Laurie & Dag: Part I

(Author's note: Hello, and welcome to the beginning of my second story written for this blog. If you are new you may want to know that this is in fact a sequel of sorts to The Kid & Me which is featured elsewhere and is in fact the story from which the web address derives its name. Is it absolutely necessary to read The Kid & Me to enjoy this one? Well, technically no. But you will be left in the dark a bit as to the story behind some of the events that occur here. It certainly will help you understand many of the characters much better and will enhance your enjoyment of this story greatly. If you would like to read The Kid & Me first, simply use the links in the right hand column. To everyone who has already read my work, thanks so very much and I hope you enjoy this sequel as much as you enjoyed The Kid & Me. The story is not recommended for pre-teens. This is not exactly the story that ran for over a year on the Sims 2 web site before it was banned. Much of the dialogue has been rewritten to clarify some matters. In other cases it was rewritten to give more edge to the proceedings. If you have any questions feel free to write to me at clydesplace@hotmail.com. Thanks for stopping by, and thank you for reading.)

~~Forward~~

Written by Laurie Baker

I’m sure that as you are standing in the bookstore perusing the pages of this book, the question that may be on your mind is why are the daughters of Joe Baker writing a sequel to The Kid & Me? What makes these two upstarts think they can write as well as their father and what do they hope to accomplish? And why after so many years have gone by, would they suddenly feel compelled to do it now?

The truth is, I’m not sure Dag and I can write a story with the same depth of emotion that rippled through the pages of The Kid & Me. The Kid & Me was not written by my father with any thought of it ever being read by the general public. The Kid & Me was my father’s personal love letter to his wife and our mother, Bettie Baker.

It was his own way of telling her how much he loved her, how much she had changed his life, and how her love for him had given him the things in life that he never thought possible. It would be an insurmountable task for us to top that, so we won’t even try. That is not our purpose.

In interview after interview Dad was asked time and time again, “When are you going to do a sequel?” or “What happened in the years that followed?” His answer was always the same: “There’s no more story to tell. I found what I was looking for in my life, and that is how the story ends.” And take my word for it, his answer was etched in stone.

One afternoon, when I was still in my early teens and before any of the events you are about to read took place, I was helping Dad sift through his fan mail. He sighed and handed me a letter. “Everybody wants a sequel, Laurie. If there is ever to be one, either Dag, you, Little Frank or one of the twins will have to write it. Your life is just beginning, so perhaps you will have your own story to tell some day. If some time in the future you do decide to become an author, just be honest in every word you write.” And that was the last time he ever spoke of a sequel.

So years later, after much discussion among the family, we have decided to do as our Dad wished. We are continuing the story so many of you have asked about. As it is, this turned out to be quite a collaborative effort, not just between Dag and me, but with added help from our mother Bettie, and a few others we met along the way. We each have our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own version of the the many events that would shape our lives forever.

So now that you know why it was written, you must also know now that it is time to begin.

~~~1~~~

~~~Narration by Laurie~~~

The house that day was as quiet as I could ever remember it being. Mom and Dad had taken Little Frank and the twins to Disneyland for the weekend. Dag was in her final year of college some five hundred miles away. It had taken quite a bit of talking, but I had managed to persuade my parents into leaving me behind. I had been to Disneyland quite a few times but as I entered my teen years, Magic Mountain had become my amusement park of preference. I welcomed the peace and the solitude, something that was very rare in our household. I could not remember a time when I had been in the house alone for more than a few minutes at a time. If the twins weren’t underfoot than little Frank was. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I loved them as one would love any brother or sister, but every teen needs their space at times.

Yet, despite how quiet it was, I was finding it difficult to study the Calculus text book I held in my hands. My thoughts continuously seemed to be wandering off into other territories besides school work

The portrait of my birth mother, Susan Pendleton, which hung above my bed kept drawing my gaze upwards. Dad was always telling me stories about how mom, he, and Grandpa Frank had grown up together.

They were funny and hilarious more often than not. Yet, Dad seemed to go out of his way not to speak of so many other things about my mom. He seldom spoke of the details of her death except to tell me that she died shortly after I was born from an illness unrelated to the birth. When I would try to question him about his relationship with her, he would simply say that he loved my mother and then he would quickly change the subject. It was more than obvious to me that just thinking about it troubled him tremendously so I seldom pushed him to elaborate any further.

I once asked him why my mom and he had not married if they loved each other as much as he seemed to.

“Our love for each other was different,” was the only answer he would ever give. And then I would see a tear start to form in his eye, and would let the matter drop.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I love my adopted mother, Bettie, in every way a child could possibly love a parent. As I was growing up, she was kind and gentle but always firm when she needed to be and always fair. I can’t remember her ever answering a question with those words that every kid dreads to hear, “You’ll do it because I said so.” She always had a reason and an explanation. That’s not to say you always agreed with it. Does any kid always agree with his or her parents?

The quiet of the house was suddenly shattered by the shrill ringing of the doorbell echoing through the empty home. I knew that it would be my best friend and confidante, Gail Lyons. Mom and Dad had given permission for me to have her over, and we had decided to spend the day swimming. I quickly closed the calculus book and headed down the stairs.

Physically, Gail was everything I was not. She was shapely and attractive, and could have any boyfriend of her choosing. Although at times I couldn’t help but admire her beauty and the way she carried herself, it didn’t really matter that much that I wasn’t in the same league as her because I was never into the dating scene. I had been out on very few dates, and those that I had ventured out on, I had done so more out of a need to fit in with the crowd than any overwhelming desire to have some guy constantly calling me on the phone or whispering silly and awkward phrases of love in my ear. And those few dates that I did go on were always disastrous.

As I opened the front door which led into the alcove, Gail came rushing in, not even waiting for a greeting.

“Jesus Christ, Laurie,” she said looking at me disapprovingly and heading for the stairs. “I thought you would at least have your bathing suit on already. What have you been doing?”

"I've been studying"

"Studying? On a Saturday morning? Do you really need to? Geez Laurie you're all A+ in everything. You'd probably get your A average if you never cracked opened another book in your life."

I ignored Gail’s sarcastic comment. “What’s the rush? We’ve got all day to swim.”

“The rush is that Chuck Easterman is on the way over, and he’s bringing Kurt Miller with him. That’s what the rush is.”

Gail could have just about any guy in school she wanted, and she had set her sights on grade A choice top of the line high school meat. Chuck Easterman was the star quarterback of the football team, a star forward on the basketball team, and a star outfielder on the baseball team. He was also arrogant, pompous, and stuck on himself way more than he was stuck on Gail. Kurt Miller was one his friends. It was seldom that you saw Chuck without Kurt or Kurt without Chuck. And like most of the other boys who crossed my path at school, I knew very little if anything about Kurt. I had little respect if any for someone who was nothing more than a Chuck Easterman lackey.

“GAIL! What are you doing inviting them over here? You know my mom and dad would have a fit if they knew I had guys over here while they were gone?”

“And how do you know that, Laurie? When was the last time they ever left you alone in the house?" Never, so you have no way of knowing whether they would object or not.”

On the surface, Gail’s reasoning may have sounded logical but as usual the substance of it was flawed. I couldn’t help but think this was all going to lead to trouble. Despite my misgivings, I decided it would probably be better to go along just to get along. Too much objection on my part would certainly become a prime gossip subject at school, spread through the grapevine not by Gail, but by either Chuck or Kurt. It wasn’t that I was totally unpopular at school, but I had heard that I was too much of an overachieving egghead for some of the kids.

“So why is Chuck bringing Kurt with him?” I asked.

“He wants to ask you out on a date I think. Or at least that’s what Chuck told me. I think he has a crush on you or something.”

“For crying out loud, Gail, I don’t even know him! I’ve seen him in the halls and stuff, but I’ve never even spoken to him. I can’t go out on a date with somebody I’ve never even talked to. And I’m certainly not going out on a date with a guy who’s nothing more than a charter member of the Chuck Easterman adoration society.”

Gail let out a huge breath. I could tell she was becoming exasperated with me. “And what does that make me, Laurie? It’s really about time that you climbed down off of your high horse and quit looking down your nose at everybody. Kurt just wants to talk to you, and then after that he will ask you out. It’s not like you would ever go out of your way to talk to any guy. And besides, aren’t you the one who is always telling me not judge a book by its cover?”

