Laurie & Dag: Part II

(Author's Notes: Welcome to the second installment of Laurie & Dag, the sequel to The Kid & Me. If you are new here and have just landed on this page, you can use the links in the right hand column of the page to navigate back to Chapter One if you so desire. Also, if you've never read The Kid & Me, while it is not absolutely necessary to go back and read it, I honestly believe that it will help you to understand many things that happen in Laurie and Dag as we begin to tie up a few loose ends in this chapter. You can also navigate to The Kid & Me using the links in the right hand column. Whatever you choose to do, you are always welcome to read this saga any way which you prefer to. Please note that you can click on any of the pictures at any time to get an enlargement. Also, although this story did run on The Sims 2 web site and was hidden after being on that site for over a year, I have taken this opportunity to do some rewriting to enhance the story and give it even more of an edge that I think it needed. It is not recommended for anyone under the age of 13. Thanks again for stopping by.)

~~~6~~~

~~~Narration by Dag~~~

As I walked slowly down the stairs I worked hard to fight back the tears that were filling my eyes. I managed to brush one away, watching it drop and splatter onto the step in front of me before managing to gain my composure. I didn’t want Andrew to know what had happened as that would undoubtedly only cause more trouble and heartaches. More importantly than that was the fact that I didn’t want Dad to know. I could only remember one time that mom had yelled at anybody as she had just done and that was when I was very young when her and Dad had gotten into a terrible argument. And I only found out about that particular fight after the fact when mom had run off with tears running down her cheek. I guess it was fitting that right now running was exactly what I wanted to do if I could. I was hurt and embarrassed, not just because of Mom’s harsh words, but although I would never had admitted it at the time, I knew that deep down inside of me she had been right, and I never thought a day would come that I would hear mom call anybody a snot-nosed little anything, let alone the word she had used to describe Andy.

Figuring out what to tell Andrew would not be a problem. When we had made the plans to visit, he had wanted to stay at a motel all along. It had been I who had insisted that we stay at the house with my family. When I told him to call a taxi to take us to a motel, Andrew seemed almost filled with glee over the prospect.

As for Dad, he almost seemed relieved and I suspected that he knew Mom had said a few things to me.

“You’re not staying here tonight?” he asked solemnly. Just the way he asked told me that Dad was not surprised we were leaving.

“No, I think we’ll go to a Motel so we can get headed back early tomorrow. Andrew has some important meetings on Sunday, and I have some exams coming up.”

He did not question me any further. I went over to him and gave him a hug. “I love you, dad.” I told him.

“I know, Dag,” he said hugging me tighter. “It’s okay, if you need anything you be sure to give us a call.”

“I will, Dad. I know it’s hard to understand Andrew, but he doesn’t mean anything by it. Really he doesn’t.”

“As long as you’re happy, Dag, that’s all I care about. Just be careful, okay….and…Dag,…if you need anything, anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”

“I will Dad, I promise.”

Mom did not come down the stairs to see us off, nor did Arcadia. I hadn’t expected them to. Andrew, for his part, seemed to have no clue as to what had taken place.

Either that or he didn’t care one way or another. As we stood outside waiting on the taxi, Laurie came outside.

“Hey Sis,” I told her glumly. “Sorry we can’t stay longer.”

“Well, it’s probably for the best,” she replied, almost in a whisper. “I heard mom yelling at you.” Andrew’s ears shot up when he heard that.

“Bettie was scolding you?” he said. “Why, because she doesn’t understand that children grow up and want to better themselves beyond being some kind of walking talking subservient baby factory for their husband?”

“Andrew!” I said. “Not now!” but it was too late. Laurie would not take what he had just said in stride.

“Listen, Mr. High and Mighty Professor, my mother has never been subservient to anyone,” she yelled jabbing her finger pointedly into his chest. “Our mother raised both Dag and I when neither one of us had a mother. She didn’t have to do it but she did it because she loved us and cared about us, not because of any subservient need to be with my father. And my father has never treated any of us including our mother as subservient. She has been every bit his equal. As for being a baby factory, she wanted to have kids because she loves taking care of them, raising them and watching them grow up. Just because your mother obviously threw you out with the trash gives you no damn right to come here and act like you’re God’s gift to everyone including yourself. And as for anybody being subservient, Dag, I suggest that when you get to your motel room, and if you can tear yourself away from Mr. Professor Penis Brains long enough, you had better take a long, long look in the mirror.”

Laurie didn’t wait for a reply but quickly turned to go back into the house, slamming the door behind her and vibrating the windows as she did.


“You’re family is very hostile, Dagmar,” Andrew said.

“Andrew,” I said looking at him. “For once will you please just shut the hell up?” His mouth must have opened ten feet but he didn’t say anything more and I was certainly glad of that.

At the motel, I went into the bathroom to quickly change into my pajamas, the flannel ones which were always my signal to Andy to keep his hands off for the night. And she was right, I wasn't absolutely sure I liked what I saw. Doing things at home to please Andy was one thing, but that was no reason to have treated Dad the way that I had.



When I came out Andy was none too pleased. I started to walk out, but then quickly turned to look in the mirror, just as Laurie had suggested. “What are you wearing those for instead of your sexy negligee?” he asked. “I thought you wanted to come here so that we could fool around and have some fun.”

“For Pete’s sake Andrew, don’t be so dense,” I told him. “You have to know that the reason we came here is because of the disagreement I had with mom. And now because of that I’ve got one helluva headache and having sex is the last thing I feel like doing.”

“What do you mean a headache? Really Dagmar, you shouldn’t get a man’s hopes up about things like this and then just come up with some silly business about a headache and you shouldn’t let the attitude of your family dictate our sex life. I don’t think it’s fair.”

“You’re right, Andrew. Life’s unfair,” I replied. For the first time I was totally losing my patience with him. “So have your students write an essay on the subject next week if it is such a big deal. Now get into bed and go to sleep.” Andy climbed into bed almost sheepishly.

I lay down on the bed and turned my back to him to signal the conversation was over, but I knew it would be a while before I would sleep.”

When he laid down in the bed, Andrew yanked the covers over himself then turned his own back to me. I thought about what had happened, about what my mother and Laurie had said. I had to admit, I may have carried things a bit overboard, and I was still smarting from the way mom had yelled at me.

As soon as I knew for sure that Andrew was asleep by the sound of his light snoring, I finally buried my face in a pillow and let the tears I had fought back on the stairwell flow freely.

~~~7~~~

~~~Narration by Bettie~~~

After Dag had left the room, it took a while for Arcadia to calm me down. I one point I was sobbing so hard that I became physically ill and ran into the bathroom to vomit.


“Now Bettie,” Arcadia spoke to me softly, “You’re going to have to calm down. It’s not good for you and certainly can’t be good for the baby.”

“I don’t know,” I told her. “I should have just kept my mouth shut. I don’t think Dag will be speaking to me for a long time let alone forgive me”

“Nonsense, Bettie! Dag is the one who needs to be asking for forgiveness. But Dag loves you, she loves you very much. She’ll come around eventually. You only said what needed to be said and maybe it will be the push she needs to wake up and smell the coffee.”

