed me quickly on the cheek and turned again. This time she did not look back but walked briskly towards the stairs. And just as Angela Jordan had entered my life like a rampaging tornado, she left leaving behind the remnants of an exploding volcano.
Click Here to Continue Reading Laure and Dag
When I had helped deliver mom’s baby in the van and after overcoming my initial fears, having Angela there on the phone more or less cheering me on while giving me the doctor’s instructions helped to boost my confidence. I was in total awe of the experience. I had seen babies born in the movies before, but until you’ve actually witnessed a birth, it’s just not the same thing. And unlike many of the women I had seen in movies, Mom had stayed calm throughout. Was there anything not to admire about her? It was something I would remember for a long time.
My only regret was that I wasn’t allowed to ride in the medical helicopter with mom and Keith to the hospital. It was another anxious hour before traffic finally started moving. I did finally call Dag to tell her what was going on. She had reached Dad in Chicago, and he was on his way home. When I arrived at the hospital, I quickly found out that both mom and Keith were just fine. And oh yeah, Oprah sent ten new baby outfits just for Keith.
Then there were the other matters in my life that I had put on the back burner but would sooner or later have to be dealt with. . Two days after Kurt had gone to Hawaii he wrote me a quick email. I was thankful that it was run of the mill stuff with him telling me how he was spending his days. I wrote him back telling him to have a great time while he was out there. Later he wrote again, a longer email and I couldn’t help but feel that he sounded kind of bored and lonely or both, which was not a good mix of emotions for someone who fancied themselves to be in love. This time I wrote back a long letter telling him about Dad’s appearance on Oprah, and how I had helped to deliver Keith in the van.
As for Gail, although we still talked on the phone I saw little of her and at times felt as if we were drifting apart. She had taken a part time job helping out at the restaurant that Marcella managed, and the rest of her time was occupied with Chuck. Of course with Kurt in Hawaii there was no reason for us to double date. I made up my mind that before summer was over I would have to find some time to spend with Gail. We had been friends for most of our lives, and it was a friendship I did not want to give up.With Dag having moved into her own apartment, Angela began staying over with me quite a bit more. I had felt guilty about Dag having to camp out in Dad’s study when Angela would stay, so more often than not we would end up at her home for the evening.
As for Angela’s father, ever since Mom had given birth in his van, he seemed to have loosened the tight reins he had held on Angela for so long even more. I think it was a pay off to keep Angela from talking too much about how he had reacted in that particular emergency. Angela obliged by waiting until her dad wasn’t around to fill her mom in on the details. “That’s your father, all right,” she had laughed.When school had finished for the year, Angela had finished with one of her highest point averages for any grading period, all of which she attributed to me. Angela’s low grades were not the result of her not trying or not being intelligent, but when you switch schools so often and things are taught differently everywhere you go, it takes a while to pick up on things. Once I got her on track she had done the rest herself.
Besides working out together, Angela and I would spend time at the movies, shopping at the mall, or playing video games at the arcade. I had never been much of one for video games, but Angela was quite adept at them. I began to enjoy them also, and looked forward to the time I could compete with the likes of Chuck, Kurt, or even my little brother Frank.I asked Angela how she had managed to become so adept at so many things. “Laurie, when you don’t have any friends to hang with you can either sit at home and mope about it in front of the television, or you can find other ways to make good use of your time. I chose to do the latter.”
I had begun looking forward to my workouts with Angela. I had always been a bit weak in the physical education department, but as time went on I felt I was in better shape than I had ever been. As my strength grew, Angela adjusted my workout accordingly. For the first time in my life I also began taking more care in what I ate, eating a lot less double cheeseburgers and a lot more fruits and vegetables.The best day of all was when we spent a day at Magic Mountain. All of our working out and exercise certainly paid off that day. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Magic Mountain, but to get from place to place there is a lot of standing in line and a whole lot of walking – almost all of it uphill. That added to the fact that Angela was a much better companion than Gail had been when we would go to the amusement park. Gail ha
d always been worried about such things as ruining her makeup or her hair being blown out of place or whether this hottie or that hottie was eyeballing her. Angela had no such worries, and it was absolutely the best day I had ever spent at the park.Late that evening after returning from the amusement park we hung out in my room, just as we had all summer and relived the day’s events.