I frowned. It wasn’t often that Gayle could get one up on me but she had certainly succeeded this time by throwing my own words back at me. Gayle already knew she had won this argument.

“And while I’m at it,” she continued, “why don’t you have your contacts in? And what’s with the pony tail? Come on Laurie, get with the program!”

“I don’t like the contacts. They irritate my eyes. And I don’t like having my hair falling down in my face all the time!”

“Just do this for me, Laurie. It won’t be that painful. Gussy yourself up for Kurt a little bit. You are way overdue in the boyfriend department, and it’s not like you’re ugly or something. It’s just that you don’t even try most of the time. I mean anybody with your money…..”

I interrupted her. “My parent’s money, Gail.”

“Excuse me, your parent’s money, and with your looks you could have a hundred guys to choose from. Instead all you do is stay in your room and study. Geez…Laurie, what’s wrong with you? Not even one picture of a guy is hanging on your wall. You have a picture of the Williams sisters, some soccer chick, some old woman, and Xena on your wall. People will begin thinking you’re gay or something if you don’t snap out of it.”

“I’m not gay or something,” I replied vehemently. “I just have other priorities in my life, and for your information the old woman on the wall is Madame Curie, and soccer chick is Mia Hamm. And what’s wrong with admiring outstanding women of our own gender?”

“Nothing at all,” Gail answered, “As long as you aren’t dating one of them.”

“Sometimes Gail, you are just so idiotic and narrow-minded!”

“Yes, Yes, I know,” she said shoving me towards the bathroom and slamming the door behind me. “And I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.


“Hey now you know I don’t care who a woman dates,” She hollered at me through the door. But in this town, at our school, it would not be a wise course of action until Devonshire climbs out of the nineteenth century. You remembered what happened to Norma Riley don’t you?”

I knew exactly what she was talking about. In our last year at junior high, a rumor had gotten around that Norma Riley was gay, or as the kids put it at that time, a lesbo. She had been caught kissing a girl from another school underneath the bleachers in the gym. They insisted they had only done it on a dare, but from that day forward, Norma’s life became the constant butt of every awful gay slur one could think of, along with the usual awful taunts such as, “Hey, here comes Norma Van Dyke!” In the locker room, when Norma would walk in the girls would cover up with a towel and holler, “Cover up, we don’t want to give Norma any ideas!” Or sometimes one of the girls would drop a towel and ask, "Hey Van Dyke, do you think I'm hot?" And those were the lesser of the vulgarities they would taunt her with. Finally too afraid and unable to tell her parents or the faculty, Norma ended the cruelty herself by splitting her wrists on the fifty yard line of the football field late one night.

Of course, her parents and the faculty would be forever searching for the reasons why. And even though the students knew, nobody was talking including yours truly. I don't know how many of the kids actually felt guilty over what had happened but I did. I had nightmares about it for what seemed like an eternity. I could have tried to stop it as well as anybody but in the end had done nothing for fear of being labeled with the same stigma and suffering the same fate. Nothing was worth going through that hell.

Devonshire was one of those towns where everybody knew everybody. Everybody was extremely conservative, close-minded and backwards. The most telltale sign of just how backward the people in this town were was that seventy percent of them had voted for Bush not once, but twice.

After taking the pony tail out, giving my hair a quick brush, and then sliding my contact lenses in, I emerged from the bathroom. Gail had already had put on her swim suit.

“That’s much better, Laurie. Not perfect but it will do.” I shrugged my shoulders. It was better to have a little bit of approval then none at all.”

“I’ll talk to Kurt,” I told her. “But I don’t know about a date.”

“Whatever!” Gail replied throwing her arms up in exasperation. “Just be friendly for a change.” And right on cue the doorbell rang and Gail raced from the bedroom. I followed behind her from a distance.

By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, Gail had already let Chuck and Kurt into the house. They were both wearing their bathing suits. Chuck was laying a big wet one on Gail, but they quickly broke apart. The two boys looked around the home.

“Nice layout you have, Baker.” Chuck said while whistling his approval.

“It belongs to my parents,” was all I could manage. I know it was a dumb thing to say and Chuck wasted no time in letting me know about it.

“No kidding Baker! I didn’t think it belonged to you. But don’t worry; it might be someday when ma and pa Baker move on.” It was the kind of statement that made me absolutely hate someone like Chuck.

I gave Gail a look, and she mouthed the word, “Please!” So I didn’t say anything.

“It is a nice home, Laurie,” Kurt told me. There was a world of difference in the way Kurt said it. He at least sounded sincere whether he was or not. Maybe it wouldn’t be totally awful to spend the afternoon with him. Chuck and Gail walked back to the entrance way of the pool, and tried to open the locked door.

“What gives, Baker?” he asked.

“We keep it locked when it’s not being used because of the twins. My sister Dag almost drowned when she was little, so we don’t take any chances.”

“I got an idea, Baker. Why don’t you go get the key, so we can use the pool? I would have thought it would be unlocked already since you knew we were coming over,” Chuck said it as if he were the most brilliant person to walk the planet.

I gritted my teeth and walked into my parent’s bedroom to retrieve the key. I was almost back to the pool area when Chuck signaled for me to toss him the key. I thought about throwing it in his face, but changed my mind. I ignored him and walked over to the door to unlock it.

Chuck and Gail wasted no time jumping into the pool, but just as they did the phone rang. I walked over to answer it.


“Hi Laurie!” It was mom. I had expected her to call at some point during the day. I motioned to Gail and Chuck to quiet it down, but they didn’t pay any attention.

“Hi mom! How’s Disneyland?” was all I could think of. I would never be accused of having a knack for snappy conversation. I could just imagine what the day would be like trying to talk to Kurt.

“Disneyland is Disneyland,” she sighed. Mom sounded tired. She had just found out a week ago that she was pregnant again. That had inspired the trip to Disneyland before the pregnancy would begin showing. The house would be noisier than ever with another rugrat running around.

“What’s all that noise in the background, Laurie?” She asked. It was my moment of truth.

“We’re swimming mom,” I said hoping that answer would suffice but I somehow knew that it wouldn’t.

“I can tell that Laurie. Is it just you and Gail?” There was no point in lying. Mom had her radar ears on.

“Chuck Easterman and Kurt Miller are here too,” I told her.

“Laurie, you didn’t say anything about having boys over.”

“I know mom. It was a last minute thing.” It would have been easy for me to tell her that Gail had invited them over, but mom was already wary of Gail, and there was no sense in aggravating that situation.

“Well…..I suppose it’s alright. But don’t have them there after dark. I trust you Laurie. Use your best judgment. But next time let us know ahead of time. I just called to make sure everything was okay.”

“There won’t be any trouble. We’re just swimming, I promise.” I could hear one of the twins crying in the background telling mom to hurry up.

“Okay, Laurie. I have to go. We’ll be home tomorrow evening sometime. Love you, sweetie.”

“Love you too, mom.” I heard the phone click on the other end and hung it up.

Chuck and Gail were still frolicking in the pool, but what they were doing had little to do with swimming. Kurt was sitting along side of it. I took a deep breath and sat down in a chair next to him.

“Why aren’t you going in?” I asked.

“Ahhhh…don’t want to spoil their fun,” he said.

I guess if you were to describe Kurt, most girls would probably say he was good looking. Not quite as rugged as Chuck, and certainly didn’t seem to be as loud and boisterous.
We sat there in silence by the pool for what seemed to me to be an eternity, but was in reality only four or five minutes. Chuck and Gail were spending more time necking than doing anything else. I began wishing the house was once again as empty as it had been several hours ago and hoped it would be again soon.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Kurt finally asked.

“I talk plenty when I know somebody well enough. I might just talk their head off once I know them,” I replied.

It made him laugh. For the first time, I began to look at him. He certainly seemed friendly enough, but I still felt no strong magical attraction.

“Then maybe we can get to know each other so you can talk my head off,” he said. “I’m sorry about Chuck being so obnoxious. I know he gets on your nerves. He doesn’t mean anything personal by the stuff he says. Chuck treats everybody the same way.”

“Then why do you hang with him?” I asked.