Arcadia turned me towards the door. Now go clean yourself up. You don’t want Joe to know you’ve been crying.”

As I left the study Laurie had just come up the stairs.

“Are you okay, mom?” She asked.

“I’ll be okay, Laurie. I didn’t want you to hear any of that. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, mom. She had it coming. They left by the way. You can use my bathroom if you want to straighten up.”

“I look that bad, huh?” I asked her.

“Well, I’ve seen you look better. I’ll go down and keep Dad occupied for a while so take your time.” I gave her a hug then went into the bathroom, and quickly began fixing my smudged make up and did my best to clear my swollen eyes.

Later that evening, Joe and I lay in the bed. He was reading or pretending to read and I was lost in my thoughts. When I had finally come downstairs he had hugged me and asked if I were okay and that was it. Joe and I had developed this sixth sense between us over the years. He instinctly knew when I didn’t really want to talk about something, and to wait until I was ready to broach the subject. Likewise, I knew now that he was troubled, and although he was silent I was sure what he really wanted to do was to talk. Of course the book he held in his hand was a dead giveaway.

“What are you reading?” I asked.

“Well, I don’t think our boy Andrew would approve of it. I’m reading Bag of Bones by Stephen King.”

“Nope, I don’t think Andy would approve at all. But you’re not really reading are you?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, I know you can do a lot of things, but reading a book upside down is not one of them.” I said.

Joe laughed and closed the book. “I’ve never been able to fool you in all the years we’ve been together, have I?”

“Nope, and you never will. So, do you want to talk about what’s troubling you? Is it Andy and Dag?”

“Partly,” he told me. “I’ve been thinking that I never thought I would see the day that Dag would be ashamed of me.”

“She’s not ashamed of you, Joe,” I said vehemently. “She was just trying to show off for Professor Nit wit by being Queen Smarty Pants.”

“Still,” he said resolutely, “I suddenly realized that I wish I had done something, anything to leave my mark in the world.”

“You’ve done a lot to leave your mark, Joe. You’re more than generous to a fault. You’ve given loads of money to charities. I know you always do it anonymously but, does it really matter if you don’t have some plaque hanging on the wall extolling your service to the community. You practically had that little league field built yourself. I wish you wouldn’t always want to be anonymous. I think people should know about the things you’ve done.

“If they knew who it was giving the money, every charity would be on our doorstep, and even you and I can only afford so much.” Joe grew silent again. “Besides I had an ulterior motive to help with the ball field. Little Frank was playing little league wasn’t he?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Don’t try that on me,” I told him. “You would have built it anyway. Dag was in the school play but you didn’t help build an auditorium. So what is really bothering you?”

“It’s about Laurie.”

I was a bit taken aback. It was not the answer I had been expecting.

“What about Laurie?” I asked hesitantly.

“She’s been asking a lot more questions about her mother, about what happened to Susan, about our relationship. I don’t think I can keep the truth from her any longer.”

Suddenly I was worried also. Laurie was probably the most levelheaded person in the house, but even I wasn’t sure if she was prepared to handle what had happened almost eighteen years ago. One of Joe’s last promises to Susan was that he would keep many details of what had happened until Laurie was at least eighteen. I may not have agreed with her decision, but I had to respect her last request.

“I don’t know, Joe. Maybe she shouldn’t know. Maybe it would be better if Laurie never knew. It’s only going to hurt her.”

“She’ll be eighteen next year Bettie. If I know Laurie the way I think I do, even if I don’t tell her what happened, she’ll start looking for the answers herself. I would rather that she hear about it from me. I knew in the back of my mind this day would come eventually, and now that it’s here I don’t think I can put it off any longer.”

I sighed. I knew it was painful for him. Deep down inside, I knew he had never entirely forgiven himself over Susan’s death. He had learned to deal with it, and to live with what had happened, but that was it. And now there, was the distinct possibility that upon hearing the details, Laurie would blame him also. But Joe was right. We couldn’t keep the past hidden forever. “When do you plan on talking to her?”

I asked him hoping it would be later than sooner.

“Soon, very soon,” he said. Joe reached over, gave me a hug and a kiss and then he was quickly asleep.

I lay there for a long while, mulling things over. Between Laurie and Dag it seemed as if our lives were reaching another crossroads. Our anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to plan something very special for Joe, perhaps to help lift his spirits. I was about to reach over and turn off the light when the book case caught my eye. And just like that an idea came to me. What I had in mind was certainly a long shot, at best, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. I smiled to myself, turned out the light, and was soon asleep.

“Not leave your mark, Joe Baker,” I chuckled silently to myself. “Well we’ll just see about that.”

The next morning, I waited until Joe and the kids were going for a swim as they often did on Saturday mornings. Usually, I would join them but I had more important things on my mind when I went back to the pool area.

“I’m going out for a while, I thought I would walk over and see Erika,” I told him. “I won’t be very long.”

“Just be careful,” he said giving me a kiss. Since my accident years ago, he would always worry whenever I went out. “I thought I might take the kids to a movie later.”

“That would be great,” I said hurrying away.

My first stop was the bookshelf in our bedroom. The book I was looking for was where it always was and I quickly grabbed it. It was a one of a kind book, one that Joe had written for me personally, then had it bound as an anniversary present. I hurried out of the house and down the street.

Jay Daggett was our family lawyer, and before that he had been Susan’s friend and lawyer also which is how Joe had become acquainted with him. He had also married our former gardener, Erika Jayapalan, after meeting her at our wedding. I had called earlier to make sure they would be home.

“Where’s Jonna?” I asked. Jonna, their daughter, would usually come up and give me a hug when ever I arrived. Joe and I were her godparents.

“She’s visiting with my parents this weekend,” Erika told me. “She’ll be sorry she missed you.”

“Are you here for just a visit or is there something wrong,” Jay asked me. “When you called this morning, I kind of had the feeling something was on your mind.”

“It’s kind of business,” I told him. I handed him the book and he read the cover.

“The Kid & Me,” he said reading it and raising an eyebrow.

“It’s something Joe wrote for me. He had it printed up and bound like it was a regular book.”

“I didn’t know Joe had writing aspirations,” Erika told me.

“He doesn’t,” I answered quickly. “It was a personal thing.”

“What do you want me to do with this, Bettie?” Jay asked.

“Jay, I know this is a long shot, but do you know anybody in the publishing business?”

“I have a few clients involved in it in different ways.”


I held my breath. “I want you to submit Joe’s book for publication. I know this is a lot to ask but it would mean a lot to me.”

“I don’t know, Bettie. There are thousands upon thousands of manuscripts submitted every year by unknown writers. Only a very minuscule amount of those ever find their way into print and then most of them end up as dust collectors.”

“I know, and really, I’m prepared for it to be turned down. But can you at least read it? If you read it and you don’t think it has a chance, and then I’ll understand. I just thought I would give it a try.”

Jay thumbed through the pages. “Well, I’m not exactly a literary expert,” he said.

“He’ll read it,” Erika said. “If he knows what’s good for him.”

Jay laughed when she said that. “The boss has spoken so I guess I’ll read it. If I think it has any chance at all to be published I’ll submit it. Although I’m not sure I’m the one to be able to judge these things.”