“Honestly, Laurie, I thought I was going to throw up before we got off The Scream the first time.”
I laughed. “Well, at least it wouldn’t have gone all over the floor since the darn thing doesn’t have a floor! And did you see that girl in front of us almost pass out!”
“Yep, what a weenie,” she told me. “I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun!”
“You’ve been to amusement parks before, haven’t you,” I asked.
“A long time ago when I was very young my parents would take me. As you get older, it’s not too cool to be seen riding all the rides with your parents. Mom and Dad don’t care too much for amusement parks anyway, and I never really had anyone to go with until now.”
“But look at all the other great places you’ve been. You’ve seen the Eiffel Tower, stood outside Westminster Abbey, and have been to the Vatican. That’s more than most people get to do in a life time.”
She thought about it for a moment. “Laurie, I don’t know if you’ll believe this or not, but I’d trade the Eiffel Tower and the Vatican just to have another day like today.”I laid there watching her silently for a long time. It’s hard to describe what I was feeling. I felt as if I was on the highest of highs. She was the most important person besides my family that I had ever had in my life, and I cared about Angela in ways I never thought possible to care about anyone. This was different than my relationship with Gail had been. Gail and I had our good days and bad days, and her continual primping and Chuck worshipping was sometimes a turnoff. And Gail and I had never felt the necessity of hanging out together every single minute of every single day.
It was just the opposite with Angela. I wanted to be around her all the time. On the occasions that summer when she had to be at home to do something with her parents, I became the ultimate clock watcher. It was as if Angela and I had tuned into this secret radio frequency, one which played music only the two of us could hear.
“Other than Kurt’s Cousin Mitch, did you ever date? Surely at least one guy must have asked you.” Angela had often talked about her lack of friends, but she had never mentioned whether or not she had dated someone, even for a short time.
Angela didn’t answer me right away. “Well, I hav
e been asked on occasion. But I just wasn’t interested in any of the guys doing the asking.....both of them,” she laughed and I chuckled along with her. “And I also didn’t want them to have to go through the hassle of putting up with Dad for no reason. By the time you got Mitch to take me to the prom with you guys, Dad wasn’t as bad as he used to be or I wouldn’t have made one of your friends go through that nonsense either. And it felt good being able to be part of a group for a change, especially when your best friend is a part of that group. I did it to please you.”I wasn’t sure what to say to Angela. I felt a tremendous amount of sadness that she had gone through her life with practically no one. But there was something else that I was feeling.
At that very precise moment I wanted to reach out and hold her, to draw her close to me as if somehow doing so would help me to ease the pains of loneliness she had suffered over the years. But it was more than that. I wanted to feel her body close to mine, to hold her in much the way Kurt had held me the night before he had left for Hawaii. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, hoping the desire would pass quickly.
“I’m kind of tired Angela, I think we ought to turn in,” I said as I quickly jumped up off of the floor.
“I am too,” she said, hopping into the bed. “Do you think we could go to Magic Mountain again before summer is over?”
“Sure,” I said smiling at her. “We’ll go again sometime soon.” I was hoping she hadn’t noticed how nervous I had become.
She turned over and in no time was asleep. For me it was much more difficult, but eventually I too fell into a deep slumber to be disturbed only by the dream.
I did not dream of fighting the bad guys with Xenia. I did not dream of winning a tennis match against the Williams Sisters, or even of assisting Madame Curie in some new scientific discovery. I dreamed of the day I had just spent with Angela. I relived every moment of the whole wonderfully perfect day and it was only when it came time for us to leave the park that things took a very different turn.In my dream, as we left the park I did hold her in my arms just as I had wanted to when we were lying together on the floor. I felt her body close to mine. I felt every thump of her beating heart and it was as if my heart was beating in unison with it. I felt the warm softness of her skin touching mine. When I looked into Angela’s eyes, it
was as if they were piercing into my very soul. And as I looked, I felt the desire to kiss her. I held one arm on her waist, then gently with the other hand I pulled her face toward mind and started the kiss.But the kiss was never completed. The spell was broken when suddenly mom, dad, and my whole family gathered around us, pointing at us accusingly, taunting us with slurs, while all the time they continued to laugh. And then Norma appeared, Norma who had slit her wrists on the football field. She was taunting me also. “See, see, they’ll do it to you too. And there will be no one there for you just like there was nobody there for me. Then you’ll be sorry.”