“Oh, why does anybody hang with someone these days? To fit in, be a part of the crowd everybody else wishes they were part of.”

“That’s terribly shallow,” I said.

“You’re right, it is. But it’s the way things are and I’m not the one who set the ground rules. You can either be part of the group or not, and if you’re not it can be a long four years of high school.”

“I don’t consider myself one of the crowd,” I told him. “At least I certainly haven’t made any effort to be part of it. Nobody’s bothered me”

Kurt laughed again. “Well, I guess you could say you’re a special case. You’re the smartest girl in school, everybody knows that. You’re parents have more money than just about anybody in this town ever dreamed of having. Your sister Dag was certainly one of the most popular girls in school from what I hear. Sometimes circumstances make you part of the school elite whether you want to be or not.”

I frowned. I knew what he was saying was true. Being a brain didn’t make you special. Being rich didn’t make you special. But being a brain, being rich, and having a sister who was prom queen once made you acceptable by default sometimes. I began to wonder if I had followed up on my notion to go to a private school whether things would be different. I doubted it.

“What are you going to do with your A triple plus average after high school?” Kurt asked.

“You know Kurt,” I said angrily, “Can you tell me what the crime is in the fact that I want to study hard and make something out of my life? I know good and well that you’re on the honor role just as I am but you won’t see anybody talking about your “Triple plus average” because you’re a guy and you’re on the football team. Talk about a double standard. You say "Triple A Average” as if I've committed some horrendous sin.

“Okay, okay,” he said hurriedly as if that would somehow help yank his foot out of his mouth. “I’m sorry. You’re right, absolutely right. I should have asked what your plans are when you graduate and left it at that.” He actually seemed sincere, or at least sincere enough that it calmed me down.

“Hopefully I can eventually become a surgeon one of these days. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.”

“Wow, I am impressed,” Kurt answered. “Why become a surgeon? Did seeing George Clooney on E.R. suddenly inspire you? And any special type of surgery that you are thinking about?”

“Neurosurgery,” I told him and was going to chide him on his chauvinism but thought better of it. “My birth mother died of a brain tumor.”

“You’re mother?" He sounded puzzled. "Then you’re adopted? I didn’t know that.”

The truth was, not many of the kids at school knew that my mother had died after my birth. Gail was one of the few who did, but it was something I didn’t particularly want talked about or publicized. Gail had her many faults, but she was loyal to me and had done as I asked. I wasn’t really sure why I had talked to Kurt about it except that after only a few moments of being together, I felt and hoped there was more to him than being a lackey for Chuck.

“It’s not something I prefer to talk about,” I continued. Joe is my real father; Bettie adopted me after they were married. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make this a big conversation topic around school and especially around Chuck. It’s just something that’s painful for me to talk about”

“My lips are sealed,” he said running an imaginary zipper across his lip. “But….,” Kurt let the word momentarily linger in the air.

“But what?” I asked.

“Well, it might help me keep my mouth sealed if you would go out with me next weekend, maybe to a movie or something.”

“That’s blackmail,” I told him. He was smiling.

I had a feeling that if I said no he would still keep his agreement. “Why do you want to go out with me? I’m sure there are a dozen cheerleaders just waiting in line to go out with you”

Kurt didn’t hesitate answering. “Because you’re different than the other girls at school and I mean that as a compliment. You’re smart; you don’t act goofy and silly or fawn over all the guys just because they can score a touchdown or shoot a three point basket. When you finally start talking, you do carry on a half way decent conversation. You try to be your own person. And you’re actually kind of cute.”

Now it was my turn to finally smile. Having a boy tell you that you were cute was usually the kiss of death. In other words it meant you would never be pretty or drop dead gorgeous. But being a model was certainly not a career choice for me so I didn’t mind. I decided to give in and go on the date.

“I’ll go out with you,” I told him, “But if I didn’t you would have still kept your promise, wouldn’t you?”

He laughed. “Yeah, I’d have kept it.”

I looked over at the pool. Gail and Chuck had emerged and were headed toward the door.
“Where are you two going,” I asked.

“To the hot tub,” Gail answered.

“No Gail, we shouldn’t be using the hot tub!” The truth was I used it all the time when I wanted to relax but I knew relaxing was not what Gail and Chuck had in mind.

“Get a grip, Baker,” Chuck said. “We’re not going to hurt your precious hot tub, and we’re not going to be doing anything out in the open that would get us arrested. You should have the hot tub inside too. Now, chill.”

“If her parents don’t want us using the hot tub then maybe you shouldn’t, Chuck.” I looked at Kurt as I was surprised that he had taken a stance against Chuck.

Gail and Chuck stood at the doorway glaring at me. I sighed. Years ago the hot tub had been inside but when Dad had purchased the pool table, the hot tub found residency outdoors. I was now very grateful for the pool table that I seldom used.
“Just go,” I said waving them off.

Gail mouthed the word thanks and they headed to the second floor balcony.

“Do you want to go with them?” Kurt asked.

“Not particularly. Let’s go for a swim.” I turned and ran toward the pool, and dove in head first. Kurt was right behind me.


By the time the two boys left, it was almost dark. Gail had decided to spend the night. The day with Kurt had gone well, a lot better than I had expected. We talked a lot about school, movies, music, and some of the girls he had dated. I did likewise, but talking about my dates only took us five minutes.

After a long swim we had gone up to the patio where we grilled some hamburgers and basically just hung out while Chuck and Gail continued on in the hot tub. Even Chuck finally became half way civil and I suspected that Gail had somehow managed to instill some momentary wisdom in him that probably dissipated the moment he left the premises.

As for later in the evening, Gail and I sat in my room watching an old Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart movie that had been remade with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormond called Sabrina. This was the first time I had seen either version. Gail said it was great for a black and white movie, I thought it was kind of goofy no matter what colors it was in. I just wasn’t buying the premise. And there was absolutely no way in the world that I could believe Audrey Hepburn could actually be attracted to an old fart like Humphrey Bogart.

“Thanks,” she told me as I turned off the TV.

“For what?” I asked.

“For putting up with Chuck today, for saying you’d go out with Kurt. I know Chuck can get on people’s nerves sometimes but he’s not really like that when we’re alone.”

“I wouldn’t know about that now would I? As for Kurt, he’s okay I guess. He’s friendly enough. I don’t mind going out with him. Really though, I still don’t know what you see in Chuck.”


Gail sighed. “Look Laurie, you have everything you need in life. Your parents are rich, so you don’t lack for anything. You’re going to college, and even if your parents couldn’t pay for it, you’d get there on a scholarship. You’ve got it made. My dad left us before I was even born. My mom has struggled all her life, sometimes working two or three jobs just to get by. I’m certainly not going to be getting any scholarships, and I can’t get a loan because if I flunked out I’d spend the rest of my life paying it back. All I have are my looks and my figure going for me. Chuck is going places. He’s going to be a big shot athlete and I intend for him to take me along for the ride. He’s my ticket out of this one horse town."

She paused for a second then added as if it were an afterthought, “And I do love him whether you believe it or not.”

The truth was I didn’t believe her. I thought she was more or less trying to convince herself she was in love. It didn’t really matter what I thought anyway. I turned out the light and climbed into bed.

“Anyway,” Gail said as she turned over. “Thanks for being my friend.”

“You’re welcome,” I answered. “Thanks for being my friend too.”

She yawned and then laughed. “You’re welcome.” In five minutes Gail was asleep. It took me a while longer. I was attempting to get with the program as Gail would say. I tried to picture Kurt and me as a romantic couple of some kind, but the picture just wouldn’t become visible in my brain. I sighed, and started to drift off to sleep, dreaming I was Xena fighting the forces of evil instead with the beautiful Gabriel by my side doing my every bidding.

I was woken early the next morning by the shrill ringing of the telephone. I groggily pulled myself out of bed to answer it.

“Hello,” I said letting out a big yawn.

“Hi Laurie, it’s me Dag,” the voice came back to me.

“Dag! You haven’t called in ages! Mom and Dad were starting to get worried!”

“Classes are keeping me real busy and I fell behind a little bit. I’m caught up now. How are you doing sis?”