“Thanks, Jay. That’s all I want. I think you’ll be surprised.”

I stayed for a while, getting caught up on current events. I told them about Dag’s visit and her new boyfriend. Erika, who was never one to shy away from speaking her mind said she wish she had been there and she’d have told them a thing or two. Finally, I said my goodbyes, gave them both a hug, and headed towards home with my fingers crossed.

~~~8~~~

~~~Narration by Erika Jayapalan~~~

After Bettie had left, Jay stood staring at the book for a while. I knew he wouldn’t be able to read it quickly, as his law practice took up most of his time.

“What do you think the chances are to get it published,” I asked him.

“Sim, very slim to none,” he told me. I picked the book up.

“Do you care if I read it and let you know what I think?” I asked him. “It might help if you have another opinion before you read it.”

“I don’t think Bettie would mind,” Jay told me. “I’m kind of curious as to what you think also. Anyway, I have some work to do in my office.”

I wasted no time in opening up the book to begin reading. An hour later when Jay came out of his study, I was still reading.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” he asked.

“Order a pizza, I don’t have time to cook tonight,” I said not looking up. “This is really, really good,” I told him. Of course you might have to change a few of the names in it, but that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Erika, remember that the chances of it getting published are slim. Don’t get too excited.”

“I don’t know about that,” I told him. “I think there’s a better chance of it happening than that, now order your pizza and don’t bother me until I finish.”

Jay sighed. The pizza arrived but I didn’t stop to eat. I continued to read, and by the time I read of Susan’s death, tears were rolling down my cheek. It wasn’t a long book, but it didn’t need to be.

By about ten o’clock when Jay and I lay in bed, I finished and closed the book.

“Well?” Jay asked me.

“It’s good,” I told him. “I think it’s very good.” I gave him a kiss. “Goodnight, sweetie,” I said and quickly got under the covers, and closed my eyes. I knew that if I said nothing at all his curiosity would get the better of him.

I pretended to fall asleep, and then I heard him sigh. And just as I thought he would, Jay picked up the book and began reading. I congratulated myself as I often did for being so clever. When I awoke the next morning, he was just finishing the last chapter, and later I saw him take the book and put it in his briefcase before telling me he needed to get some sleep and headed back to the bedroom.

~~~9~~~

~~~Narration by Laurie~~~

To say I was perturbed at my sister Dag was putting it mildly. I was furious with her. I had seen girls go crazy over guys before. Gail’s infatuation with Chuck was an example of that. But Gail was still Gail, whereas Dag seemed like a completely different person than the one I had grown up with. But there was no sense stewing about it, as there were other things on my mind.

Kurt had asked me out again, and the following weekend we went to another movie, this time followed by a walk in the park. When he took me home, he kissed me goodnight again, this time it lasted quite a bit longer, and I waited for the fireworks to start but they never did.

During the week, we would sometimes study together, or he would come over and we would go for a swim. I enjoyed Kurt’s company, and felt he was becoming a good friend. No matter how hard I tried though, I just couldn’t think of him romantically. And I did try. I just decided I was trying too hard to be like Gail and it was way too soon.

Then one Saturday morning about three weeks after Dag’s vist, Dad came up to my room.

“Hi Laurie, have you got a date with Kurt tonight?”

“Yeah,” I told him. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, not at all. I just wanted to talk to you.” I had been sitting on the love seat in my room watching MTV. I turned it off and he sat down next to me. I really didn’t know what to expect. He seemed very serious.

“You’re growing up fast, Laurie,” he said. “It won’t be long before you’ll be away at college just like Dag.”

“I have a little while yet, Dad. But if you’re worried about it, I won’t be dating any professors.”

Dad laughed at that. “Nah, I wasn’t worried about that. I thought we’d talk about something else. You’ve been asking me a lot of questions about your mother, and I think I’ve come to realize that you are old enough to know the whole story. I’d rather you hear it from me than having to find out on your own some day.”

The way he said it made me unsure. It was as if there were some deep dark secret he had been keeping inside himself for years. I had always thought it had been too painful for him to talk about it, but now I began to think there was more to it than that.

“What was the illness my mother died from?,” I asked hoping it would help him begin.

“She had a brain tumor. I’m sure I told you that. She found out about it at the same time she found out she was carrying you.”

He had told me, but I figured it was as good of a place for him to start. I swallowed hard. After wondering about it for so many years, it seemed almost eerie that Dad was finally going to speak about it. Now I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it. “Couldn’t they do anything for her?” I asked.

“Yes and no.” He answered.

“What do you mean? I don’t understand.” I asked him. I was puzzled, as I was always under the impression there had been nothing that could be done.

“If they had treated the tumor, or operated, then there was a chance she might have been saved. About a 50-50 chance, is what her doctor said.”

“Why didn’t she let them operate and treat it?”

“Because having the treatment would have meant losing you. She would have had to give up having you to save her own life. She couldn’t do it. Having you meant more to her than anything”


“So my mother died to save me? So that I could live?” I was numb. I had always believed that there had not been a choice and that her death was inevitable. Now I knew otherwise. “Why didn’t you talk to her, get her to change her mind?”

“I didn’t know. Not until it was too late, Laurie. I didn’t even know your mother was pregnant.”

“What do you mean, dad? Why not? What haven’t you told me me?”

“Your mother left town. I didn’t know where she was. She wanted to get away to start a new life. I didn’t know where she was until it was too late,” he told me. “She didn’t want me to know because she knew I would have tried to talk her into having the tumor treated.”

“She wanted to get away from you? Why dad? I thought she loved you.” I suddenly felt as if my whole world was spinning out of control.

“She did love me, Laurie, and I loved her. But it wasn’t like you think. We grew up together. We were the closest of friends, just as you and Gail are. Susan meant more to me than you’ll ever know. It wasn’t really me she was running from. Your mother was married to somebody else.”

I swallowed hard. I didn’t know what to say. “Then, how did you become my father?”

It was then that he told me about the night they had been drinking, and for the first time in their lives had ended up in bed having sex. He also told me that my mother had been afraid to have anymore children because she had been pregnant once before and had lost her child. She had blamed herself for the child’s death. He told me how her parents had also driven her away by their religious fanaticism. He told me that my mother’s married name had been Dale, and that her husband had eventually remarried and left town. Up until that moment I did not even know that my grandparents were still alive.

“So I’m the result of a one night stand? Because you and her were on a drinking binge?”

I knew I had raised my voice, but I felt hurt and betrayed. “And not only that my mother cheated on her husband, a man she spent eighteen years of her life with and I’ve never even met him! I shouldn’t even be here! She should be alive, enjoying life. I have no right to be here!”

“Don’t talk like that, Laurie. It wasn’t like that at all. I was closer to your mother than anybody, even her husband. Yes, your mother gave up her life so you could be born. It was what she wanted, and nothing I or anyone else did would have changed that. It was her choice, and even when she was carrying you she loved you more than anything. It’s easy to look back now and be judgmental. Yes, I made a mistake, and your mother made a mistake, and maybe it shouldn’t have happened. But it did and there’s no changing it, no going back, and if it meant giving up you I wouldn’t want to change it.”