I quickly awoke. My body was covered in perspiration. Angela lay next to me snoring softly. In my sleep I had rolled over close to her and my arm draped awkwardly across her waist. I quickly scooted over to the other side of the bed, and sat up.“It was just a dream. It didn’t mean anything. It was just one of those things,” I told myself. These were the things I kept repeating to myself. Angela was a good close friend, nothing more and that was that. I was just getting carried away with my feelings of friendship with her. It was a curiosity thing, something all girls probably thought about at one time or another but had good sense not to act on it. My friendship with Angela was no different than my friendship with Gail, or even Kurt for that matter.
But Kurt was not the one for me to be thinking about. For everything I was feeling towards Angela was everything I had tried so hard to feel when I was with Kurt. They were feelings that I had not even come close to experiencing before. I climbed back under the blankets, this time being careful to stay as far away as possible from the still sleeping Angela. In the morning, I was almost glad that Angela had to run home to help her mom do some house cleaning. It would give me time to collect myself and to sort things out. I thought I might talk to Mom who could then tell me such thoughts were just a phase, that it didn’t necessarily mean much of anything. But I knew I wouldn’t because I was afraid that’s not what she would say, especially when after a little prodding I would have to admit it wasn’t the first time I had thought of such things or had such desiresAs if trying to sort out my feelings about Angela weren’t bad enough, there was a new email on the computer from Kurt:
Dear Laurie,
You were right. The time I have spent away from you here in Hawaii has helped me put things into perspective, but probably not in the way you think. What I have found is that I still miss you, perhaps more than you’ll ever realize. I had been so looking forward to us spending this summer together, a summer where perhaps our relationship could grow bit by bit. If I could, I would fly home tomorrow just to be with you, but that is out of the question as neither mom or dad would allow it.
When I go to bed at night, I think of you. When I dream at night, I dream of you, and I awaken each day with thoughts of you and wondering what you are doing and if you are missing me as much as I’m missing you.
I know you have told me time and time again that for us to be anything more than very close and good friends was futile.
I do my best to remember that, but my feelings toward you continue to override any attempts at logic. Can thinking about things rationally override what I’m feeling in my heart? I guess it would depend on how strong those feelings are, and what I feel for you in my heart is overpowering any attempts at looking at the situation with the kind of analytical logic that you suggest. I can only hope that someday, you will feel about me in the same way. Perhaps you already do, but that you continually wish to deny such feelings because somehow those feelings would detour you from the career path you have chosen.
I look forward to returning home in a month, and to being with you again. I look forward to it more than you will ever know. Perhaps together, we can sort through these things.
Always,
Kurt
After reading Kurt’s email, I swallowed hard. I did not know what to write back to him. To tell him in an email that we shouldn’t see each other again would be cold and cruel, but waiting another month for him to return home and to tell him might make things that much more difficult. I turned off the computer but I made no effort to move away from the desk.Everything that Kurt had written to me in his email about the feelings he had, were the same emotions I was feeling toward Angela. Yet, I continued to deny those feelings, to try and convince myself that with Angela it was different because she was a friend unlike any that I had ever had or thought of having.
The truth was staring me in the face, but I refused to accept it or even think about it. It was the same truth I continually denied when I looked at the posters in my room. It was the same truth I denied when my dreams went beyond sword fighting with Xena and Gabrielle. I had managed to convince myself that the reason the posters of Mia Hamm, and the Williams hung in my room, was because that I admired their accomplishments so much. That was true, but there was more to it than that, much more, but I would never
admit it to myself, and had convinced myself that admiration was the one and only reason they hung above my desk. But then what accomplishments did an imaginary hero like Xena have?There were none at least none that weren't the fictional exploits dreamed up in the head of television screewriter, and yet I had been totally captivated by the idea of Xena, and had often looked at her poster wishing she was real, that she was somebody I would want to spend day after day with. And yes, there had been other feelings toward her in my dreams, other desires that I had continually denied because they were just dreams and nothing more. Can anyone control what they dream? And weren't dreams no more than bits and pieces of your life strung together in ways that meant nothing once you were awakened?