“Fine. I kind of miss not having you around to talk to.” Though only slightly older than me, Dag had helped to raise me almost as much as mom and dad. I could always talk to her about things I couldn’t talk to my parents about. She had been in college for almost four long years now, and I had missed her terribly. We emailed each other regularly but it wasn’t the same as hearing her voice.

“I miss you too Laurie. I know I should call more often, and I’ll try to. Are mom and dad up?”

“They aren’t here. They’ll be back tonight. They went down to L.A. to take the kids to Disneyland before mom becomes too pregnant to do anything.”

Dag laughed. “Yes, I got mom’s email about having another one."

I wanted to congratulate her and to tell her I’ll be coming home for a visit in a couple of weeks. But just for the weekend”

“A visit! Dag, you never visit anymore unless it’s Christmas or the summer. You didn’t even come home for Easter last year.”

“Well, I’m bringing a friend with me. He’s a professor from another college.”

“A friend type of friend, Dag, or a boyfriend type friend?”

“He’s kind of special, Laurie. But just tell mom he’s a friend.”

“Okay, I can do that,” but in the back of my mind I knew that neither mom or dad would buy the fact that Dag bringing a guy home in the middle of the term would mean he was just a friend.

“When will you be here?”

“In two weeks, on Friday evening. Mark it on the calendar.” I could hear a male’s voice in the background but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. “I have to run, Laurie. I can’t wait to see all of you!”

“I can’t wait to see you either, Dag. Love ya sis!”

“Love you too, sis,” she answered and hung up the phone.

Well, this was certainly something interesting to tell my parents when they came home. I looked at the clock, saw it was only seven and climbed back into bed.

~~~2~~~

~~Narration by Dag Baker~~

Although Laurie was only guessing about my motives for calling home, and had no real way of knowing whether she was right or wrong, I’d have to say she was a pretty good guesser. Laurie was a lot like mom in a lot of ways that it was difficult to sneak anything by her.

The reality was that when I dialed home, my palms had been sweating and I was quite nervous about the whole phone call. The instant I would have told mom I was bringing a guy home with me to visit, and most of all a guy who was a Literary Professor, there would have been fourteen million questions. I knew on my last visit home that Dad and Mom were getting quite peeved at me for not calling home more often, for never being at the dorm if they called there, and to suddenly announce I was visiting with a friend would have made the situation that much worse.

So when Laurie had answered the phone, I was more than happy with the reprieve even if it was temporary.

The “friend” I was bringing home was my boyfriend. His name was Professor Andrew Everett. Andrew was not a professor at the college I attended. He was a professor at a University on the other side of the city. Often though, he would guest lecture as a courtesy to our regular instructor, old Professor Schnapps. Andrew had been his best student in all the years he had been teaching, and since Professor Schnapps had been at the University probably since Edger Alan Poe had penned The Raven, that covered a lot of students. So maybe it was his credentials that impressed me so much, but it could have been that in my eyes, he was as fine a looking as any man I had ever set my eyes on.

Afterwards, some of the best students would be invited to have a tea and luncheon with Andrew and Professor Schnapps.

It was at the very first luncheon that Andrew sought me out and struck up a conversation with me. I felt quite honored that someone in his position would single me out to shoot the literaray bull with. Okay, so he was hitting on me.

To make a long story short, one thing led to another. He asked me out to the opera, asked me out to dinner, invited me over to his house, asked me if he would help him with some paper work, and asked if I would help him prepare his lectures. Of course helping him prepare his lectures was nothing more than getting me to type them up for him but I still felt flattered that he had asked me to do so.

Then one night, he professed his love for me, I professed my love for him, and you really don’t need me to spell it all out for you what happened after that, do you? I didn’t think so. Soon, I was living with him, but would stay at the dorm a couple of nights a week not only for appearances sake, but to keep my room there in case mom and dad should decide to visit as they had several times since I had been in college.

That Sunday morning, after hanging up the phone with Laurie, I turned to face him. It had been extremely difficult for me to get Andrew to agree to visit my family, but I was tired of hiding our relationship, and in fact felt guilty about it. After weeks of coaxing, he finally relented. Looking back now I think he only agreed to go because of my thinly veiled threat not to type any of his “lectures” or help grade his papers for him. That and a lot of moping about did the trick.

“Is the big trip to visit mumsy and poopsy all set,” he said to me.

“Yes, they’ll be expecting us. And Andrew, don’t call my mother and father mumsy and poopsy when we get there.” I thought it was cute the way he said it, as if it had come straight out of a fifty TV series, but I knew mom and dad wouldn’t like it.

“I shall call them by their given names, Dagmar. It should be quite interesting to witness and study the inner workings of the average middle-class family. Have you given any thought about what I told you in regards to just continuing on in college until you receive your PhD?”

“I’m still thinking about it. You’re probably right though, Andrew. I’ll probably just forget the whole teaching deal.” Ever since I was about fifteen years old or so, I had decided I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to teach and work with younger children. Mom said I had a knack for it and had shown it by all the time I had spent with Laurie as she was growing up, Little Frank, and for a short while the twins before I had gone off to college.

“Honestly, Dagmar,” He told me. “You have a lot of potential that will go to waste teaching a horde of first graders how to See Dick run, See Jane sew, See Sally piss her pants and See Spot hump Lassie. You should set your goals and aspirations quite higher than that.”

Andrew was the only person who called me Dagmar these days. Dad had started calling me Dag when I was very young and it just stuck. When I told Andrew he could call me Dag, he had shaken his head vehemently.

“Dag sounds too much like dog. Do you want to be referred to as a canis familiaris all of your life?”

“No, I wouldn’t want that,” I had told him. The thought that people would somehow associate calling me Dag with a common domestic animal had never occurred to me before.

“Are we still going out for dinner?” I asked.

“I’m sorry Dagmar; I thought I had told you. I have to meet with the Dean this afternoon and I’ll be tied up all day. It’s about getting some extra funding from the alumni so it is important. It must have slipped my mind.”

It wasn’t the first time that Andrew had bowed out of a dinner, concert, or movie date at the last minute, but I had resigned myself to the fact that it came with the territory and that being in the position he was, there were great demands and obligations to be fulfilled. I was disappointed but I would get over it. I just wondered how I would occupy myself on a Sunday afternoon, and thought I might take in a movie. Andrew had other ideas.

“And also Dagmar, I have a whole boatload of test papers in the desk that need to be graded. I’m sure you can do a fine job with them. With all I have to do today I just won’t be able to get to them. Would you be a dear and take care of them for me?”

I frowned. My good mood from having temporarily escaped mom and dad’s questions had dissolved as rapidly as an Alka-seltzer tablet. All I could do was sigh.

“Sure Andrew, I’ll take care of it,” I told him.

“That’s my girl,” he said giving me a hug and a kiss. “I knew you would come through for me. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I really have to run now though.” He kissed me again then left.

As I went over to his desk I sat down to begin work. I didn’t start right away, but thought about how great it would be to be called Mrs. Professor Andrew Everett, or Dagmar Everett, PhD., wife of Professor Andrew Everett. Okay, so Andrew had given no hint of marriage yet. But I knew it would only be a matter of time before he did.

~~~3~~~

~~Narration by Laurie~~

Dagmar was right. She had temporarily been left out of the two million questions grilling from mom and dad, and had laid it firmly in my lap. That Sunday evening they returned home. The twins were exhausted and I helped Mom put them to bed. Little Frank wasted no time heading to his room either, although I could hear the video games blasting away on his television. Afterwards, mom collapsed onto the sofa right next to Dad who had already turned on the TV and claimed his spot.

“How was your weekend at home, Laurie,” Mom asked as I took up residency on the sofa next to them. In other words, she was asking if there had been any trouble, and had the two boys left before dark as she had requested. When you’re a teen, you understand what parents are asking although they don’t always come right out and say what’s on their mind. I think they want to show how much they trust you when the truth is that they don’t. They always have that little worry in the back of their mind that you might accidentally burn the house down, or damage one of their art pieces hanging on the wall. In the back of my mind I thought of one Crystal Egg that caused Tom Cruise all sorts of problems in Risky Business and was glad my mother didn’t own one.

“Everything was okay. Sorry about not letting you know about the boys coming over. They left before dark and Gail spent the night. We just watched Sabrina and talked girl talk.”