“But how can you even look at me, knowing that I’m here because she died?”

“That was your mother’s choice Laurie. I can’t blame you because of the choices she made or for our mistakes. Every time I look at you I see part of her, and I think of how proud she would be of you. Your mother was a good woman Laurie, and she was very brave to do what she did. And yes, I regretted what had happened for a while but it was because I blamed myself for her death, not you. I could never blame you.”

“And my grandparents? Where are they? Why haven’t they ever tried to see me?”

“Your grandparents were not told about you. They weren’t even informed of Susan’s death until after she had been cremated. Her husband, Jim Dale, remarried and moved to another part of the country.”

“But why, dad! Why wouldn’t she want me to see my own grandparents? It doesn’t make any sense”

I was crying now and felt nothing but hurt and confusion. Dad sighed.

“Your grandparents were awful people, Laurie. Some of the things that they did to your mother when she was growing up were unspeakable. They were things that haunted Susan all her life. The first child that she lost……” His voice tailed off and Dad swallowed hard.


“First child!,” I literally yelled the words at him. “She had another child?”

“Yes, it was one of the reasons she married Jim Dale. She got pregnant but had a miscarriage in her eighth month. The baby was stillborn. When Susan’s parents came up to the hospital to see her, they told her it was probably best that the baby had died since it was conceived out of wedlock, and that it was Susan’s own fault for fornicating before marriage.”

“Surely, she didn’t believe that?” I told him.

“No…but….,” he hesitated then went on. “When you grow up with people such as they were, it can’t help but affect you in some ways. In a lot of ways Susan was never able to completely free herself from their grasp. It is that grasp that she wanted to protect you from. That’s why she had me promise that your grandparents would never know about you.”

“I don’t care, Dad. She had no right and neither did you. She should have let me make up my own mind. Lot’s of people are extremely religious but that doesn’t make them nuts.”

“What those two practiced had nothing to do with religion or God, Laurie” Dad said it hatefully, as if he had nothing but disgust for them.

“I still want to see them,” I told him.

“I don’t know where your grandparents are, Laurie. I lost track of them years ago and never made any attempt to find them. I wouldn’t know where to begin looking.”

“Then have somebody else find them,” I said adamantly. “Have Mr. Daggett get a private investigator and look for them. Did you ever talk to Jim Dale after what happened?”


“No Laurie, I didn’t. I wouldn’t have known what to say to him. All I know is that he moved on with his life, and that’s what your mother would have wanted.”

“And the child, the one that she lost, was it a boy or a girl? And was she cremated too?”

“It was a girl. A baby girl. It was a very difficult time for Susan. I think that’s why she was so intent on making sure you were born healthy”

“Did she have a name?” I asked dabbing the tears away from my eyes.

“Yes, her name was Emily. And she wasn’t cremated. She’s buried at Westwood Cemetery.”

“So I had a sister. You could have told me about this a long time ago. It wasn’t fair dad. It wasn’t! How could you do it?”

I grew silent. I knew he was waiting for me to say something but I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to be alone to my thoughts. “Dad, could you please leave me alone now,” I said coldly.

He slowly got up. “I know this is difficult for you Laurie and it will take you a while to understand everything that happened and why. But in time you will.”

He stood waiting for me to say something, but I had nothing to say. All I felt was shame guilt and anger. Guilt, because I was alive when it was my mother who should be living, and shame because I had been conceived in a meaningless one night stand, and anger because my mother and Dad had years ago conspired to keep things a secret that they shouldn’t have. Dad slowly walked out of the room with his head down. I couldn’t look at him.

I sat staring at my mother’s portrait, wondering what she would say to me now if she were alive. How would she make me understand? The thought that she could just as easily be here alive instead of me sent chills down my spine.

“Why did you do it, mother? Why leave me with this burden?” I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. All I could do was sit in numb silence. Thirty minutes ago, I had been blissfully ignorant. Whoever said ignorance was bliss sure knew what they were talking about. And eventually the tears did come.

I don’t know how long I sat there motionless sobbing, but after a while I heard mom calling me from downstairs.

“Laurie! Kurt’s here!” Kurt! I had completely forgotten about our date. I was not in the mood for company but there was no backing out now. I ran over to the top of the stairs.

“I’m running a little late Kurt, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” I ran back to my room and made myself as presentable as possible. I didn’t bother taking out my pony tail, or with putting in contact lenses and did my best to make sure no one could tell I had been crying.

Mom was waiting at the bottom of the stairs to greet me.

“Are you okay, Laurie?” she asked.

“I’ll be okay,” I said numbly.”

“If you want to talk, I’ll be up when you get back.”

“Okay, mom. Really, I don’t want to talk about it.”

Kurt was sitting in the living room. Dad wasn’t there with him and I was glad of that because I didn’t want to face him at the moment.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked.

“Yeah, I didn’t have time to do my hair or anything today.”

“You look fine,” Kurt told me. Mom came in as usual to see us off.


Once outside, Kurt asked me what movie I wanted to see.

“Would you care if we skipped the movie,” I answered. “I don’t particularly feel like a movie today.”

He shrugged. “No, I don’t mind. Do you have something else you want to do?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I want you to take me to Westwood Cemetery.”

Kurt looked at me as if he wasn’t sure what to think.

“It’s important, Kurt”

“Westwood Cemetery it is,” he replied.

Westwood Cemetery was on the outskirts of town. It was a large cemetery that covered
an area as far as the eye could see. I was immediately discouraged that I wouldn’t find what I was looking for. Thankfully, Kurt took me to a little building that contained a directory where you could find anybody or anyone who had been entombed. Still, it took us a while to find what I was looking. But when I did find it, I was able to go directly to the grave.

The tombstone read simply, Our Blessed Daughter, Emily Dale, with the date of her birth and death being the same. It ended with All Our Love. And there was something else there that I didn’t expect. Someone had placed flowers on the grave, and they couldn’t have been there more than a day or so. I wondered if it had been Jim Dale.

I walked over and touched the cold marble as if somehow that would connect me with my past. Than I sat down next to it. A sense of sorrow and sadness engulfed me. Kurt sat nearby, but while he watched he was silent.

“Hi Emily,” I said softly. “I know you don’t know me, but I’m your little sister. My name is Laurie. I guess you’re with our mother now, and she’s probably holding you in her arms right this very minute. I wish you hadn’t died. Then you could be here with me right now, giving me advice, doing the things older sisters are supposed to do. I guess you and mom both kind of got a raw deal, didn’t you?”

“It’s just that, I’m kind of lost right now Emily, and I don’t know what to do. Then again, maybe mom knew that when she died at least she would be with you. I guess that’s why she wasn’t afraid. I never got to see our mother either. At least not that I’ll ever remember. Dad told me that she held me in her arms once. She probably held you in her arms also. I wish I could remember things like that. I think if mom could have given her life for you to be here, she would have done it for you too. I guess I’m not angry at her, and I suppose I should be grateful. But how do I ever repay her for giving her life up so I could have one? Can I ever do that?"