I closed my eyes. I convinced myself that my thoughts from the night before were a fluke an idea borne out of a special moment and nothing more. It would pass. It meant nothing. It had to mean nothing. I turned back on the computer and wrote to Kurt.
Dear Kurt,
I am flattered so much that you miss me as much as you do. I look forward to your return so that we can talk, for the tone of your letter makes me believe there is much to discuss about our relationship. I understand what you are saying in your letter, and I can appreciate your feelings. I do not mean to sound as if I don’t care. I do care, Kurt. But these are things we should talk about when we are face to face, not through cyberspace.
I do understand, Kurt, although sometimes I know you must think that I don’t. You have been kind, sweet, caring, and a wonderful guy. You have treated me like no other boy ever has. I really don’t deserve you, but I am glad that I know you and that you have been in my life.
Please think carefully about what you are feeling. Don’t put me on a pedestal where I don’t belong. I don’t deserve it. Please take care Kurt, and I do look forward to your return.
Always your friend,
Laurie
It took me a while to hit the send button but finally I did.
I spent the rest of the afternoon helping Mom with Keith and by doing some housecleaning. At one point she asked me if something was bothering me and I told her no, that I was still tired from my day at Magic Mountain. I knew mom wasn't buying it though. She always knew when we were covering something up.
When we were finished, I went upstairs to soak in the hot tub. It turned out to be very relaxing and calming. Yet, just as earlier I was glad that Angela had to run off, I once again found myself hoping she would call and tell me she was on the way back over especially now that I felt as if I had sorted things out and taken control of the situation. I was not disappointed, as Mom stepped out into the yard to holler at me that Angela had called and said she was on the way. I jumped out of the hot tub and quickly went to get dressed.
In the two weeks that followed, the dream did not repeat itself. Whenever any thoughts like the ones I had that night crept into my mind, I would quickly brush them away. If Angela had noticed a change in me, she didn’t say anything.
Kurt had written me back, and although his feelings were still evident in his letters, he seemed somehow to be keeping them in check.
Then, on one fateful afternoon, something happened that changed everything.
Every morning, at nine o’clock, on the few nights she didn’t sleep over with me, Angela would show up ready for our morning workout. I decided by ten o’clock that she must have been delayed by her parents for some reason. By eleven, I began to get worried and called her house.
Her mom answered the phone. “Can I speak to Laurie, Mrs. Jordan.” I asked.
“Laurie, could you call back a little later. We’re having a family problem at the moment.”
“Sure, Mrs. Jordan,” I said and hung up the phone. I wasn’t positive but I could have sworn that I heard Angela crying in the background. I had no clue as to what kind of problem they were having at home, but I only hoped it wasn’t anything too serious.
I didn’t know how long I should wait to call back but I finally decided that Angela would call me when she could. I turned on my TV and tried to concentrate on it but it was difficult. As it was, Angela never did call, but instead showed up unexpectedly as she came bursting into my bedroom door, tears streaming down her face. I immediately jumped up off the couch.
“Angela! What is it? What’s wrong?” I said grabbing her.
“Oh, Laurie. It’s awful,” she said. She could barely speak through the tears.
“Angela, please! Tell me what’s wrong!” I pleaded.
“It’s Dad!” she sobbed.
“Is he sick, is something wrong with your father?” I asked.
“No, he’s being transferred out again. I…I….Mom and I have to go with him.”
“For how long, Angela?” I asked, although the truth was already staring me in the face. She continued to cry. “For how long Angela? ” I repeated myself this time literally yelling the words in desperation.
“We’re moving again. We won’t be coming back!” she finally said.
It’s difficult to write how I felt at the moment Angela said those words. All the joy of the summer, the moments I had spent with her, the mountain of happiness that I had climbed to the top of, came crashing down as if an earthquake had suddenly taken them out from under me.
“No, Angela, No,” I told her shaking my head in disbelief. “You aren’t leaving, you can’t leave! I won’t let you leave! Can’t you and your mom stay here?”“No. If Dad was just going to be away for a month or even a few months we could. But he’s going to be gone for over a year. When he is gone that long, he insists that we go with him. I tried to talk to him, to make him understand, that for the first time ever I have a real friend and a real life.”