“Hmmm,” she answered. “I haven’t watched that movie in ages. It’s a very good movie.”

I frowned and shrugged still unable to comprehend the greatness of it. “It was okay I guess. Kurt wants me to go out with him next Saturday to a movie and probably to get something to eat afterwards.”

“Oh?” Dad replied looking up from the TV. “Who is Kurt?”

“He’s on the football team, Dad. He’s a nice guy. I think you’ll like him.”

“He can’t be any worse than that Chuck guy your friend Gail is going with,” Mom chimed in. “From what other parents have told me, he’s kind of obnoxious. Sort of like Eddie Haskell”

“Who’s Eddie Haskell,” I asked.

“Oh, sorry Laurie. Sometimes I forget you don’t watch the old programs the way Dag did. Watch Leave It to Beaver sometime, then you’ll know who Eddie Haskell is.”

“Anyway mom, Kurt is nothing at all like Chuck so you don’t have to worry about that. Oh yeah, and Dag called this morning.”

Dad clicked off the TV. “Dag called?” he asked. “Dag never calls unless she needs more money for school. Is everything okay and how much money does she need?”

I had to laugh. I had always thought Dad’s knack for sarcasm extremely funny. “She doesn’t need any money at the moment. She’s coming home for a visit a week from Friday.”

Mom looked concerned immediately. “A visit? In the middle of the term? Something must be seriously wrong.”

“No mom, she said everything is fine. She’s bringing someone home she wants us to meet. Some guy I guess”

“A friend type of friend or a boyfriend type of friend?” Mom repeated the exact same thing I had said over the phone to Dag, so the best thing for me to do was to repeat Dag’s reply.

“All she said was that he was someone special,” I answered.

“Obviously, he’s someone special!” Dad said.

“You don’t have to be Einstein to know that when Dag comes home in mid term and brings a guy with her that he’s someone special. What else did she say?”

“That they would be here one week from Friday and that’s about it. Dag was in a hurry to get off the phone.”

Mom sighed. “Leave it to Dag! She’s mentioned nothing about a guy in her emails even when she does bother to write at all. She has to have known him for a while. I guess I’ll try writing her to find out more and hope for the best. She’s never there when I call the dorm so that’s a useless gesture. I always thought I understood Dag but since she’s been in college she’s changed so much.”

“Well, I suppose college will do that to you,” Dad replied. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Bettie. Her grades are excellent and in June she’ll be returning home, hitting the pavement looking for a job.”

“I just hope she can find a teaching position here in Devonshire,” Mom replied. “It would be nice to have her around at least some of the time."

Laurie, it’s getting late and you have school tomorrow so you’d better get some rest.” I got up and gave Dad a hug. I knew mom would be headed straight up to Dad’s study to write an email to Dag, so I waited until we were upstairs to tell her goodnight.