"I’m glad somebody put flowers here for you, Emily. I’ll be bringing some myself from now on. And although I never met you, I love you sis, because I feel as if you’re a part of me. I’m sorry I haven’t visited before now, but I didn’t know so I hope you’ll understand. If you’re with mom, tell her I’m thinking about her, and you and that I love her also.”

I ran my hand across the ground again, then finally I stood up to walk away.

As I did, Kurt took my hand, and put his arm around me. He did it not as a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing, but to comfort me as any friend would do. For once I was grateful for the attention. He didn’t ask any questions and I was glad.


Once we were outside of the cemetery gates, I finally looked up at him. “Do you want to go for coffee?”

“Sure, Laurie, I’d love to go for coffee.” I took one last longing look at Emily’s grave and we walked silently away.

Later that evening he dropped me off at home. This time, sensing my mood, he only gave me a quick kiss before leaving. Most of the lights in the house were off as I walked in. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table, silently drinking a cup of coffee.


“How was your date?” She asked. “Do you want a cup of coffee?”

I shook my head negatively. “I’ve had enough coffee,” I told her. Instinctively, I knew that she wanted me to sit down, so I did. We had probably had a hundred mother-daughter talks at the same kitchen table and over the years ahead we would have hundreds more just like them.

“Where’d you go on your date,” she asked, “another movie?”

“No, we went up to Westwood Cemetery to see Emily.” Mom looked genuinely surprised.

“Are you okay, Laurie?” she asked. I could see concern covering her face.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I wish I had known about Emily sooner.”



“Well, we probably should have told you about her. But it was a difficult time for your mother when Emily died, and your dad has trouble talking about it. And then if we told you about Emily Joe would have had to break his promise to your mother and told you everything.”

“Mom, there were flowers on her grave. Not older flowers, recent ones like they had only been there a day or two. Do you think Emily’s father has been there?”

“I’m sure he visits, Laurie. But those flowers weren’t put there by him. Joe placed the flowers on the grave just the other day.”

Now it was my turn to be surprised.

“Your father visits there several times a month. He does it because he not only wants to pay his respects, he feels that in some ways it brings him closer to Susan. I imagine you thought the same thing today didn’t you?”

“Yes, I guess I did,” I answered.

“Did it help, Laurie?”

“Yes, it did help. I think I understand some things now. Not everything but some things. I think I know why mom made the decision she made. I just don’t know how I can ever repay that debt to her. She gave up her life for me. It’s not that I think it was right to keep it a secret from me all of these years though.”

“Laurie, there is no debt for you to repay. The fact that you are alive, healthy, and with your father is all that Susan ever wanted, and that should be enough. It was her wish.”

I thought about what she had said. “How did you deal with it when you found out mom was having Dad’s baby? You still married him, even after that?”

“I knew what happened between the two of them almost from the time it happened. Don’t judge them too harshly for that Laurie. There’s still a lot you don’t understand.
Both your mom and your dad had very rough childhoods. They always found comfort in one another”

“Dad? I thought he was always rich? How is that harsh?”

“Laurie, you’re going to find that money will buy you a lot of things, but it won’t buy you happiness. When your Dad’s mother died, your father was just a baby also. His father, your grandfather, always blamed him for it, because he reminded him of his mother. Your dad was mistreated quite a bit growing up, as was your mother by her parents. For years, the only two people in this world that Joe would let himself get close to were my father and Susan. He was afraid of love, and did some things that to this day he regrets. But when Dag came into his life, it was the first time anybody ever needed him just for him and not his money. And then you came along, and there were two of you that needed him. It changed him a lot.”

“I bet you had something to do with that,” I told her.

She smiled at me. “Well, I did help give him a nudge or two. But that’s all I did. Your father loves both you and Dag, and all his kids.”

“You still didn’t answer my question though,” I asked.

“Well, I still married him because I loved him. I’ve known your father since I was a child. I knew all about his faults and about his past, but he always treated me and your Uncle Nick with kindness and respect. I knew there was a good person there, wanting to break out and be loved. Yes, I knew what had happened between him and your mother, but I also know why it happened. Even before Joe knew you were coming into this world, he regretted that night he spent with your mother. But don’t judge your father on one night Laurie. And most of all I married him, because I knew he loved me with all his heart, and I can only hope that you and Dag, Little Frank, or the twins can be loved like that some day by someone.”

We both got up and she walked with me up the stairs to my room.

“Laurie, your father loves you. Don’t ever doubt that for a second. What he told you today was one of the most difficult things he has ever had to do. He was torn between respecting what Susan want and what he thought was right. But he felt it was now time to tell you. If you’re searching for reasons as to why things happened the way they did, you won’t find any answers. Sometimes there aren’t any.”

“I love you mom,” I said and hugged her as tightly as I ever had.

“I love you too, Laurie.”

She gave me a quick kiss and I went into my room. It had been a long trying day, one I would not soon forget.

Before changing into my pajamas, I stood looking at the portrait above my bed. “I love you, mom,” I said softly, “and thank you for my life.”

~~~10~~~

~~~Narration by Dag~~~

Once I was back at the University, things seemed to fall into their usual normal routine. After the day at my parent’s house, Andrew never questioned me about it again. But things between Andrew and I began to deteriorate rapidly.


It seemed there were always last minute papers he wanted me to grade, speeches he was going to give that he would dictate for me to type, not to mention the fact that I suddenly found myself becoming his chief maid, housecleaner, launderer, and sink scrubber. And though Andrew himself kept his appearance neat, around the house he was pretty much a slob. Add to this the fact that I had my own school work to do, my own tests to study for, my own classes to attend, and that I was the one that had to commute to the other side of the city, I was beginning to feel exhausted and my grades were beginning to suffer because of it.

It also seemed that our days of going out together were few and far between. He was always, “busy.”

One day as I prepared to sit and study for an exam, he asked me to grade some papers for him.

“Another meeting with the dean, I suppose,” I said sarcastically. “Are you sure the two of you aren’t lovers or something?”

“There’s no need to get sarcastic, Dagmar. All I’m asking for is a little help here.” He told me.

“A little help!” I said. “It’s always just a little help with you. When are you going to give me a little help? I have my own studies I have to take care of, and if I’m going to continue on to get my Masters and PhD as you suggested, I have got to pull my grades up. When was the last time you typed your own speech or graded your own papers, Andrew? I bet you don’t even remember. I do, it was two months ago. How about giving me a break for a change?”


The he tried pulling his charm on me. “I know I ask a lot of you, Dagmar, darling. I just thought you would be able to handle it. It’s not like I don’t have a busy schedule also. I’ll take you out this weekend. It’ll be just the two of us. We’ll go to the symphony, go to a nice restaurant and have a candlelight dinner. I promise.”

“Sure I said, and then the Dean will call or Professor whozit, or something and you’ll cancel out at the last minute. It always happens that way, Andrew.”

“It won’t this time, I promise.” He said crossing his heart. “I love you Dagmar, and I’ll make it all up to you.”


He took me in his arms and for the moment, my anger drained out of me.

“Okay, I’ll do the papers, but if you break your promise this time, it’ll be the last time I’ll do it.”

“You’re too good to me, Dagmar,” he said snuggling up to me. He kissed me again and he was out the door. I sat down to do my own studying, and afterwards, started on his test papers. By the time I finished, it was ten o’clock, Andrew hadn’t returned, but I was too tired to care. I was grateful to be able to fall into bed and get some sleep without being disturbed.