“What did he say Angela?” I asked her.
“He said he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do about it. Oh God, Laurie, I hate him, I hate him.!”
I know she didn’t entirely mean the words she had just said. But at that moment, I hated him too. I hated the army, I hated everything and everybody that was taking Angela away from me. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to me. I was fighting to hold back my own tears now.
“How….how…long… before you have to leave,” I asked her.
“Just three days, Laurie,” she told me. “And I have to spend most of those three days helping mom and dad pack.”
“You don’t have to go. You can stay here. My mom and dad will let you stay here.” I told her. I was desperate.“But my dad won’t. He insists we stay together as a family. It doesn’t matter to him how miserable I am, or what I’m feeling. Does he care about how difficult this is for me? Every time I finally get used to being somewhere, we leave. I kept hoping, kept praying that this time would be different. I tried to even believe that this might not happen again! It’s always hard, Laurie, but never as hard as it is this time. I just want to die!”
“You don’t want to die,” I told her. “You’ll get through this.” I tried to be convincing, but I was not even sure that I would get through it.
“Laurie, I don’t want to lose you!” she said. “I’ve never had a friend like you, not a close friend that I could share things with and talk to or want to be with everyday.”
She reached over and hugged me and I hugged her back. We cried, on each other shoulders. I didn’t want to let her go.
“You won’t lose me! I’ll always be your friend Angela! I’ll write to you every day, and I’ll call you!”
I held her close to me. I didn’t want to let her go. I wouldn’t let her go. And all I could think of was how unfair and how cruel the world was.
“I have to go,” she told me. “Mom and Dad are expecting me back home so we can get started packing.”
“I’ll come over and help you,” I told her.
“No Laurie, don’t. I’m going to be an emotional wreck as it is. It’ll just make it that much harder. I’ll come and see you just before we leave.”
“Just like that?” I asked her.“No, Laurie! Not just like that dammit! Don’t you see how hard this is for me? I want you there, more than anything, but I don’t know how I’ll survive leaving if you’re there. I couldn’t survive it. I have to do it this way. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but if you care about me at all you’ll let me do it this way.”
“I do care about you Angela.” But her words were like a punch in the face. For all intents and purposes, this was goodbye. She started to walk towards the door, but I stopped her and grabbed her and held her again.
“It’s not fair, Angela. It’s not,” I cried.
“I know it isn’t Laurie. But who said life was fair. I’ve never known it to be. Not in my entire life. I’ll never forget you Laurie. I love you.”
“I love you too, Angela. I’ll never forget you either” I said softly. I had never spoken those words in that way to another girl. Gail and I had said them on occasion, but it was more of a friendly “love ya” than anything else. It was as if saying it to someone of your own gender, in that way, with that meaning was shameful and never to be done.I took my hand and tried to brush her tears away as if somehow that would help. For the first time she smiled at me as if it would bring me comfort. Then just as I had imagined doing so just two short weeks ago, I brushed her hair aside, and without a thought, and without hesitation, I kissed her on the lips. It was quick, fast, and more of a peck than a real kiss. She looke
d at me in a funny strange and odd sort of way but she made no move to leave. I kissed her again, and this time she returned the kiss. And then there was a third kiss, even longer than the other two, and it was as if we were discovering ourselves and each other for the first time. In those three little kisses, I felt more passion, more love, and more heartache than I had experienced in the thousands of kisses I had shared with Kurt. And just as quickly as we kissed, we quickly broke apart.And we stood there, looking at each other, as if neither one of us were sure of what we had just done, or what we had just shared, or if we would ever admit that such a thing had really happened.
“I have to go,” she told me quickly and turned to leave. I simply nodded. The tears that filled my eyes were blurring my vision. She had already reached the stairwell when suddenly she ran back toward me, wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her.“I love you Laurie, and I wo
n’t forget you. Not ever” she whispered. She kissed me quickly on the cheek and turned again. This time she did not look back but walked briskly towards the stairs. And just as Angela Jordan had entered my life like a rampaging tornado, she left leaving behind the remnants of an exploding volcano.
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