When I got to my room, I wasn’t ready to go to sleep so I lounged on the love seat and began flipping through the TV channels. As luck and coincidence would have it, TV Land, a channel I avoided at almost all costs, was showing Leave It to Beaver. The show looked like it was made in the ancient times when TV was first invented. As it turned out, Mom was wrong about Chuck. He was nothing like Eddie Haskell. Chuck was much worse.

~~~4~~~

~~Narration by Laurie~~

In the week leading up to my date with Kurt, we ended up spending some time together at school during lunch. He also stopped by my locker a few times to talk. Gail was very approving of it.

“Geezus Laurie,” she told me. “It’s about time you showed some interest in someone!”

“Don’t get too excited,” I told her. “It’s one date and we’re only talking.”

“That’s more than you’ve done with any guy in almost a year,” she replied. “At least it’s a start.”

“He is a nice guy,” I told her. “A lot nicer than some other guy I know.”

“Will you quit bugging me about Chuck? How would you like it if I began knocking some boyfriend of yours all the time?”

It was one of those rare occasions when Gail actually had a point. “Okay, you’ve made your point,” I told her, and made a mental note to myself to lay off of her about Chuck.

On Saturday evening, I was ready to go an hour before Kurt was due to arrive. Most girls would be nervous as a cat dating a guy for the first time. I can honestly say I was not. To me the whole thing was no different than if Gail and I were going to the mall or to a movie. In my opinion a friend was a friend no matter what gender they were.

Mom of course complimented me on my looks, and dad did also. I knew I looked okay, and thought they overdid it. At any rate, Kurt showed up on time and I invited him in to face the parental inquisition.

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Baker,” he greeted them.

“Hello Kurt,” they replied and Dad got up to shake his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. So you and Laurie are going to a movie. What are you going to see?”

“King Arthur if Laurie agrees.”

“It sounds fine to me,” I told him. I knew absolutely nothing about the film, and every movie dealing with Arthur had its own idea of the story.

I did know that Keira Knightly was in it, and she had been alright in Pirates of the Caribbean when she wasn’t gushing over that Orlando Bloom guy.

“You’re on the football team, aren’t you Kurt?” Mom asked.


“Yes, I’m the third wide receiver on third and long.”

“Are you going to play football in college,” she asked.
Unlike most boys, Kurt didn’t seem at all uncomfortable with the questioning. Maybe he was used to it.

“I don’t think so. I don’t think I can get an athletic scholarship to a good University. I want to study architecture, like my mother.”

“From what I’ve heard, your mother Colleen is a very good architect. I think it’s great that you’re going to follow in her footsteps,” Mom told him. I kind of liked the idea myself of a guy following his mother’s career path instead of his father’s.”

“Well, mom has taken me with her to see some of her stuff, and she’s always showing me floor plans. It’s pretty cool. She designed the new hospital that just opened up.”

“Yes, I know, and it’s a wonderful medical facility. Maybe Laurie will get to practice there someday. Anyway, you two go on and have a good time. Just make sure Laurie’s home by eleven.”

“I’ll be sure to do that, Mr. and Mrs. Baker.”

“Good luck with the architecture stuff and good luck in the football game next week, Kurt,” Dad told him as we headed toward the door.


Mom followed us and I turned to get my parental kiss. No matter how old we became, whether we were visiting or staying, we seldom left without mom’s goodbye.

“He is a nice boy,” she whispered to me. I nodded and we left.


King Arthur was okay, certainly not the greatest movie I had ever seen. The deal with it was that it was supposed to be the “true story” of King Arthur which basically meant that they could tell it anyway they wanted to. The best thing about it was that it didn’t have Guinevere pining over Lancelot for over two hours. Actually Keira Knightly did a good job swinging a sword that weighed about ten lbs more than she did. She was no Xena, but she held her own, enough so that the movie could just as well have been called Queen Guinevere especially since Arthur struck me as being somewhat of a dim bulb throughout.

As we left the theater, Kurt asked me if I wanted to get a bite to eat.

“How about getting a cup of coffee?” I asked him. Dag had never acquired a taste for the stuff, and although mom didn’t like the fact that I began drinking coffee so young, she never really protested.

“Better coffee than liquor,” I had heard Dad tell her. And after that she would just go ahead and pour me a cup in the mornings.

“Hey, yeah, there’s a new coffee house,” Kurt said. “I’ve never been out with someone who liked coffee much except my parents.”

“You can order you something else,” I told him.

“No, no, I like the stuff.”

At the Beanery we talked a bit about what we liked about the movie and didn’t. At one point he joked about Keira Knightly’s swordplay and that she looked ridiculous. I said her sword play was no worse than any of the other actors and at least she wasn’t a half wit like his precious King Arthur.

“Why is it guys make fun of girls when they try to do things that men consider macho? I bet if Keira was a six foot tall muscular bound beauty, with a 38 inch bust you’d have been saying how great she was just because you couldn’t keep your eyes off of her boobs”

He laughed. “You’re probably right. I don’t know why it is. I guess men just feel their territory is being threatened when they see someone they think should be out modeling bathing suits able to do things that they think only a man should be able to do. Look at how much fuss they made when those women golfers played in a men’s tournament. So it isn’t just me.”

I sighed. Sometimes I wondered if I would ever understand why people thought the things they did. I was thinking about Gail’s complaint regarding my posters.

“Do you have any posters hanging up in your bedroom?” I asked him.

“Sure do.”

“What kind of posters?” I asked.

“Well, there’s a picture of me, mom and dad, above my bed,” he said.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Besides family,” I said.

“Right now I have posters of Lord of The Rings, Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, Shaquille O’Neal, Randy Moss, and….a collage of buildings designed by Frank Lloyd Wright that my mother gave me. His portrait is in the collage also.”

“Frank Lloyd Wright! I am impressed. You’re really serious about this architect stuff aren’t you? The rest of your posters are about what I would expect though.”

“Ever since my mom bought me my first sets of Lego’s and Lincoln logs, I’ve always had this thing about building stuff. Who do you have in your room?”

I told him by quickly rattling off the names of the posters Gail had been so quick to
disparage.

“Madame Curie’s a good fit,” he said. “It’s certainly one you won’t see in a lot of girl’s rooms. I didn’t think you would have the Williams Sisters or Mia Hamm up there either. I’ve never seen you go out for sports.”

“Well, I’m not very athletic, but I do like to watch women sports. I don’t think women athletes get a fair shake sometimes. They work at it just as hard as you guys do, and I think they deserve more recognition than they get.”


“You have some very strong opinions about things, don’t you Laurie?”

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing?” I asked.

“No, not at all. I think it’s great. I hate girls who agree with me all the time. No Orlando Bloom hanging in your bedroom, or Justin Timberlake?” he asked.

Now he sounded like Gail. I couldn’t help but frown. “And your point is?” I asked.

I guess Kurt saw the look on my face. “Nothing, nothing at all,” he said. “I just thought most girls would have something along those lines.”

“I see no point in putting a poster up of some actor or singer on my wall that I care absolutely nothing about, just so I can go around saying how hot he is when I really couldn’t care less.”

“I see your point,” he said. “Are you sure you’re a high school girl? You seem as if you should already be in college, and I mean that as the highest compliment.”

“If it’s a compliment then thanks,” I told him. “They did try to have me skip a couple of grades when I was younger but mom and dad said no dice. They thought it would be too much pressure on me. I’m glad they said no. It’s hard enough being a high school teen and getting along in high school. I can’t imagine what it would be like going to college and being two or three years younger than anybody else although many have managed to do it.”


I looked at my watch. It was already ten thirty and the walk home would take twenty minutes. “I think we better go if I’m going to make it home on time.” I started to go to the counter to pay for the coffee.

“What are you doing?” Kurt asked.

“You paid for the movie and the popcorn; I’m going to pay for this. It’s only fair. I’m not into this guy paying all the time stuff, especially when I get an allowance that I can never find worthwhile ways to spend. And if you object, pout, or get mad, then it’ll be a long walk home.”

Kurt laughed. “I won’t be mad and I won’t object. Just take some of your allowance you have trouble spending and leave a good tip. I wouldn’t want you leaving a bad impression on our first visit here. We may come back sometime and I don’t want to have a reputation as a cheapskate!”

I had to admit that Kurt could make me smile, whereas most boys I had been out with were dull and dreary.

On the walk home, he took my hand. I figured I’d been a big enough pain in his butt that I wouldn’t object. I didn’t know if he expected a good night kiss or not. Most boys expected at least that much these days even on the first date. There were some, probably like Chuck, that expected much more than that. Usually I somehow had always managed to wiggle out of it. It was not a prospect I looked forward to. The thought made me nervous and I could feel my palms beginning to perspire. I would be seventeen in a month, and I had never been kissed, at least not on the lips. A year earlier I had gone out with Phil Malone, and he had tried to kiss me. Just as he was about ready to make contact, I had turned my head and the kiss had landed on the cheek. He didn’t ask me out again which was okay by me because the date hadn’t been that great anyway. By the time we reached the house, I had made up my mind that if Kurt were to kiss me, it was high time I let somebody do it.

It wasn’t long before we stood at the front door of the house.

“Do you want to come in for a few minutes?” I asked.

“I’d better not. I have to be home myself by 11:30 or my parents will have the police out scouring the city for me. I really had a good time with you tonight, Laurie. Thanks for going out with me.”

It was the first time a guy had ever thanked me for a date. “I had a good time myself. Thanks for asking me, and thanks for the movie.”

“Thanks for the coffee, and for tipping the waitress,” he chuckled. “Would you like to go out again next week? I can’t go Friday night, I have an away game. But how about Saturday?”

I was about to agree to go when I remembered Dag would be home visiting. “I can’t go next week. My sister is bringing some guy home from college for us to meet. Maybe you can come over after school one day this week and we’ll go for a swim or something.”

“Yeah, that would be cool. We could study together or something too. Well…….” There was a long pause, and Kurt began shuffling his feet slightly. Yes, he was going to give me a good night kiss. I looked up at him and as he took my hands I closed my eyes. And in that brief second I panicked.