And yes, Andrew did keep his promise that weekend. We went to the symphony, went to the cozy restaurant, and afterwards went home to make love. But by the middle of the following week, things were back to where they had been previously. There were more papers for me to grade, the house always needed cleaning and along with doing my own term paper that was due by the first of the following week, I didn't have time to stop for even a minute of relaxation.

One afternoon, as I was walking across campus, I heard someone calling me.

“Dag, Dag, wait,” I turned around to see Allie Giles, running towards me. When I had started at the University we were in the same dorm together. Often we would hang out on the weekends. Since moving in with Andrew, we seldom saw each other anymore, but I had heard that Allie was now living in a sorority house.

“Hey Dag,” she asked, “How’s it going. I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Okay, I guess,” I said glumly. “How’s it going with you, Allie?”

“Things couldn’t’ be better. You’ve heard that I joined a sorority hadn’t you?”

“Yes, that’s what I hear. Omega Mu, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. We should get together again sometime, Dag.” Then we stood there awkwardly for a moment. “Dag, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. That’s why I tried to catch up to you. Can I be honest?”

“Sure, Allie.” I knew she was going to say what was on her mind regardless of my answer.


“You’re dating Professor Everett from over at Jefferson University, aren’t you? At least that’s what the rumor is.”

“I’ve been out with him a few times.”

“Are you living with him, Dag?” she asked point blank.

“Why do you ask Allie?” If Andrew had been a professor at my college, or one of my instructors, there might have been a problem. There were rules about the instructors dating students, but there were always ways around those rules. The fact that Andrew was from Jefferson University made the point mute.

“Are you or aren’t you?” she asked again.

I sighed. “Yes Allie, I am living with Professor Everett.”

She looked around to make sure there wasn’t anybody nearby, as if she were about to divulge some top secret formula.

“Well, Dag. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Why would I get hurt? I love Andrew and he loves me. Everything is just fine!”

“Dag. I don’t know for sure how to tell you this but somebody should. Some of the other girls at the sorority have started a betting pool, and I couldn’t believe it when they first told me about it.”

“What does a betting pool have to do with me and Andrew?” I asked.

“Dag, the pool is to see which college student will end up being the Professor’s live in companion next year. I guess it’s supposed to be like a joke, except that it’s not really that funny. From what I’ve been able to find out, at the beginning of the term in September, Professor Everett, hits on a girl at one of his lectures.

He then convinces her to move in with him, tells her he is madly in love with her, and then just before summer arrives, he dumps her and is ready to move on to the next one. He’s done it the past three years, so this year they started a pool to guess who will be next year’s playmate.”

“Allie!” I said getting exasperated. “That’s the silliest thing I ever heard of. Just because Andrew has had other relationships that didn’t work out they’re starting a pool. Well tell them to forget it, or if I’m on one of the bet slips, than whoever has it will be the lucky winner. Andrew and I will be together for a long long time.!”

“Geeez, Dag, there’s no since in getting sore about it. I just thought you would like to know.” Allie said and seemed to be a little bit perturbed that I wasn’t appreciative of her for the information.

“Look, I appreciate your concern Allie, but I think it’s much ado about nothing. Andrew is kind, honest, and hardworking. I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

“If you say so, Dag. I’ll take your word for it that you know what you’re doing.” She started to walk away, and then turned back for a second. “Are you sure you’ll be with him next year?” she asked.

“Positive,” I said.

Allie smiled. “That’s good, because I did get your name in the betting pool, you know, just in case.” She ran off leaving me staring at her. I knew there would be many things I would experience in life, but I never knew that I would be an entry on a betting slip. It was the stupidest thing I had ever heard of.

Christmastime approached, and I had not heard from mom or dad, or even from Laurie. Yet, I had not written or called them either, so I never expected anything. Andrew and I would be spending Christmas alone together, but there would be no presents and no Christmas tree. Andrew didn’t believe in it. No, he wasn’t Jewish, because if he were, we could celebrate Hanukah. He just thought that holidays were something dreamed up by card, candy and toy manufacturers to make a profit. It would be my first Christmas with no celebration, not even a tree. It would be the first time I had not gone home for Christmas since leaving for college and I was beginning to become very depressed.

On Christmas morning, I awoke early, while Andrew still slept, as if hoping for some miracle that would change things and Andrew would have at least bought me a little something.

But I knew it was all a fantasy. I thought about mom, dad, and how they and the kids would be gathered around the tree, opening presents, then later Grandpa Frank and Grandma Arcadia would come over along with Uncle Nick and his wife Allison, and my cousin Matt. I walked over to the computer. I was extremely glad that Andrew needed the computer to submit grades and reports to the University; otherwise we wouldn’t have what he would call another electronic piece of garbage.

I decided to check my email, something I hadn’t done in weeks. I systematically began dumping my junk mail, piece by piece. It was then that at saw the email with Mom and Dad’s address on it. I quickly opened it.



Dear Dag,

I just wanted to tell you that I hope you have a Merry Christmas. It won’t be the same here without you, but always know that your dad and I and all of us love you. We wish you were here with us.

I hope things are going well between you and Andrew. Your father and I worry about you so much. I’m sorry if things got out of hand on your visit, but I hope you will understand my feelings. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you Dag, or care about you, so always remember that. Merry Christmas, Dag, and a Happy New Year.

Love,
Mom, Dad, and the whole family.

As lonely as I had felt upon awakening, I felt even more so now. A tear began trickling down my cheek. I hit the reply button and begin to type.


Dear Mom, Dad, and the whole gang,

I love you too Mom and Dad and everybody. Have a Merry Christmas. Thanks for remembering me. Oh yeah, have a Happy New Year.

Love, Dag.



I quickly hit send as I heard Andrew coming down the stairs.

What are you doing on that thing?” he asked.

“Just passing some time,” I said.

He shook his head disgustedly. “What’s for breakfast?” He asked. All I could do was sigh, then go and fix him his whole wheat pancakes with genuine maple syrup.


I was thankful for one thing over the holidays. With everybody else gone, it gave me time to catch up on my own studies, and even to get ahead of them some. Andrew spent a lot of time reading, jogging, and trying to coax me into bed whenever possible. Sometimes it worked, but sometimes it didn’t and he would crawl off and pout. After New Years though, things went back to the way they had been before.


On one particular morning, as I prepared to leave for class, he stopped me. “Dagmar, honey…..” I didn’t let him finish.

“Dagmar honey,” I mimicked him, “Will you be a dear and grade those test papers lying on the desk when you come in from school. I have to give a lecture today, and I simply won’t have time to do it. Yes, Andrew, I’ll grade your papers.”

“You’re such a sweetheart,” he said giving me a quick kiss before I walked out the door.

After taking a cab across town, I arrived at the University to find out that my class for the day had been canceled. It seemed as if my instructor had suddenly become ill. I thought about going into town to kill some time, but remembered the stack of test papers waiting for me on the desk. I decided it would be better to get an early start, so I quickly called a cab to return home.

I quietly entered the house, and was about to go right to work when I heard the noise coming from upstairs.

It frightened me at first because Andrew should have already left. I listened again, and it was then that the noise became a rhythmatic thump, thump, thump on the ceiling. Then I heard the moans, and then I heard the groans, the moans being high pitched and the groans being low pitched and then I was mad, damn mad. For when you put thump, thump, thump together with moans and groans, and the familiar squeak of bed springs it could only add up to one thing.

I wasted no time. I went over to where the stack of test papers were and threw them
into the fireplace, quickly setting them ablaze, but being careful not to make any sudden noise, lest I disturb the little romp I knew was taking place upstairs. I quickly went to the computer, brought up the grading program and erased the grades of Andrew’s students Andrew had yet to send to the main university computer.

The noise from upstairs remained unabated as I crept cautiously up the steps. The thumps, moans, and groans were now being followed by words, words such as “Oh my God! Oh Andrew! Oh Andrew You’re the best,” and other words like, “Oh Annie, baby, baby baby!”

The bedroom door was open.

“Oh Andy, Andy, Andy,” I heard a voice moaning from the other side.

“Andy?” I thought. “Andy? I’ll Andy him in a minute.”

I quickly entered the room.

“Are we bringing in the New Years a little late this year, Andy?” Andy, and the young girl, obviously a student quickly jumped out of bed.


“Uhhhhh….” Andy muttered.

“Kind of at a loss for words, aren’t you Andy?” I said. “That is so unlike you!”

“It’s not what you think, Dagmar, honestly!” he said.

“Well what is it Andy,” I asked. “Tell me what it is exactly. And by the way, call me Dag from now on.”

“Hi Dag,” the girl said as if she didn’t know what else to say.

“I wasn’t talking to you, you little tramp,” I told her.

“Well baby,” Andy said, “Uh…baby...sweetie....you were so busy and wrapped up in school work, I got kind of lonely.”

“Don't even try that baby crap with me you worthless piece of slime. You're damn right I was wrapped up. I was wrapped up in not only doing your school work for you but being your chief diaper changer and bottle washer while you were getting a head start porking next year's winner of Professor Everett's Love Parade.”

“I have to be going,” Annie said.

“No need to run off, little whoring Annie,” I told her. “I’ll be leaving in just a moment. Then you can finish your little jaunt in the hay. As for you Andy, I’ll be back to get my things tomorrow and you had better not be here when I do. I’ll leave your key under the door mat. And if you dare mess with me, I’ll make sure every girl on this campus knows where you’re coming from, not to mention your precious Dean you supposedly have been having meetings with. For all I know, you’re probably screwing him too." I turned to walk away then turned back towards him.

"Oh and Andy darling, there’s one other thing. You might want to start rehearsing your speech.”

“What speech would that be, Dag?”

“The one you’re going to have to give to your students when you tell them they have to take their exams over again. I kind of accidentally dropped them in the fireplace. Oops, my bad. Oh, and missy, make sure Andy is wearing protection. I always did. God help this planet if Professor Slutball ever spawns another terd as big as himself.”


I was amazed at how calm I was as I walked down the stairs. For the first time in months I was beginning to feel good about myself again. I gathered up my books and headed out the door. I did kind of feel sorry for Allie though, as I didn’t know how she would take the news that she had lost the betting pool.

~~~11~~~

~~~Narration by Bettie~~~

The holidays had come and gone. Christmas was missing something that year. It was the first Christmas we weren’t completely together as a family. I had sent Dag the email, even though she hadn’t written since she had left. I really did miss her, and I think all of us felt the same way. I was glad to see that she had replied, and while her quick reply may have seemed quick and obligatory to some, to me it seemed she was feeling just as lonely. You had to read between the lines.

All the fears Joe and I had of what would happen when we told Laurie the truth about her mother had almost begun to dissipate but not entirely. She had handled it well, but I had the uneasy feeling she had lost something in her relationship with Joe in the process and had put up this wall between them. Maybe it was my imagination, I couldn’t be sure. But Joe had done as she requested and had Jay Daggett begin a search for her grandparents to see if they were still living.

By the end of January our seventeenth anniversary had arrived. It was hard to believe that so many years had already gone by. Most of the time, Joe and I would go out somewhere together to celebrate, but this year we had decided to make it a family affair with a special twist. That is I decided to do it that.

We had rearranged the game room and added a table to accommodate everybody. Our house was large, but even at that fourteen or more people was quite a large crowd.


I was also glad that I had managed to control my weight, at least a little bit, during the pregnancy and after having had the dress I was wearing only slightly altered, and cleaned, was able to squeeze myself into it. It was the dress I had been wearing when Joe and I had married seventeen years ago. Joe would be wearing his tux.

Frank and Arcadia had already arrived. Nick, Allison and Matt would arrive soon, along with Jay Daggett and Erika. Laurie had even invited her boyfriend Kurt although she still insisted he was just a friend. She had also invited Gail, but she had already made plans to spend the day with her boyfriend Chuck. The only person missing was Dag, but I had heard nothing from her since Christmas. I would miss her more than anything.

I took one last look in the mirror, adjusted my hair one last time and walked out into the bedroom where Joe was waiting.


The look on his face made the entire effort more than worthwhile.

“How do I look?” I said spinning around.

“Absolutely stunning!” He said. He walked over and took me into his arms. “You’re even more beautiful than you were seventeen years ago!”

“Yeah, right!” I said laughing. “A little heavier maybe, a couple of wrinkles starting here and there but not too awful”

“Nonsense!” Joe replied. “You look just as young as you were the first time around! I’m just wondering how you put up with an old man like me for all of these years!”

“I don’t really, know. Could it be your suave, debonair charm? Could it be your
rugged good looks? Could it be how you sweep me off my feet and into your bed at night? Or is it all of the above? I think it’s all of the above!” We kissed, and when we kissed it was just as long and just as passionate as it had been on our wedding day.

“Hmmm...,” he said as we finally parted. “I might just have to hang around another seventeen years, maybe longer. Do you think you can handle it?”

“I might be able to. Although even I might have a few more wrinkles by then.”

“You might have to prop me up,” Joe told me. “But I’ll be here.” He kissed and we heard Laurie knocking on the bedroom door.

“Are you guys about ready! Everybody’s here including the Reverend.”

“Ready as we’ll ever be!” I said.

We walked out to where everybody was waiting for us. Of course they were highly complimentary and oohing and ahhing over how I looked. I found it a little bit embarrassing, except for when Laurie came over and gave us both a hug.

“I may have been too young for your first wedding,” she said, “But I’m glad I’m here for this one. You look great mom and dad! Even better than you do in your wedding pictures.”

She then hugged both of us, possibly hugging Joe a little longer which did a lot to ease the feelings that I had earlier. If she had put a wall up it was quickly coming down.

We had finally gathered everybody around, and were just about ready to start when the doorbell suddenly rang. I sighed, but walked to the door to answer it. If it had been a solicitor, I believe I would have booted him to the next county.

I opened the door, and there stood Dag, standing alone.

“Do…do you have room for another guest?” she asked.

“Oh Dag! Dag!” I told her grabbing her and hugging her. “You know you’ll never be just a guest here. We’ve missed you.” I was starting to cry.