“What if he tries to slip his tongue in?” I thought. I quickly clenched my teeth together, but I shouldn’t have worried. His lips made a landing on mine, and then departed them in less than a second. And that was it. No fireworks, no earthquake, no toes curling up, and no hearts floating in the air. It was just about what I expected, but I still felt a bit let down. Couldn’t life be like the movies just once?

“Goodnight Laurie,” he said heading down the sidewalk. “See you in school on Monday.”

I entered the house and Mom and Dad were sitting in their Pajamas on the couch pretending to watch television as they waited up for me.

“How was your date, dear?” Mom asked. “How was the movie?”

“The date was okay. The movie was fine. I had a good time”

“Well, I kind of liked the kid,” Dad said. “Better than that Malone fellow you went out with.”

“Yeah, dad. He’s nicer than Phil was. I’m kind of tired though so I think I’ll go on up to bed.” I walked over and kissed them both on the cheek.


I quickly changed into my pajamas, then took the contacts that had once again began irritating my eyes out. I stood in front of the mirror for a few minutes, wandering if I was really what boys would consider pretty. I posed to the left and then to the right but in the end I shrugged my shoulders and decided I didn't care and it didn’t matter. You didn't have to be beautiful to saw open someone's skull anyway.

“Maybe Gail and Kurt are right. Maybe I am kind of an oddball.” I thought to myself.

And if you wanted any more evidence of my oddness, I went into the bedroom, and had one of my nightly talks with the poster of Xena hanging on the wall.

“Well Xena, what’s your opinion on the matter?” I asked her.

“Hmmmm, you don’t have an answer for me tonight, Xena? Keep it up and I’ll replace you with Keira Knightly. At least she didn’t get her head cut off.”

When I went to sleep that night, I dreamed I was involved in my own swordplay, this time with both Xena and Guinevere in the shape of Keira at my side. King Arthur was no where to be found, nor were any of the Knights of the Round Table around to make a nuisance of themselves. Kurt never made an appearance in my dream either.

~~5~~

~~Narration by Bettie~~

I was surprised when Laurie had told me about Dag’s impending visit. Yet, nothing Dag did these days came as a total shock. I would send her email, and sometimes it would be three or four days before I would see a reply. If I called the dorm, she was seldom there. If I called her cell phone, it was turned off. I realized she had to be very busy, but there never seemed to be any effort on her part to return the phone calls. During Dag’s first two years of college, Joe and I would try to take a trip up to see her at least once during the year. We thought she enjoyed the visits, but in the months preceding her visit, she seemed to have become even more distant.

What made the whole business more painful is that from the very first day Joe had called me in a panic to come over and help him with the orphaned girl unexpectedly left in his care, Dag and I had been as close as any two people could be. I didn’t expect it to be that way forever as all kids grow older and drift away some what, but I didn’t expect her to totally disregard our relationship as mother and daughter.

I was happy however to see that Laurie had begun dating, and dating a nice kid to boot. I was proud of her for the amount of time she spent studying, and for her desire to succeed academically. For the future career she had chosen, she certainly would have to study long and hard, but to completely have no social life except for those days when she would hang out with Gail, was not entirely healthy.


Before Dag and her friend were to arrive, the kids, Joe, and I had spent several days shining up the house. Most of the time I would do most of the work, but being in the early stages of pregnancy and although I wasn’t even showing yet, I tired easily. Then there was my knee, which would take spells where for no reason at all it would suddenly ache with pain. The doctors had told me that it was a souvenir left over from when a car driven by some idiot on his cell phone had decided that I should be summarily removed not only from the crosswalk, but from the entire planet as well. There was nothing much to be done but have it drained occasionally. It was beginning to feel as if it would be time to do so once again.


On the Friday that Dag was bringing her “friend” to the house, I had invited Arcadia to join us. My father, Frank, who was married to Arcadia, was away on another business conference so he was going to have to miss Dag’s visit. She had arrived early to help prepare dinner, while I made sure the twins and Little Frank were bathed and dressed. Of course, Frank could bathe himself, but sometimes getting him to get in there was a monumental undertaking. Joe, for his part, had been out mowing the lawn and trimming the hedges for most of the day. Finally, Arcadia and I were able to stop for a rest.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into my granddaughter,” Arcadia told me. “She hasn’t so much as written Frank and I one word in over a month. That’s bad enough, but I don’t like the way she’s doing you and Joe either. Now all of a sudden, she’s bringing a boy home for us to meet and someone none of us have heard one word about.” Arcadia had been ranting the whole afternoon, and she wasn’t about to stop now. Arcadia was not one to mince words when she was upset.

“Well, she’s an adult now and has her own life to lead,” I said. “We couldn’t and shouldn’t expect her to call everyday, or write. I’m sure she’s been very busy.” I knew I was trying to cover for Dag the best that I could, but it didn’t go very far with Arcadia.

“Now just a minute, Bettie, I didn’t say one word about Dag having to call everyday, or write everyday. But you’re lucky if she calls once a month. And now bringing a boyfriend home all of a sudden! Dag was never one to keep anything from you, Bettie. I guess I’m just getting too old to understand today’s kids.”

There wasn’t time for the conversation to continue. We heard a vehicle pull up and Joe yelling from the living room, “They’re here!”

Arcadia and I looked at each other as if to say, “Well, it’s zero hour.” We walked to the front of the house, where Joe had already opened the door.

We heard Laurie running down the stairs and the twins stood nearby. Little Frank as usual was bringing up the rear. Dag hugged Joe, then ran to hug me.

“It’s great having you home, hon,” I told her. By the time she had finished going down the line with her hugs, she was finally ready to introduce us to the mystery man.

“Bettie, Joseph, Arcadia, this is Andrew. Andrew Everett. He’s a professor at Jefferson University.” I don’t know which of the three of us were more stunned. From the day Joe and I had become engaged, Dag had only addressed us one other time as anything other than Mom, or Dad, or Arcadia as her grandma.

When she was in grade school, one of the kids had told her that she shouldn’t be allowed to call us mom and dad. Dag had come home crying, and after a little hell raising with the kid’s parents, the matter was quickly settled. Laurie’s mouth propped open like a codfish. She couldn't believe what she had heard either.

As for Professor Andrew Everett, he was a tall dark haired fellow with long straight hair that hung almost to his shoulders, with a beard and mustache neatly trimmed. He wore glasses, but still looked too young to be a Professor by my way of thinking.

“I’m very pleased to meet you, Andy,” Joe said holding out his hand. Andrew took his hand and shook it, but only briefly.

“Joseph, its Andrew, not Andy.” Dagmar said.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Joe told him. “Naturally I thought….” Andrew didn’t let him finish.

“That’s okay Joseph; lots of people make that mistake. I believe that we should address each other by our full given name. It is the name we were given at birth and it is part of our heritage. Shortening our names and using nicknames, somehow cheapens who we are.”

Have you ever worried about some event that was going to take place in your life, such as a party or a job interview and you were absolutely positive that it wasn’t going to go well? Usually, all your worries turn out to be for naught and everything turns out okay in the end. All day long I had this feeling of impending doom, but in this case my worse fears were not only being realized they were about to be surpassed.

“Well, Andrew, I prefer that people call me Joe. I haven’t been called Joseph by anyone but my father. But if you think it’s important to you, Joseph is okay.” I wanted to hug Joe right then and there. I knew he had to be bristling, but he was going to do his best to give Professor Andy the benefit of the doubt.

“Thank you Joseph. I don’t mean any disrespect but it is something I feel strongly about.”

“I know the two of you must be tired, so why don’t we go into the living room?” I offered.

“Splendid idea, Bettie,” Andy said, “We can retire to the living room. I’m very interested in Dagmar’s family life, and I have a thousand questions, as I’m sure you do also.”


Andy, Dag, and Joe headed into the living room. Arcadia grabbed me by the arm and whispered in my ear. “Let’s retire to the living room,” she whispered in a mocking tone, “I’d like to do some retiring all right, I’d like to retire him!”

“Let’s give him a chance,” I told her. And I meant it. First impressions were important but they didn’t always tell the whole story. But as events unfolded, things didn’t get any better. If they had, would I be referring to him as Andy even now? I’d like to call him something else but decorum prevents that. Well, no it doesn't. Andy was nothing more than a pompous ass.

“How are your classes going, Dag?” Joe asked after we sat for several minutes basically staring at each other in silence.

“Just great, Joseph. And Joseph, really, do you still have to call me Dag. I’m not a child anymore. Dag sounds like a boy’s name.”

“Quite right,” Andy interjected. “Dagmar is a girl’s name of Scandinavian Origin. It means joyous day of the Danes. I think it is quite appropriate, don’t you?”

“Well, maybe I should just call you joyous day of the Danes, Dagmar,” Joseph said. Arcadia, Laurie and I chuckled. Dag and Andy did not. So Joe hurriedly spoke again. “If you don’t want me to call you Dag, then I won’t.”

“Thanks Joseph.” Dag said.


My stomach was starting to sour. I knew I wouldn’t be eating much dinner. I felt as if the girl sitting in the living room was a complete stranger. I knew that as people got older, they matured and changed. Dag had always been a little flighty in her teen years, but she hadn’t just changed, she had been replaced by some clone that looked like her. Arcadia had already seen enough. She literally jumped out of her seat and headed towards the kitchen.

“I have to check on dinner,” she said.


“Would you like to play a video game with me,….uh…,” little Frank who had been sitting patiently on the floor listening to the conversation looked at me as if he wasn’t sure how to address Professor Andy. I nodded at him, and he finished his sentence by calling him Andrew.

“I abhor the day that video games and computer games were invented. I’ve managed to avoid playing them my entire life. Children now seem enamored of involving themselves in a make believe world of computer generated special effects. This fantasy world has no more bases in reality than Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or Captain Kangaroo for that matter. I think there are other much more fruitful ways to involve children such as reading the great works of Shakespeare. Not only that, but video games keep children from functioning properly in their school life”

“Huh?” Little Frank said. “Is that a yes or a no?” I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

“I think that’s a no, Frank, but you can go upstairs to your room and play,” Joe told him. “And you girls can go play until dinner’s ready,” he said motioning to the twins and they wasted no time scurrying up the stairs behind Frank.

“I don’t think a little fantasy in one’s life ever hurt anybody,” I told Andy. “Certainly Dagmar survived playing video games and still managed an A average. The kids are limited to how much we allow them to play. And they never are allowed to play until after their homework is finished,” I replied to him.

Dag immediately came to Andy’s defense. “Yes Bettie, but I think of all the hours I spent playing those games and I know how much better that time could have been spent on other more thoughtful pursuits. Perhaps you should have been a little more forceful and firmer with me.” I was at the end of my rope. Before the night was finished, I was going to find a way to get Dag alone, and tell her exactly what I thought.

“I have to go help, Arcadia,” I said, biting my tongue again.

“What are we having for dinner,” Dag asked.

“Roasted chicken,” I answered.

“Bettie, didn’t you get my email I sent you?” Dag said. “Andrew has always been a vegetarian and I am also.”

“No, Dag, I didn’t get your email.” I had purposely shortened her name again because I really didn’t care to appease her anymore. “How can I get your email when you don’t seem to have the time to write?”

“I told you Bettie, I’m very busy at school and sometimes I don’t have time to call or write. I wrote you an email this morning before we left because I realized I had forgotten to tell Laurie on the phone any my cell phone had gone dead.”

“Well, Dag, since you were coming this morning, and since I seldom have email from you, I didn’t think you would be writing me on the day you decide to pay us a visit. We do have tossed salad and whole wheat bread. I’ll have to see what else is in there.” I hurried into the kitchen, and at the same time Laurie got up to join me. Poor Joe must have felt like a Christian being left alone in the lion’s den.

“How’s it going,” Arcadia asked me.

“Don’t ask!” I told her yanking a huge salad bowl out of the cabinet to begin making
a salad.

“That good?” she said sarcastically.

“What a jerk!” Laurie said as she grabbed the tomatoes and began slicing them for me. “And Dagmar is just as bad. What is wrong with her?”

The throbbing that had been in my knee earlier was now pulsating with full force. “I think Dagmar would tell you she’s in love.” I said to Laurie.

"Love my foot!” Arcadia said. “She’s not in love with that man! She can’t be in love with him! She’s star struck because he’s this great Literary Professor! I’d like to star struck her, I’d like to bend her over my knee and star struck her ass.”

“All we can do is make the best of a bad situation,” I told them. “I’ll try and talk to her as soon as I can get her alone.”

We could hear Andrew in the living room, giving another monologue. Once I peeked around the corner to see Joe’s eyes looking glazed over, and Dag staring at Andy as if he was a movie star. I was sorry for Joe, but was grateful for how he was handling things.

It wasn’t long though before we had to call them into dinner. Little Frank and the twins had their dinner in the kitchen while the rest of us gathered in the dining room.

“They’re building a lot of new schools around town, Dagmar,” Arcadia said.
“Devonshire is changing so quickly. You should have no trouble getting a teaching job when you graduate.”

“I’ve changed my mind about teaching,” Dag told her. “Andrew thinks I should work toward my Master’s degree, and I’ve decided to do that.” To say I was ready to fall out of my chair was an understatement. All Dag had talked about for the past several years is how she wanted to teach young kids and that she couldn’t wait to get her bachelors degree and teaching certificate so that she could do so. Joe and Arcadia looked at me as if they weren’t sure what to expect next.



“How’s your school work going, Laurie,” Dag asked, as if she was in a hurry to change the subject.

“Fine, Dag! Straight A’s as usual.” Laurie rarely bragged about her grades, and although Dag had an A average in high school, she had a few A minuses, and a couple of B+ over the years. But I knew why she had brought it up now. Laurie was not happy at all with her sister and wanted to cut her down to size a bit.


“Laurie has a new boyfriend,” I said trying to get the subject away from academics.

“Ahh! A high school romance! Puppy Love! How very quaint,” Andrew said.

“Who is it Laurie, anybody I know?” Dag asked.

“He’s not my boyfriend. We’ve only been out one time. We’re just friends. His name is Kurt Miller.”

“Well, Laurie, let’s hope your young romance doesn’t turn tragic as it did for Romeo and Juliet” Andrew said.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that Professor,” Laurie replied. “I don’t think there’s any man on this planet worth killing yourself over.”

“I saw the movie version once, with Olivia Hussey as Juliet,” Joe interjected. “I
have to say, that I thought it was all a lot of silly business with some girl pretending to be dead, then her boyfriend going nutso and killing himself when he thinks she’s dead, and then the girl waking up and killing herself for real. It’s a good thing Shakespeare wrote it so many years ago because I think if you took a script like that into some producer written by John Nobody, he’d be laughed out of Hollywood. Not enough special effects.”

“The tragedy Joseph, is that Hollywood puts the works of Shakespeare on film at all. He has to be rolling over in his grave. The works of Shakespeare are meant to be held in your hand and read, each phrase should be studied and examined for it’s sheer perfection,” Once again Joe had been trying to lighten the mood, and once again Andy had taken the opportunity to shoot him down.

Joe gave it his best shot to contradict Andy, but I knew it would be of no use before he even spoke. “Andrew, they are plays are they not? Are they not meant to be performed before an audience? If Billy boy had meant for us to read his plays, he should have written them as a book.” As soon as I heard Joe say Billy Boy I knew his patience was wearing thin.

“Yes, Joseph. They are plays. There is a world of difference between performing a live play, and having two dimensional images projected at you from celluloid, or jammed into your TV set as if they were being performed by dwarfs. It is an artificial medium, much in the same way that Franklin’s video games are artificial. There is no real difference.” The great professor took another bite of his salad.

And Dag threw her two cents in. “The Elizabethan theater was an aural rather than visual experience, Joseph. On stage, the characters described the setting in their speeches. The actor’s words had to convey all necessary information about plot, characters, and setting because the action took place on a bare, open-air stage. It’s never too late in life to educate yourself about these things Joseph”

And when she said the last sentence, I saw Joe slump down in his chair, defeated and hurt, but not angry. I had enough anger for the two of us.

Arcadia slammed her fork down onto her plate and stood up. She was about to say something when I motioned to her. She began clearing the table instead. Laurie was literally glaring at her sister. I had had it.

“Dag, why don’t you let Joe keep Andrew company? I want your opinion about a painting I might buy. I have the information upstairs in your dad’s study. Then maybe I can get Andrew’s opinion about it also.”



“Sure Bettie,” she said standing up. It was obvious she had no clue as to my anger. I was doing my best to control it.

As soon as we were in the study, I slammed the door behind us so hard the walls vibrated. Dag nearly jumped out of her skin. She knew something was wrong.

“What’s wrong, Bettie?” she asked in almost an innocent childlike voice which infuriated me even more.

I wasted no time tearing into her. “First off Dag Baker, as long as you are home you will not call me Bettie. I am your mother, not your buddy, not your school mate. And that man downstairs is your father, not Joe and certainly not Joseph. You will refer to him as dad and you will respect him in the way that he is entitled to! He deserves better than that from you!”

“Okay mom!” Dag literally spat the word mom. “Is that all?”

“I’ve only just begun, young lady. How long have you been living with this man?” I wasn’t sure if it was surprise or shock that came over her face.

“We’ve lived together for about a month. We started seeing each other a couple of months ago. How did you know?”

“Do you think because I didn’t go to college that I’m stupid too, Dag? That you could play me for a fool? Why lie? Why all the secrecy?”

“I didn’t think you’d approve.”

“You’re god damn right Dag, I don’t approve. But it’s not because you decided to live with someone. I’m not so backwards that I didn’t think there wasn’t a possibility of that happening some day. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions about your sex life but right now you’re acting like some lovesick adolescent! What I don’t approve of is him.”

“What’s wrong with Andrew?”

“Do you want a list? From the time you two came through that door he’s been acting as if this whole family is a group of Neanderthals put here for his amusement. And you should see yourself with him. You cater to him as if he was that Teddy Bear you used to carry around with you.”

“He helps me. He’s taught me that I can do more than I thought I ever could. He can’t help it if he’s intelligent, mother.”

“Is that why you decided not to teach? So you can become more intelligent? Is not becoming a teacher your idea or is it his? Do you think a degree is the only thing you can judge a person’s worth by, Dag? Is that what you think of me and your father? That we somehow don’t measure up to high enough standards to be your parents? You act as if you’re ashamed of us! Well I won’t have you or him in this house disrespecting us. I don’t care how much you think you love him or how damn smart you think you are. When you told your father it was never too late to educate himself, you hurt him more than I ever thought you could Dag!”

I was yelling, but I didn’t care anymore. “After everything he’s done for you and you treat your father as if he was a piece of gum to be scraped off your shoe! I won’t have it, Dag. Not in this house and certainly not from you or that snot-nosed little shit.”

“You can’t be serious, mom!” she said. Dag looked as if she was about to cry. I didn’t care. I was doing everything I could to hold back my own tears.

“I’m very serious. I don’t want him here, and frankly right now I don’t want you here either. I love you Dag, but I will not let any member of this family be made to feel like dirt! Not by you, not by Andy, not by anyone. Now please get your boyfriend and get the hell out of here!”

“What do I tell him?” she said.

“I don’t care what you tell him. Lie to him if you want to. Obviously lying is something you’ve been practicing lately so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

She opened the door and walked out, and as she did Arcadia entered the room. It had been over fifteen years since I had been that angry and I had sworn to myself I would never get that angry again. But I had, and worse yet the fact that I was so angry at my daughter made it hurt even more. The tears began flowing down my swoolen and red flushed cheeks. Arcadia quickly closed the door, and pulled me to her, comforting me.

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