“I’m sorry mom. Really I am.” She had started to weep also. “I was just awful to you and dad and everybody. How can you ever forgive me?”

“Its okay, Dag. There’s nothing to forgive. You don’t know how happy I am to have you here. This day wouldn’t have been complete without you! Oh damn, my make up’s a mess now!”

“So is mine,” and we both kind of laughed through the tears. “Well they’ll just have to wait until we straighten ourselves up. That’s all there is to it.”

We turned around to see everybody standing and staring at us. Joe walked over to Dag and gave her a hug. “Great to have you home, Dag” was all he said. And as he was hugging Dag, I saw Dag look over toward Laurie and wink at her, and mouth the words “Thanks.”

“What’s that all about, Laurie?” I whispered to her

“Uh…..I kind of wrote Dag a letter, telling her to quit being such a mule, and get her butt back here.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well thank you Laurie. I’m glad you did.”

And as I went to fix my makeup once again, I couldn’t help but smile, wandering what else Laurie had said in that letter.

Finally we were ready to begin again, and once again we stood under the wedding arch,
ready to repeat the moment we had shared so long ago. Afterwards we also posed for anniversary pictures, just as we did the first time only now we posed with quite a few more additions to it.


After a while, when everybody had drank a toast, I nodded to Jay Daggett. Joe had given me my anniversary gift earlier in the week by having two new diamonds added to my wedding band. It was time now for me to give him his. Jay went to the living room, and when he came back he was holding a book, not the book I had given him over two months earlier, but a different one.

He handed it to me. I walked over to Joe and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” he asked puzzled.

“It’s my anniversary present to you,” I told him. He looked at the cover. “It’s the story I wrote you. Did you have it rebound?”

“Look closer, dear and then open it.” He looked at the cover. The previous book only had the title on it. This one had the title, Joe’s name, and the publisher. He looked at me.

“Lanchester Publishing?” He seemed genuinely confused. Lanchester Publishing was one of the largest publishing companies in the country. He opened the book, and that is when he saw the check laying inside, for five thousand dollars. I figured it was time to do some fast talking.

“I took your story to Daggett a couple of months ago. Remember how you said you’d like to leave your mark in some manner? Well that’s what gave me the idea. I knew it was a long shot, but decided I had nothing to lose. After Jay and Erika read it, he called some friends he had at Lanchester and sent it to them. They loved it Joe, they simply loved it.”


“I don’t know,” he replied. “We certainly don’t need the money.”

He looked at me, his expression was still solemn. “Go to the next page Joe,” I told him. “Read what it says.”

He turned the page. “All profits from the sale of this book will be donated to the American Cancer Society, in the name of Susan Pendleton and Laurie Pendleton.”

“I don’t know what to say, Bettie. Are you sure you want to do this? That was my personal story to you, I never wrote it for everybody to read.”


“Joe, The Kid & Me is a wonderful story. I’m proud of that story, proud of the way you wrote it. Why would I want to hide that? And think about it, Joe. What a better way to help so many people?”

“Joe,” Daggett told him. “This is a test copy. The book has been edited with Bettie’s help, there’s a wonderful cover being designed for it. The contracts are ready, and I’ve gone over them with a fine tooth comb. All you have to do is sign it. It’s a great book, Joe. I think a lot of people will want to read it.”


“Yeah,” Erika said chuckling, “Don’t be such a mule! Sign the contract and make us all famous!” Even I had to laugh at that.

He looked at me, and then he looked at the kids. Lastly he looked at Laurie, and he looked at her for the longest time, and then read again silently the page with Susan’s and her name on it. He walked over to Laurie.

He took a pen out, signed the book and handed it to her. “Maybe this will help you to
understand a little bit better,” he whispered to her. I saw Laurie swallow hard as Joe turned around.

“Where is the contract, Jay and where do I sign?”

A cheer went up and I grabbed Joe and pulled him to me, and kissed him and he returned the kiss just as passionately. It wasn’t until later that Laurie showed me what Joe had written in her book:

To my wonderful and brilliant daughter,
Who means more to me than she will ever know
I hope this book helps you to understand

And he had signed his name.

~~~12~~~

~~~Written by Laurie~~~

After everybody had left the Anniversary party, Dag and I went up to the room that we had once shared together, but was now mine. We sat and talked for about an hour, and she told me what had happened with Andy. She said she had been too ashamed of the way she had acted to call or write, and wasn’t ready to face mom and dad again right away. She also said that when it came to men she would be a lot more careful from now on. She had learned her lesson. We also talked about Kurt, something we hadn’t done when she had visited with Andy.

“Well,” she asked, “does he knock your socks off?”

“No, we’re just friends right now,” I told her.

“Yeah, but you are at least at the kissing stage aren’t you?” She asked.

I didn’t know why but I felt slightly embarrassed talking about it. “Yeah, we kiss some. It’s no big deal. I don’t know what the fuss is all about. I just can’t get into it that much. I can’t think of Kurt ever being any thing more than a friend.”

She yawned, and headed for the bed. “Out of great friendships grow great loves,” she told me. “Give it time. Are you coming to bed?”

“No, I’m still wound up a bit. I think I’ll read Dad’s book. Why do you suppose Dad never let us read it before now, Dag?”

“Well, I wasn’t very old when Dad brought you home but I remember some of it. When I first got here, he sure didn’t want me around. I remember that. But he began to change little by little, and then he started falling in love with mom. But there was this one time in this restaurant…,” she smiled thinking about it but left it unfinished. “It might be in there, Dag. Anyway, I do remember that when Dad came home with you, after your mom died, he must have taken it pretty hard. He would hardly talk to anybody; he didn’t even want to be around you at first. I think it’s because you reminded him of your mother and it made him sad. And then mom and dad had this tremendous fight."

"I couldn’t hear what they were fighting about but I sure heard their voices and mom left for a while. This was a very difficult time for him, and he was carrying a lot of guilt. It’s just things he probably didn’t think we should read about.”

“I guess I’m about to find out,” I told her.

“Yep, and I’ll read it tomorrow.”

She yawned and climbed into bed as I opened the book and began reading the first words: “There’s an old line in a Mel Brooks movie called History of the World Part One……”

I didn’t sleep that night as I continued to read. Sometimes I silently laughed, other times it was all I could do to keep the tears from falling, especially when I reached the part dealing with my mother’s death. Reading it, made it seem almost as if I was in the room with her, and it was far different than having someone telling you about it. And by the time I read, “The woman who had given him a life worth living, would always be "The Kid” it was daylight. And then I did fully understand my father, and why he had done things the way he had.

I understood more of what my mother must have gone through and why she made the choice that she did. And I had nothing but total love and admiration for the woman who had adopted me. What I did not understand was my grandparents, and why they had treated my mother the way they had. Can anybody really be that fanatical about their religion? Were they insane and was I carrying the genes of insanity? And how bad had it been exactly? Even in the book Dad had said he knew it was worse for Mom than even he knew. I walked over and put the book on my shelf. And the biggest question of all was, were my grandparents still alive? Little did I know at the time that soon, very soon, that these queries would be answered.

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